Posted on 04/14/2020 1:39:45 PM PDT by gattaca
U.S.—Medical experts were excited to announce today that Democrats have achieved herd immunity against sexual assault allegations.
After getting accused of sexual assault thousands and thousands of times for so many years, the Democrats developed some kind of antibodies against the allegations. Researchers are taking blood samples to isolate the antibodies to see if a vaccine can be developed for other groups.
"It's amazing -- the entire Democrat demographic is entirely immune," said one researcher as he took blood samples from Joe Biden. "After conspiring with the media to squash any accusations that pop up, it seems, over time, Democrats have been able to develop a kind of herd immunity to any allegations."
Biden has been an important case study for medical experts' work, as he can publicly sniff people's hair and inappropriately touch many people on camera and still be entirely protected from any accusation whatsoever. His DNA is being studied for a possible breakthrough for other politicians.
With time, other political parties may be able to use the vaccine, but for now, it seems only Democrats are immune. Other political parties and at-risk conservatives are being advised to quarantine so as to avoid any allegations until a vaccine is discovered.
I think if the researchers looked closely, they would find a chemical link between the media and the immune factor.
“After conspiring with the media to quash any accusations that pop up, it seems, over time, Democrats have been able to develop a kind of herd immunity to any allegations.”
Sadly, all too true,
Are we sure this is satire?? The Bee is more credible than CNN, MSNBC, ad nauseum.
This is really great satire.
Ok... that’s funny.
The Dems now tout the personal purchase of Clinton El Producto cigars.
They have been “properly cured” Bill Clinton style.
Weinstein and pothers promoted them to aficionados.
Smoke ‘em if ya got ‘em.
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