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New Greta On The Shelf Doll Will Track Your Climate Sins
Babylon Bee ^
| December 2nd, 2019
| Mark Scheffler
Posted on 12/02/2019 2:36:28 PM PST by BeauBo
A fun new "Greta on the Shelf" doll will watch you every day and fly back to the UN each night to report your climate sins to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change.
The doll is equipped with eye sensors programmed to detect activities that are harmful to the environment.
"Greta sees you when you're sleeping, she knows when you drive your SUV to the store instead of taking public transportation," the manufacturer said. "She knows if you've been bad or carbon-neutral, so be carbon-neutral for goodness' sake!"
One couple in Portland proudly displayed their new doll and lectured their children on the true meaning of Christmas: fighting climate change...
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; elfgreta; greta; parody; regreta; scoldilocks
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1
posted on
12/02/2019 2:36:28 PM PST
by
BeauBo
To: BeauBo
I want the Big Bad Wolf doll with the Greta On The Shelf Doll in his mouth.
To: BeauBo
That is a scary doll. It’s sure to give kids nightmares.
3
posted on
12/02/2019 2:43:52 PM PST
by
seawolf101
(Member LES DEPLORABLES)
To: BeauBo
No matter where you sit in the room, the eyes are looking at you...........................
4
posted on
12/02/2019 2:43:55 PM PST
by
Red Badger
(Against stupidity the gods themselves contend in vain...................)
To: clearcarbon
Greta doll roasting on an open fire...
5
posted on
12/02/2019 2:45:20 PM PST
by
Grimmy
(equivocation is but the first step along the road to capitulation)
To: BeauBo
I WANT ONE! Just to put on a rotisserie! Hears your warming beeotch!
6
posted on
12/02/2019 2:47:47 PM PST
by
Bommer
(2020 - Vote all incumbent congressmen and senators out! VOTE THE BUMS OUT!!!)
To: Grimmy
Greta doll roasting on an open fire...
Won't work ... she comes from the "Talky Tina" line of dolls.
7
posted on
12/02/2019 2:48:31 PM PST
by
Dr. Sivana
(There is no salvation in politics)
To: BeauBo
8
posted on
12/02/2019 2:50:23 PM PST
by
Kozak
(DIVERSITY+PROXIMITY=CONFLICT)
To: Dr. Sivana
9
posted on
12/02/2019 2:50:52 PM PST
by
Vaquero
( Don't pick a fight with an old guy. If he is too old to fight, he'll just kill you.)
To: BeauBo
10
posted on
12/02/2019 2:52:02 PM PST
by
whinecountry
(Semper Ubi Sub Ubi)
To: seawolf101
That’s scarier than “It”. Even Pennywise will run away..
11
posted on
12/02/2019 2:52:26 PM PST
by
max americana
(Fired ONE libtard at work at every election since 2008 because I enjoy them crying)
To: Vaquero
Gotta get one for my dogs as a chew toy.
12
posted on
12/02/2019 2:52:27 PM PST
by
oldasrocks
(Heavily Medicated for your Protection.)
To: clearcarbon
She would fly a reindeer to the U.N. but she’s concerned about reindeer farts adding to the climate Armageddon.
To: BeauBo
“Greta is programmed to detect activities including these:
Using the heater instead of rubbing two sticks together for warmth
****
RFOL
14
posted on
12/02/2019 2:52:51 PM PST
by
max americana
(Fired ONE libtard at work at every election since 2008 because I enjoy them crying)
To: BeauBo
“You have used too much toilet paper to wipe yourself, and have caused the destruction of another tree. Next time you must use your hands only. Violation of that rule, will result in the mandatory punishment of having to lick yourself clean after every toilet visit for a 48 hour period. No diversion to the rule will be accepted.”
15
posted on
12/02/2019 2:54:30 PM PST
by
mass55th
("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne)
To: Kozak
LOL 👍
16
posted on
12/02/2019 2:54:32 PM PST
by
Track9
To: Grimmy
Greta doll got run over by a reindeer...
17
posted on
12/02/2019 2:55:59 PM PST
by
mass55th
("Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway." ~~ John Wayne)
To: BeauBo
Sure to sellout for Christmas!
18
posted on
12/02/2019 2:58:34 PM PST
by
FreedomPoster
(Islam delenda est)
To: BeauBo
One couple in Portland proudly displayed their new doll and lectured their children on the true meaning of Christmas: fighting climate change... Are we completely sure this is satire?
To: Grimmy
"Greta doll roasting on an open fire..."
When Santa goes up the chimney he'll leave behind a bag of toys and maybe a Greta On The Shelf Doll. Shortly thereafter he may be followed by a Greta doll going up the chimney leaving behind a carbon footprint.
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