Posted on 04/02/2020 10:26:55 AM PDT by Captain Peter Blood
BREAKING NEWS:
President Trump and Former VP Joe Biden spoke on the phone last night to discuss the Coronavirus Crisis.
Mr. Biden brought up a number of concerns and suggestions. President Trump assured Mr. Biden that most of his suggestions had already been addressed and that everything that could be done was already in place.
Mr. Biden offered his services to help in the crisis and the President told him that there was one critical area he might be able to help. President Trump indicated that with all of the urgent priorities his administration was dealing with there was one critical medical item that was in very short supply, Tongue Depressors. It was of absolute importantance that this shortage be dealt with as it turns out most were coming from China and they had cut the U.S. supplies off.
President Trump indicated that if Mr. Biden were serious in his offer of help he would appoint him as a Medical Procurement Czar for Tongue Depressors. Mr. Biden jumped at the chance and said he was honored to help.
The President told Mr. Biden that there was a need for at least 200 Million Tongue Depressors and that his job would be to find a new source of supply either in the U.S. or possibly Canada or South America.
The discussion centered on whether to have one time use wooden depressors or re-useable plastic ones that could be sterilized for reuse. Mr. Biden indicated he would put together a task force to look into all of this. The President said Mr. Biden would work out of his Bunker office in Delaware and assemble his own staff.
To aid Mr. Biden in his task the President directed Lt. General Frank Armstrong, commander of the White House Air Fleet, to make a plane and a helicopter available for the former Vice President. General Armstrong, when interviewed, said that a Boeing 707 in mothballs was being readied for the Former Vice President.
Mr. Biden was eager to get started and said he would suspend his Presidential Campaign immediately to take on his new position. Mr. Biden indicated he would resume his campaign in and around October 1st after the crisis has passed.
This could very well be a practical example of “keep your friends close and your enemies closer”.
Joe, why do all the new tongue depressors you procured taste like Fudgesicles?
Or it could be pretty decent satire....
Yesterday was April 1st, not today. :-)
Is it April 1st? Or humoring a senile old man?
Awesome. Biden’s in charge of popsicle sticks!
I like that. Or Chinese Finger Cuffs. Of course the first task would be to rename them because racism. And Joe would be a natural because he is constantly told how important it is to keep ones fingers to oneself and not to bite them when proffered. So your idea of testing them would be applicable, especially since he could test five at a time. Of course it would never dawn on him that these serve no medical purpose...
Would have been better if the task force was to study toilet paper usage. An then to make recommendations to the American people on how to safely and sanitarily use less tissue per ‘event’.
Since we know Joe and his buddies are the biggest arseholes around, any recommendations that work for them should be plenty good enough for everyday Americans.
"Alyssa Jones? S___, I know Alyssa Jones... I mean I KNOW Alyssa Jones!....."
I liked it. Perfect job I think. Useless job for Useless Joe.
You sure he wasn’t actually hoping for the job of chest inspector for 12-years-old and younger girls? He could probably smell the C-Virus in their hair, too.
This post was meant for yesterday????
“After former VP Joe Biden accepted the job as “Czar for Acquisition of Tongue Depressors”, he asked President Trump, “What’s a tongue depressor?” ...
This post has to be sarc. Bidin couldn’t find his own ass...with both hands...in Times Square...at high noon...with both hands...with pre-printed instructions !!
I’d rather assign Biden for poop cleanup in SF.
Thank you for your contribution to fake news..........
I think it needs a vanity title.
Biden got that many words out without getting lost in space who knew.
Excellent. A day late.
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