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Aides Forced To Cut Mitch McConnell Out Of Six-Pack Of Plastic Rings Again
Babylon Bee ^
| 10/28/2020
| Babylon Bee
Posted on 10/29/2020 7:33:57 PM PDT by Forgiven_Sinner
WASHINGTON, D.C.—While taking a short recess after confirming his 1,274th judge of the morning, Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell found himself ensnared in plastic rings discarded from a six-pack of soda.
"Shhh, little guy, it's OK -- we're just trying to help," whispered an aide as she tried to cut McConnell out of the trash from a six-pack of soda. The frightened senator tried to withdraw his head into his suit jacket, but it just got stuck even worse. He panicked and flipped on his back, where he was completely helpless and immobile.
Finally, aides were able to free him, and he went on to confirm another 3,877 judges.
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: kentucky; mcconnell; mitchmcconnell; satire; senate; theturtle
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I actually laughed out loud when I read this headline. What about you?
To: Forgiven_Sinner
Sea Turtles and now the Kentucky Turtle. In the 70’s I loved the National Lampoon magazine, They are right up there in quality.
2
posted on
10/29/2020 7:38:42 PM PDT
by
bleach
(If I agreed with you, we would both be wrong.)
To: Forgiven_Sinner
3
posted on
10/29/2020 7:43:13 PM PDT
by
corkoman
To: Forgiven_Sinner
My sentiments exactly. Funny on many levels.
4
posted on
10/29/2020 7:47:51 PM PDT
by
Fledermaus
(ONLY A MORON THINKS 6 FEET IS A MAGIC NUMBER!)
To: Forgiven_Sinner
I love the bee! This is my new favorite story.... until tomorrow ....possibly
5
posted on
10/29/2020 7:49:57 PM PDT
by
rebelskid
To: Forgiven_Sinner
LOL
Don’t throw yer six pack rings in the pond Bubba. Turtle boy can’t see them under water. Maybe we could convince Budweiser to make them dayglow orange so the aquatic creatures can see them and avoid them.
6
posted on
10/29/2020 7:53:55 PM PDT
by
smokingfrog
( sleep with one eye open (<o> ---)
To: bleach
NatLamp wasn’t funny, it was sick.
7
posted on
10/29/2020 7:57:34 PM PDT
by
Jeff Chandler
(We flattened the heck out of that curve, didnÂ’t we?)
To: Jeff Chandler
For the most part, yes. But it did have its moments:
8
posted on
10/29/2020 8:01:15 PM PDT
by
Dr. Sivana
(There is no salvation in politics)
To: Forgiven_Sinner
9
posted on
10/29/2020 8:03:16 PM PDT
by
Boomer
(Leftists/Leftism ruins everything it touches.)
To: Forgiven_Sinner
To: Forgiven_Sinner
I actually laughed out loud when I read this headline. What about you?
It got a snort
11
posted on
10/29/2020 8:51:51 PM PDT
by
lepton
("It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into"--Jonathan Swift)
To: Dr. Sivana
Favorite passage:
“We’re arresting you for carrying a concealed weapon”.
“I don’t have a concealed weapon!”
Unzips the other guy’s britches, exposing his dong. “So what do you call this? A dew worm?”
12
posted on
10/29/2020 9:01:18 PM PDT
by
JusPasenThru
(Si vis pacem para bellum.)
To: Dr. Sivana
13
posted on
10/29/2020 9:12:06 PM PDT
by
Jeff Chandler
(We flattened the heck out of that curve, didnÂ’t we?)
To: Forgiven_Sinner
I heard Mich was pretty happy about the Supreme Court victory.
14
posted on
10/29/2020 9:56:50 PM PDT
by
CtBigPat
(2020 is becoming everything 2012 aspired to be.)
To: Forgiven_Sinner
To: Forgiven_Sinner
To: AdmSmith; AnonymousConservative; Arthur Wildfire! March; Berosus; Bockscar; cardinal4; ColdOne; ...
Babylon Bee should save this kind of snark for after the election. He just fast-laned Justice Barrett into the SCOTUS.
17
posted on
10/29/2020 10:51:48 PM PDT
by
SunkenCiv
(Imagine an imaginary menagerie manager imagining managing an imaginary menagerie.)
To: Forgiven_Sinner
Over 5,000 judges a day?
I guess I’d need a soda also - or a pack :)
18
posted on
10/29/2020 11:00:22 PM PDT
by
redinIllinois
(Pro-life, accountant, gun-totin' Grandma - multi issue voter)
To: Forgiven_Sinner
Moscow Mitch absolutely owns the triple economic threat of the end of PEUC and PUA on December 26, and the ending of the Eviction Moratorium. Debt collectors are as hard right now as Bill was when he was being serviced by Monica.
8 months is the longest I’ve been underemployed in my life, making a mere 20% of my former wages. And jobs in my industry are not coming back for years.
19
posted on
10/30/2020 3:20:12 AM PDT
by
Starcitizen
(Communist China needs to be treated like the pariah country it is. Send it back to 1971)
To: Starcitizen
And if Harris/Biden win those jobs will never come back!!
20
posted on
10/30/2020 3:33:15 AM PDT
by
cabbieguy
("I suppose it will all make sense when we grow up"can't be counted)
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