Posted on 03/13/2020 6:23:20 AM PDT by Colonial35
Always look for the silver lining!
Wife missing in Bar Harbor, Maine.
A few days after his wife disappeared in a kayaking accident, a Bar Harbor man answered his door to find two grim-faced Harbor Master officers.
"We're sorry Mr. Flynn, but we have some information about your wife,"
"Tell me! Did you find her?!" Cedric Flynn asked.
One officer said, "We have some bad news, some good news, and some really great news!"
Fearing the worst, Mr. Flynn said, "Give me the bad news first."
The officer said, "I'm sorry to tell you, sir, but this morning we found your wife's body in the bay."
"Merciful Lord" exclaimed Flynn. "What could possibly be the good news?"
The officer continued, "When we pulled her up, she had 12 of the best looking Atlantic Lobster's that you have ever seen clinging to her. Haven't seen lobsters like that since the 60's, and we feel you are entitled to a share of the catch."
Stunned, Mr. Flynn demanded, "If that's the good news, then what's the great news?"
The officer replied, "We're gonna pull her up again tomorrow."
Haven’t seen one of these in a long time. Good show!
I have been diagnosed with a fear of giants.
The doctor says I suffer from FeeFiFobia.
Oh, where has the silliness gone? Where is Lucky19?
An Irish Priest was transferred to Texas.
He rose from his bed one fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day and noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn.
He promptly called the local police station. The conversation went like this:
“Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”
“And the best of the day to yourself. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann’s Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye be so kind as to send a couple o’ yer lads to take care of the matter.”
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good Father, replied,
“Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took care of the last rites!”
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment. Then, Father O’Malley replied,
“Aye, ‘tis certainly true; but we are also obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.”
Have to say, for a Friday Silliness Thread, the return could not have come at a better time.
Thanks FRiend, for bringing it back!
Bkmrk
A theme song for the Chinese Wuhan Coronavirus:
Freak Out
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_5qrwbkmlEk
He replied that he is working on "Aqua-thermal treatment of ceramics, plastics, aluminium and steel under a constrained environment".
I was impressed.
On further inquiry, I learned that he was washing dishes with hot water...
under his wife's supervision.
--------------------------------------------
A co-worker told Bubba that his wife was being unfaithful everyday at 1:30 in the afternoon with Bubba's best friend.
Worried and hurt, Bubba ran home at 1:30 to see if this was true.
He came back to the office contented and relieved.
His co-worker asked him how it went.
"Look," said Bubba, "don't start such terrible rumors! That guy isn't my best friend... I don't even know him."
The local Emergency Department has a Triage Tent outside. It’s the Carona Cabana!!
For Lunch Today there is Wuhan Lua.
Lol!!!
Thanks for the thread!
:-)
Thank you for reviving this thread.
I have always enjoyed it! :-)
I have really missed it and am only copying and pasting from the archives.
Like This one.
Little Johnny’s mother was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the bottle. During her struggle, the phone rang so she asked four-year-old Johnny to answer the phone.
Little Johnny ran out into the living room and answered the phone. “Mommy, it’s the minister,” he said to his mother.
From the kitchen, Johnny’s mom said, “Tell him I’ll call him back.”
Little Johnny spoke into the phone saying, “Mommy can’t come to the phone to talk to you right now. She’s hitting the bottle.”
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.