SATIRE HAMILTON, OH: TIRED MORGUE WORKER CREMATED BY MISTAKE WHILE TAKING A NAP

https://the-dailystar.com/ ^ | July 23, 2020 | Janice Ellsworth

[Beowulf9]

An employee of a Hamilton, Ohio funeral home and cremation service died yesterday, after being accidentally cremated by one of his coworkers.

[madison10]

Good! Haha. Not as obvious as the Bee.

[vigilence]

Good one!

[Bob434]

they put that at the bottom because they know people will just skim the article and won’t read to the end, then look foolish after re-posting it- devious- should put it right at the top-

[AnotherUnixGeek]

I don’t care who y’are, that’s FUNNY!

A sleeping man is put into an oven and burned to a horrifying and incredibly painful death, despite awaking during the ordeal and making enough noise in his death struggle for the procedure to be stopped. Yeah, failing to see the humor.

[cherry]

its very horrible....hard to understand how it could happen...he was alive and breathing although not awake.....didn’t this worker notice the breathing...

[EagleUSA]

Never get caught “laying around on the job” in a morgue...that can obviously be dangerous.

[mass55th]

"Ms. Anderson claims that the young coworker who caused the accident was a new employee, and had forgotten to check for the toe tag to make sure he had the right body."

Duh!!! Doesn't this person watch any TV shows? Corpses always have a toe tag on them.

[tinyowl]

Nice. When I first heard kids calling each other bastards on the the playground in 5th grade I thought they meant fish poops.

[mass55th]

"Something sounds really fishy here. Accidentally? C’mon."

I wonder if his/her first question was "Am I fired?"

Just realized that could be a pun.

[FreeperCell]

Yup.

[Leaning Right]

> "Disclaimer: This is satire." <

I suppose next you’re going to say that bat children aren’t real.

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

Sounds like a headline from the WORLD WEEKLY NEWS. Only thing missing is Batboy and Space Alien!

[mass55th]

"Disclaimer: This is satire."

Missed that. Found this:

Funeral Home Employee Accidentally Cremated While Taking a Nap-Fiction! Social Media / By Rich Buhler & Staff / March 14, 2018

[Ruy Dias de Bivar]

Beat me to it by two minutes!

[mrsmith]

” Scroll down the page at the link. It says: “Disclaimer: This is satire.””

Killjoy!

[Leaning Right]

> Only thing missing is Batboy and Space Alien! <

I don’t know anything about space aliens. But Batboy is real! See his picture in my post #31. And also note that the cover mentioned scientists. So the story has to be legit.

[WhattheDickens?]

Psychopaths are looking for a mascot. Thanks for volunteering.

[Nateman]

Hey boss! Are they supposed to scream like that after we put them in?

[Dr. Sivana]

Scroll down the page at the link. It says: "Disclaimer: This is satire."

Actually it says in 6 point grey type on a black background buried in the footer:
"Disclaimer: This is satire."

[Do_Tar]

> I mean ... if you fall asleep on the job you should expect to get fired.

You’re gonna burn for that.