Posted on 08/01/2020 8:58:26 AM PDT by ProudFossil
Anyone who uses an ordinary deck of playing cards is racist, sexist, and elitist.
A deck consists of 52 cards within four groupings called suits. Since a suit is synonymous with men of authority this implies that males control the playful activities surrounding the use of the deck. I propose to change the name to common. Each common then contains 13 cards. One of these is named the ace signifying a superior male while three others bear the images of a jack (prince), queen, and king. This promotes the elitism of the powerful over the peasantry. These cards should have the images erased from them and simply be named one, eleven, twelve, and thirteen. There is an addition card in the deck, not residing in any suit, called the joker. This carries the image of a simpleton or fool and is an example of the public degeneration of individuals suffering from an ailment or handicap. Remove the image, rename the card the extra, and print the word extra on the card.
We now have a deck consisting of four commons, each containing cards numbered one through thirteen, and an extra card for those games needing it. To distinguish between the commons we will assign a unique symbol or icon to each common. We also print the cards using two different colors.
Two of the suits are currently printed in the most racist of terms existing today, that of the color black. Instead print them in green denoting our dedication to conserve and preserve nature. The other two are printed in red which is indicative of tyrannical regime, a debased political party, or the humiliation of an indigenous racial culture. Now print them in pink signifying or love of Gaia, the mother of all things.
The heart symbol will be retained as love is the strongest and most beautiful of all the emotions. The diamond illustrates that wealth creates elitists who subjugate those beneath them. Instead use an equal sign to show the equality of all people. The club represents a cudgel used to beat things or it is a caricature of a simple clover plant. With a circle this removes the confusion and also symbolizes the commonality and full inclusion of everyone. The spade is the most horrific racist word in existence. Instead use the image of human lips that are not decorated or modified in any manner. This will show that no gender is better than any other.
I am placing this article for public perusal hoping that others may enhance or expand upon it. After a period of time I will gather the article combined with the comments and through the help of Babylon Bee, Democratic Underground, Antifa, and BLM prepare a document strong enough to force the capitalistic manufacturers of the current items of hatred and prejudice to change their ways.
Incidentally if you have made it this far in this document and not realized it is a sarcastic satire of the woke system of philosophy permeating our everyday lives, then you are a firm believer in that philosophy and an engrained member of that community. I pity you. Get a life.
Let’s list the face cards with blacks and obvious LGBTQ and transexuals on them. And the place where it says “We support BLM”.
Somebody else go first.
What’s with all the really long and odd vanities today?
Is it raining hard somewhere in the country :-)
Sadly this is exactly how the SJWs in this country think. Games are no longer safe from the woke brigade. I play Dungeons and Dragons, and the wokesters have stuck their nose in there too. Apparently it is racist to portray half-orcs as less intelligent and more prone to violent crime. They want to do away with all racial differences in the DnD world. Also “half-orc” is secretly code for “black people”, according to them, so they’re trying to get the BLM types involved too.
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