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A simply WONDROUS post from a poster named @Doctor of Love on the Instapundit open thread tonight. = = = = = = = = = I assume the insanity (and incompetent, panicked insanity) in DC was because of the shockingly widespread corruption, mostly in the Senate. Even I did not quite grasp the magnitude of the problem.

If Donnie crushes it, and gets a bigger majority in the Senate and gets back the house then this is me as Donnie, talking to Mitchie:

Have a seat Mitch. Hell of an election, right? Who knew? Fake Rona, fake riots, amazing stuff. You folks in DC are crazy. I've invited Mike, Bill, and Jared to the meeting.

I have a deal for you and your wife, and your kids and your grandkids. So let me take a min to explain it. Coffee? Tea? A water? Because you're going to need one. Maybe a bourbon?

1. Right now, like Michael Corleone at the baptism, you and I are sitting here, and about 400 executive branch swamp dwellers are being terminated. Here's a list. ... Yeah, him. And her.

Yeah, I know you go way back, it is what it is, a new day and all that. By the end of today. 2. Here's a list of their replacements. My team has been combing linkedIn for old R prosecutors, trustworthy old style R Govs, and some retired military commanders. For the last two years. And then, references from them. We especially focused on those who were cashiered by Obama. All interviewed, and all ready to wreck Jaweh's righteous justice. Rudy still has some connections. You would be surprised Mitch, the country is surprisingly patriotic. Plus people like being on the winning team. And some like settling old scores.

3. Look on page 3. No, not there, there. Sidney Powell is the new AG. And Michael Flynn is the new head of the CIA. Grenell? Head of Homeland Security. What? Flynn is still being prosecuted? Well, a package was dropped off at that judge's house this morning. A package of excel spreadsheets, bank transfers statements, and some appalling photographs. The judge apparently partied with Hunter. So Mickey is getting kicked this afternoon. Sidney is a pistol, what?

4. I am going to unleash hell on DC. Biden is first. Hilary is second. Mittens is third. Did you know that the "leadership" of the Mormon church has built up a $125 billion slush fund, totally unsupervised, from their poor members' tithes? Who knew. Harvard has only $25 billion. From the mouths of their hardworking, salt of the earth, membership. And of course Goldman is involved. Mnuchin has been surprisingly helpful here. We started making inquiries three years, and you know what Mitchie? Rule of warfare: when the locals start ratting out the other locals, you know you are winning. An amazing number of Mormon insiders are just as appalled at Mittens and the slush fund as I am, and I know you are. Kinda explains Mitten's impeachment vote, eh? He knew we were sniffing around. He's done, toast. As are many of his buds. And kids.

5. My burn list has about 100 names on it. Those are the first three. But I need your help Mitchie. Because there is no way I can get through the list in the next two years, and after that, my power starts to decline, because everyone focuses on the next presidential election, and I love Mike, but he's not the guy. Mike says he has no stomach for this. Right Mike? Maybe that hottie from South Dakota. She'll kick your ass. But I got 24 months.

6. So my list of 100 names. I need you and me to go through the list, and set up a queue. Here's the list.

7. What, you and your wife are on the list? Well yeah, you and she have been bad boys and girls, so of course you're on the list. So is Lindsay. So is Chucky and DiFi and Pelosi.

8. But like I said, I need your help. I'm probably not going to get past the first 50, maybe 60 names on the list. So I need your help in ordering the list.

So here's the deal:

A. You call a recess right now. Sign here. Hand it to Mike, President Pro Tem of the Senate.

B. The 400 names become recess appointments. Now. We will send you a confide in a few days when that is all worked out. What? you don't have confide? Jeez Mitch, you're the last person in DC without confide. Jared, put confide on Mitch's phone. Then you can call the Senate back into session.

C. You send me back the burn list ordered as you like. I assume you will put you and your wife as number 99 and number 100. That's fine. I will look over your 4-50, might make a few adjustments, but I am sure we will work it out quickly.

D. I assume you will put Lindsay at say number 60. Make him sweat a little? I will be fine with that, so long as you both understand his committee investigations will be directed from here.

E. Doing a great job on judge appointments, keep that up.

What's that Mitch? What happens if you don't do this? Bill, tell him what happens if Mitch doesn't do this.

Bill Barr leans forward with a folder full of documents. Mitchie reads them, closes the folder and signs the recess order, and hands it to Pence.

Oh and one other thing. John Roberts is resigning later today. I'm leaning towards Don Willett. Let me know what you and Lindsay number 60 think.

Oh, and by the way, Epstein didn't kill himself. At all. Pink of health in a federal safe house.

Art of the Deal Mitch, Art of the Deal.