Posted on 09/29/2019 5:58:39 AM PDT by super7man
It has come to my attention that there is a great deal to be learned about how things work in our world. And through the generosity of our government, we can seek funding to pursue some of these things.
So, this is a tread with suggestions for Government Grants to solve the mysteries of the Universe, after all, it is for the children.
I will start.
Why do tornados always attack mobile home parks?
Request $10 million grant.
Why do smoke alarms always go into a death knell at 3:30 AM?
Request $20 million grant.
Others?
Just adding to the problem. We should instead work to eliminate these grants, or at least the vast majority.
That is the point. Demonstrate absurdity, with absurdity.
Why should the best President ever be impeached - $70 Million...Oh, wait...
Why does an open-faced peanut butter sandwich always land face down if the floor is carpet? The peanut butter lobby might kick in a few bucks too.
I request $14.6 million to investigate why there are so many stupid pointless vanities on Free Republic.
The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
Man... Have a sense of humor and let go of some of that want to keep others in a box. This could be an interesting exercise in creative thinking. lol
“The chance of the bread falling with the buttered side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet. “
And the color. If it’s white, you are safe betting the whole roll.
That WAS humor.
Just ask Lesko.
But has that been confirmed through expensive government studies?
I kind of thought you were being sarcastic, as was I. But around here you never know for sure. There is a whole lot of traditional “sit down, shut up, and only speak when spoken to” sentiment floating around. :)
That is a good one. lol
I wonder about those things too, like why everyone races each other to a stop light. Or why there needs to be a warning of possibly being scalded label on new shower heads.
Do deer actually use those signed highway deer crossings? $100 million
How to quickly and safely remove government stickers from apples?
Are the stickers in current use adaptable for tagging illegal aliens?
Use Any Coin Combination.
Do Not Use Pennies.
Does St. Jude really read the classifieds?
How many petitions to St. Jude posted in the classifieds has St. Jude granted?
:)
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