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Saw a Doctor on TV today... (Humor break)
Can't remember
| Unknown
Posted on 03/31/2020 11:01:14 AM PDT by 1FreeAmerican
I heard a Dr. on TV saying that in this time of Coronavirus and staying at home, we should focus on inner peace. To achieve this, we should always finish things we start and we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked through my house to find things I'd started and hadn't finished: I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Chardonnay, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piss. An telum u luvum. And two hash yer wands, stafe day avrybobby!!!
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: coronavanity
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To: 1FreeAmerican
And two hash yer wands Ah, the loneliness is settling in.
2
posted on
03/31/2020 11:04:31 AM PDT
by
Fido969
(In!)
To: 1FreeAmerican
TOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY! Thanks for the laugh!
3
posted on
03/31/2020 11:15:31 AM PDT
by
carikadon
(Don't mess with Texas)
To: 1FreeAmerican
I would like some inner peas. I really like them - especially with a good steak.
To: 1FreeAmerican
Thank you for the much needed laugh. And as for peas someone here years ago had a tagline that read “Pray for whirled peas”. I thought that was pretty funny. But I am easily amused.
5
posted on
03/31/2020 11:25:16 AM PDT
by
certrtwngnut
(4- Do something,,,,even if it's wrong.)
To: 1FreeAmerican
With apologies to Rodney Dangerfield. “No respect I tell ya!’’ My doctor told me I tested positive for the Corona virus. I said “I want a second opinion’’. He said Okay, you’re ugly too!’’
6
posted on
03/31/2020 11:25:35 AM PDT
by
jmacusa
(If we're all equal how is diversity our strength?)
To: 1FreeAmerican
I think Dr. Oz looks and sounds like Fire Marshall Bill.
7
posted on
03/31/2020 11:30:51 AM PDT
by
real saxophonist
(If you don't have a gun, sell some toilet paper, and go buy a gun. - Colion Noir)
To: 1FreeAmerican
A Dr? Are you sure it wasn’t Marianne Williamson? “I’m going to harness the power of love.”
8
posted on
03/31/2020 11:36:32 AM PDT
by
Brilliant
To: 1FreeAmerican
Awreddy snedt tihs ta tuu frendz.
;^)
9
posted on
03/31/2020 11:40:41 AM PDT
by
elcid1970
("The Second Amendment is more important than Islam.")
To: 1FreeAmerican
10
posted on
03/31/2020 11:54:29 AM PDT
by
hondact200
(Lincoln Freed the Slaves. Obama Enslaves the Free. Trump 2020 - Keep America Great)
To: 1FreeAmerican
11
posted on
03/31/2020 12:06:44 PM PDT
by
abigkahuna
(How can you be at two places at once when you are nowhere at all?)
To: abigkahuna
excuse me... Ray D’Ariano in fact in the comments, Ray asks where his check is from the guys posting this little slice of his comedy...
12
posted on
03/31/2020 12:08:32 PM PDT
by
abigkahuna
(How can you be at two places at once when you are nowhere at all?)
To: abigkahuna
13
posted on
03/31/2020 12:09:48 PM PDT
by
abigkahuna
(How can you be at two places at once when you are nowhere at all?)
To: 1FreeAmerican
14
posted on
03/31/2020 12:20:22 PM PDT
by
redinIllinois
(Pro-life, accountant, gun-totin' Grandma - mui issue voter)
To: abigkahuna
Oh yes - the funniest stuff!
To: 1FreeAmerican
16
posted on
03/31/2020 12:35:16 PM PDT
by
OrioleFan
(Republicans believe every day is July 4th, Democrats believe every day is April 15th.for corruptiion)
To: 1FreeAmerican
I think it was the wum that did it.
17
posted on
03/31/2020 12:40:20 PM PDT
by
IronJack
To: real saxophonist
I think Dr. Oz looks and sounds like Fire Marshall Bill."Let's just say you're running a fever, and decide to take some Hydroxychloroquine, but you accidentally grab some aquarium cleaner instead....."
To: 1FreeAmerican
19
posted on
03/31/2020 1:19:42 PM PDT
by
RushIsMyTeddyBear
("Progressives" (elitist Communists) "Love you to death".)
To: GreenHornet
I cleaned my aquarium with Hydroxycloroquine and now
all my fish are dead.
Signed Heart broken.
20
posted on
03/31/2020 1:23:20 PM PDT
by
tet68
( " We would not die in that man's company, that fears his fellowship to die with us...." Henry V.)
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