Posted on 12/03/2019 8:05:11 AM PST by SeekAndFind
Thanks.
How about another game? :) :)
[from: HEADDESK — THE MISADVENTURES OF A LIBERAL BUDDHIST IN TEXAS]
The Lifetime Movie Drinking Game
Every time a woman cries, take a drink.
Every time a man cries, take 2 drinks.
Every time someone dies, take a drink.
…take 2 drinks if they were murdered.
…take 3 drinks if they died of a chronic illness such as AIDS or cancer.
…take 4 drinks if they died of a mental illness such as anorexia, bulimia, or a drug overdose.
Take 1 drink for every TV or movie actor you notice before their career took off.
Take 2 drinks for every TV or movie actor you notice from after their career sunk.
Take 1 drink every time you see someone who was involved in an Aaron Spelling project in the 90’s.
Take 1 drink whenever a teenager becomes pregnant.
…take 2 drinks if she becomes pregnant by a rape or incest.
Every time a man beats a woman, take a drink.
Every time a woman beats another woman, take a drink.
Every time someone beats a child, take 2 drinks.
Every time a woman beats a man, take 2 drinks.
Every time someone falls into the seedy world of drugs, take a drink.
Every time someone comes out as a homosexual/transgendered person, take a drink.
Every time the main character gets divorced or abandoned, take a drink.
Every time the main character is interviewed by the police, take a drink.
Every time a baby is given up for adoption, take a drink.
…take 2 drinks when the birth mother makes a surprise appearance in the older child’s life.
…if this turns out to have been a bad idea, take 3 drinks.
…if the child is unhappy with his/her (oh who am I kidding, of COURSE it’s a her) adoptive parents and likes the birth mother better, take 4 drinks.
…if this somehow ends to murder, finish the bottle.
Every time a cheerleader appears on camera, take a drink.
…take 2 drinks every time one of them dies.
…take 3 drinks if one is murdered.
Every time a character is raped, take a drink.
…if it was a date rape, take 2 drinks.
…if the character was drunk, take 3 drinks.
…if the character was drugged, take 4 drinks.
…if this leads to a pregnancy, take 5 drinks.
…if this results in a legal battle, take 6 drinks.
…if the case ends favorably for the victim, finish your bottle.
Every time you see a subtitle to a movie (ie. Moment of Truth: Not Without My Handbag: The Lucious Divine Story) take a drink for each individual title.
Every time a main character becomes a prostitute or stripper, take a drink.
…take 2 drinks if she’s forced into it by circumstances.
…take 3 drinks if she’s forced into it by a man.
…take 4 drinks if this some how leads to murder.
Everytime a woman has A Past, take a drink.
...take 2 drinks if this is obvious foreshadowing if what is about to happen.
...take 3 drinks if it’s foreshadowing her involvement in A Cause.
...take 4 drinks if it’s foreshadowing her future involvement with another woman who has a similar Past.
POSTED BY MISS MOXIE AT 6/27/2008 01:57:00 AM
I actually thought this was real for a paragraph.
A story from the point of view of the prop boyfriend.
-PJ
If you want to stay absolutely sober, only drink when you see someone’s breath when they are talking and snow is everywhere.
Anima schmanima! Whatever.
I still think it’s hilarious.
And if you positively absolutely want to stay stone cold sober - take a drink only when you see a POC on the show.
Or a Mexican.
Although there aren’t that many Mexicans in Canada are there?
UPDATE: My wife tells me that WAS a black character on a Hallmark movie recently.
Was he a tranny? A druggie? On Welfare? 5-6 kids by 7-8 baby mamas?
Of course not. But a (gasp) black guy none the less.
That was a running joke with my brother and I when we were kids.
“Why was Christmas cancelled?”
ANSWER; Cause Santa fell off the razor and cut his leg off.
Yea, I know its bad, but it made us laugh at the time.
LOL! I’ve seen so many of these I should have noticed that, but never did.
(I guess I was just all caught-up in the mushy romance...)
But in these scenarios, he doesn’t get dumped ‘through no fault of his own’. He’s usually a really materialistic, greedy jerk.
I think Marcus was making fun of the shallow and stereotypical characterizations in many of these stories.
” ‘Task Rabbit’. That’s a new one for me.” [PhiloBedo, post 4]
A way to get odd jobs done in the gig economy.
Think of Uber or Lyft in ride sharing.
Or Airbnb in short-duration lodging.
What do you expect from the guy who put protomatter in the Genesis Device ?
A Hallmark movie costs about $2 million to produce. No primo acting, writing, sets, or primo ANYTHING. It may take a month to make, and if an actor is in it, it is for exposure. If a writer is doing it, they need the money.
They are formula and eventually will be produced by machines.
DK
I don’t have access to ‘Hallmark’, but I’ve seen a lot of Christmas movies. Occasionally they are very well-done.
I like these:
The Christmas Secret
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0272046/
Prancer
https://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/prancer-1989
(We bought a couple of very unusual European ones last year; can’t recall the titles, but will post later.)
I don't know how far the tradition goes back, but all these plots remind me of Reece Witherspoon in Sweet Home Alabama. It's all there except for Christmas.
Hallmark used to sponsor very different stuff. The Hallmark Hall of Fame used to be a big thing.
I love Hallmark Movies!
They’re innocent, romantic, filled with hope, and the storylines are heartfelt and sincere, and quite enjoyable when done well!
Lacey Chabert, Danica Mckellar and Candice Bure are, to me, the true sign that Christmas is coming our way!
Ed
It was brilliant satire, by the way!
ONE we enjoy is “November Christmas” (Sam Elliot, Jon Corbin, Karen Allen). Addresses 6-7 conflicting interpersonal relationships. AND it has real snow unlike the past several years of Hallmark CGI snow.
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