Posted on 09/26/2019 12:22:44 PM PDT by sodpoodle
LOL!
Probably not that one, but its mirror image.
I have a paralyzed friend who trolls Nazis (real ones) on line with really ugly German jokes like that.
What do you call 4 blondes at a 4-way stop intersection???
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Eternity...
In a calm voice, the husband said, "Honey, you remember the jewelry store we went into about 5 years ago where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford and I told you that I would get it for you one day?"
The wife choked up and started to cry and said, "Yes, I remember that jewelry store."
He said, "Well, I'm in the bar right next to it."
This really happened...It wasn’t a joke, but it was so funny I don’t even remember the joke...
Several of us were sitting in the break room at work and one guy said “Hey...I heard this great Polack joke...”
Another guy said “Watch it, I’m Polish...”
The first guy said “I’ll tell it slow...”
World First - Skydiver Luke Aikins Jumps 25000 Feet Into Net With No Parachute
In our modern culture, it’s now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.
Yep. And with two female pilots that aircraft will be un-manned.
Fun thread. Thanks and bookmarking.
Her husband had to break the window to get her out.
Upon their arrival, the captain showed the flight attendant the best place for airline personnel to eat, shop, and stay overnight.
The next morning as the pilot was preparing the crew for the day's route, he noticed the new stewardess was missing.
He knew which room she was in at the hotel and called her up to ask what happened to her. She answered the phone, crying, and said, "I can't get out of the room!" "You can't get out of your room?"; the captain asked. "Why not?" She replied, "There are only three doors in here," she sobbed, "one is the bathroom, one is the closet, and one has a sign on it that says 'Do Not Disturb'!"
Way to ruin it for the rest of us heh.
You weren't deadheading to EWR on Sept 15, were you?
ML/NJ
Yeah, I saw that. Doing that is so far down on my list of things I ain’t never gonna do, that even the Hubble Space Telescope can’t make it out.
I’ve seen it multiple times, I know it all turns out OK, but the jewels still react like I just jumped in a very cold swimming pool.
Good for him but nope, not for me.
Bill and Hillary are out shopping for new carpet. Hillary spies one she likes and Bill asks, will it match the drapes?
Hillary looks at her dress and says, it’s perfect!
I do fly there - but on the 15th. I was home - leaving out this weekend though and EWR is on my route.
“In our modern culture, it’s now possible for a flight attendant to get a pilot pregnant.”
In our current culture that has a million to one chance of happening.
Reporter: “Excuse me, may I interview you?”
Man: “Yes!”
Reporter: “Name?”
Man: “Abdul Al-Rhazim.”
Reporter: “Sex?”
Man: “Three to five times a week.”
Reporter: “No no! I mean male or female?”
Man: “Yes, male, female... sometimes camel.”
Reporter: “Holy cow!”
Man: “Yes, cow, sheep... animals in general.”
Reporter: “But isn’t that hostile?”
Man: “Yes, horse style, dog style, any style.”
Reporter: “Oh dear!”
Man: “No, no deer. Deer run too fast. Hard to catch.”
He looked around and saw nothing. He kept on creeping and again heard, "Jesús is watching you."
In a dark corner, he saw a cage with a parrot inside. The burglar asked the parrot, "Was it you who said Jesús is watching me" The parrot replied, "Yes."
Relieved, the burglar asked, "What is your name?" The parrot said, "Clarence."
The burglar said, "That's a stupid name for a parrot. What idiot named you Clarence?" The parrot answered, "The same idiot that named the rottweiler Jesús."
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