Posted on 09/10/2019 3:36:00 AM PDT by sodpoodle
John O'Reilly hoisted his beer and said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, between the legs of me wife !"
That won him the top prize at the pub for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, "I won the prize for the best toast of the night."
She said, "Aye, did ye now. And what was your toast?"
John said, "Here's to spending the rest of me life, sitting in church Beside me wife."
"Oh, that is very nice indeed, John!" Mary said.
The next day, Mary ran into one of John's drinking buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, "John won the prize the other night at the pub with a toast about you, Mary."
She said, "Aye, he told me, and I was a bit surprised myself. You know,he's only been in there twice in the last four years. "Once I had to pull him by the ears to make him come, and the other time he fell asleep".
LOL!!!
It wouldn't have the same impact if it was Guido or Jose.
That’s Hysterical!!!
Yeah in my Italian neighborhood out of about 20 friends, 2 of them were Irish.
Even then they had quotas!!
I’m nearly full blooded Irish. On St. Patty’s Day, everyone in the world can be Irish if they want to be. All are welcome.
Every other day, it is perfectly OK to make fun of them.
The Irish are weirdly self-confident, but we are also so flawed.
It is said the God created whiskey to see that the Irish would never take over the world.
Personally, I think the Irish are one of the lost tribes of Israel.
****God created whiskey to see that the Irish would never take over the world.****
and He gave us laughter to overcome our errors in judgement;)
****God created whiskey to see that the Irish would never take over the world.****
= = = = = = = = = = =
Work = The curse of the drinking class....
Then the ‘old chestnut’ about Schamus falling into the whiskey vat and drowning.
When they recovered the body it was full of welts and bruises and he had blackened eyes.
It was explained that after he tripped and fell in, he would climb out to go the head and have to fight everyone to get back in the vat.
I am an O’C....... so I can ‘say it’
OF course, the greatest slap on the Irish is that almost all fail to recognize the ‘ in ones last name...
Used to be the statement was
I am Irish and proud of it
I am Scothch and fond of it was the ‘topper’.
:)
Seamus you ommadawn.
A long response:
SAINT PATRICK AND IRELAND
Having done diligent research on the matter, consulted with and carefully observed the behavior of those who are descendants of people from the “Auld Sod”, and I am convinced that the following is true and factual :
Everyone knows that St. Patrick’s first encounter with the Irish was when he was captured and sold to them as a slave. After six years as a slave, he managed to escape to what is now France and became a monk.
He later decided that the inhabitants of the “Emerald Island”, a rude and uncouth lot to be sure, needed a bit of civilizing. He therefore returned to his former place of slavery to bring about a change. He was highly successful in converting many of the savage tribes to Christianity but one problem remained to be overcome: Snakes.
Now Patrick in all his time as a slave and as a missionary had never seen a snake in Ireland. However, the indigenous population assured him that they were there! They appeared each day in great numbers to the inhabitants. Patrick was baffled!
Upon further investigation, Patrick determined that, according to the people, the snakes appeared at the approximately the same time each day, late in the afternoon or early evening, and stayed visible until the following morning. Patrick observed the people and noted that their daily routine varied little over time and any differences depended upon the season. Spring, summer and early fall resulted in longer days outdoors tending crops and flocks. During late fall and winter, more time was spent indoors tending to crafts and animals in the barns. Thus, the snakes appeared later in the day during the spring, summer and early fall than during late fall and winter.
Patrick also noted that there were about three whiskey stills for every four (man, woman and child) in the population and that although each still produced enough for the daily needs ten people, there was no on hand inventory of distilled spirits. He also noted that there was a direct correlation between distilled spirit consumption, seasons of the year and snake sightings.
As a result of his observations, Patrick took matters into his own hands and proceeded to destroy 99.9% of the existing stills. There was an immediate decline in snake sightings!! At the same time, this led to other advances in Irish civilization: Irish Clog Dancing evolved from the native clod dancing; Injuries to spectators from erratically aimed darts were reduced significantly; Irish cuisine (Colcannon, Bangers and Mash and Irish Onion Soup) developed.
However, residuals of the old days remain. There are still occasional sightings of snakes. Leprechauns appear now and then. Spectators are still injured by stray darts. It should be noted that those responsible for the above have, in all probability, managed to consume more than their allocated share of distilled and/or brewed spirits.
The true miracle of St. Patrick ridding Ireland of snakes isn’t that the snakes went away but that he remained alive afterwards.
“And may the good Lord hold you in the palm of His hand...while He’s applauding you!!!”
;^)
As a Jew I’ll drink to that:-)
Patrick started out English . . .
That’s the thing about being Irish, anybody can do it.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.