Posted on 05/23/2020 3:25:49 PM PDT by krny9
Police say a very drunk man claimed he was shot in his buttocks in Dutchess County, but no injury to his buttocks was found. Stay Informed: CDC Website About Coronavirus
On Sunday around 2:30 a.m., the City of Poughkeepsie 911 received a call reporting a person shot in the area of 69 Spruce Street. The caller reported the shooting happened just after 2 am. in the area of Mill and North Clover Street.
Responding officers found a highly intoxicated 35-year-old Bronx man who told people he was walking when suddenly he realized he was shot in the buttocks, fell and struck his head, police say.
The victim was transported to a hospital where he was treated for his injuries. After x-rays it was determined that no bullet was inside the victim's buttocks, medical personnel were unable to say if the victim was shot or if he suffered some other type of injury to his buttocks, according to the City of Poughkeepsie Police department.
(Excerpt) Read more at hudsonvalleypost.com ...
some one gave him a well deserved kick in the keister!
I came up with the same diagnosis!
Paging Forrest (”In the buttocks sir”) Gump!
Can you imagine risking your life as a police officer and then having to examine a drunk’s nude posterior to look closely for a gunshot wound?
“Hey, why do I have to do it, Ed?”
“I’ve been on the force ten years. You’ve been here a year. I outrank you. You are hereby in charge of the rear end detail.”
Man, what a pain in the ass this guy is!
Maybe they could go down to the Stonewall Bar and get some enthusiastic volunteers. A job to be done right requires diligence & enthusiasm, I am sure that Bar will thorough & high quality job.
Shot in the buttocks, fell and struck his head
Another Saturday for Joe Biden.
Something jumped up and bit me!
Bet they found a hole. . .
Call for the EMT’s to do their job, and if the rectum tries to leave, knee cap him.
Fake butthurt
Things one would never hear on Broadway Is My Beat.
OMG he’s Deadpool
CDC will say he’s a COVID victim.
Probably was shot with a BB gun. Hurts but rarely penetrates.
Like the drunk who got up from the poker table to take a leak...came back w/o putting himself away and zipping up and stood against the table with his manhood laying out on it.
One player looks and says, "What's that!?"
Another says, "It's a snake! Kill it!"
The third smashes his drink glass down on it.
The owner says, "It bit me! Hit it again!"
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.