Posted on 09/07/2019 5:50:41 AM PDT by Moonman62
1. Letting them escape responsibility
While you might think chores will weigh your kids down and add to their stress level, pitching in around the house will help them become more responsible citizens.
Doing age-appropriate duties helps them feel a sense of mastery and accomplishment. So whether you tell your child to help with the laundry or take the trash out, responsibilities are opportunities for kids to see themselves as capable and competent.
2. Preventing them from making mistakes
It’s tough to watch your child fail, get rejected or mess up on something. When this happens, so many parents rush in to save kids before they fall. But preventing them from making mistakes robs them of the opportunity to learn how to bounce back.
Whether your child forgets their cleats before a big soccer game or gets a few questions wrong on their math quiz, mistakes can be life’s greatest teacher. Each one is an opportunity for them to build the mental strength they need to do better next time.
(Excerpt) Read more at cnbc.com ...
And complaining that the government does not have a program to take care of her kids.
Yea, I still think being smacked to the ground, called stupid, then told to get up so they can do it again — or it’s variants is pretty much as destructive as it got.
8. Letting the public school teach them about fist f******.
9. Letting the public school introduce them to drag queens.
10. Letting the public school refer them to a dick chopper “doctor” when they say “I like playing with the girls.”
11. Not being able to say no.
12. Letting them watch whatever they want on TV.
13. Voting democrat.
14. Listening to psychologists.
More...?
As little as I respect the profession,
...
The profession, cognitive science, is greatly improved compared to what it used to be.
A person is putting themselves at a disadvantage by not reading up on the subject.
A good bit of the research in cognitive science shows public school instruction is behind the curve ball.
So, #8, handing over your child to public school.
The biggest mischief in the past century has been perpetrated by Rousseau with his doctrine of the goodness of human nature. The mob and the intellectuals derived from it the vision of a Golden Age which would arrive without fail once the noble human race could act according to its whims. The result was, as every child knows, a complete disappearance of the concept of authority in the brains of all mortals. As a result man becomes periodically a prey to naked power.
It’s clear you raised a great kid.
You must be aware of this book:
https://www.amazon.com/Why-Dont-Students-Like-School-ebook/dp/B002DOSB3Y
Not all. My G. Grand nephew is verbally abused by his father. Your worthless, you can’t do anything right, your dumb, lazy etc. Finally hit the child. There are witnesses beyond family. He’s whining he’s homeless and being abused.
Son is a 80 lb 14 yr old with Duchenes MD worse form of MD. Vs the lazy dad who outweighs the kid by over 150 lbs. He also verbally abuses his very sick wife who is in and out of the hospital/ER he refuses to take her when she has a Lupus attack. When he does show up he’s drunk and High on what ever illicit drug he’s on. Her only income is DSSI. As she is late stage Lupus, lung, liver, kidney damage, multiple concussions. By medical estimates she may have 2-3 yrs to live. So arrangements for the 2 kids need to be made for guardianship.
She needs to give her mom Power of Attorney over finances and Medical or this will be another Terri Shivo case. She weighs maybe 100 lbs.
She’s filed for divorce Last Monday idiot lawyer still had not filed the paper work. Judge gave her temp full custody of the 2 kids. The 9 yr old girl wants a gun to sleep with she’s that scared.
He stole every dime from their joint Income tax checking account, changed the locks on the doors, tampered with small things like the toilet she had to get repaired along with changing the locks. Is now selling things he stole from the house of FB. BTW he didn’t feed the household pets so you can add animal abuse. Turns out he’s a Ex Con from Indiana, Drugs since they plea bargained the sentence who knows what else he committed.
These ideas are meaningless outside of a greater philosophy that explains to children both why?, and provides them with alternative means to their goals.
1. Letting them escape responsibility. Incorporate “work smarter, not harder”. For example, before they travel in a job, even from room to room, they need to consolidate their work. Why travel to do one thing when you can do three? And why return unless you have three things to do on your return?
2. Preventing them from making mistakes. You should encourage them to make mistakes, to discover variables and probabilities. If they are right handed, ask them to do it with their left hand, again as example.
3. Protecting them from their emotions. One variation of this is to “not bottle it up”, but to release it all at once, like a baby, so that they are done with it. Likewise, to never assume that they can sympathize or empathize with others, as most people do. If they scowl at you, they are more likely to be thinking about rotating their tires than you.
4. Condoning a victim mentality. Victims require victimizers. So if someone is trying to oppress them in any way, refusing to be oppressed will drain a victimizer dry.
5. Being overprotective. This is a common parental problem, because some protection is essential. Remember the idea that “if you need to defend, it is because you failed to protect.” But there is typically a big gap between protection and defense.
6. Expecting perfection. Attempting perfection is their job for their goals, not the parents goals. They will almost always fail in their efforts because there is no clear definition of perfection, “and the goal posts move”. At the same time a perfect goal is a good thing, lest they become “a Jack of all trades and a master of none.”
7. Punishing, rather than disciplining. “If you want to break the rules, don’t get caught.” Getting them thinking about strategy and tactics gets them organized, and less prone to stupid mischief without a very good goal.
Someone once asked me what was the key of my wife and my parenting success and my quick response was “we gave our three kids the gift of high expectations.”
People have a choice as to who they accept or reject.
The needy in this runs deep.
Yep. Watched an HBO show about the girl who texted a bot and encouraged him to kill himself, and it is apparent the modern view of psychological problems needing some kind of psuedo-medical treatment is crippling a lot of kids.
Constant focus on their self esteem is what lead to the current crop of self obsessed fools.
I take it you didn’t read it - it made sense and told folks not to do the sorts of things that beget today’s snowflakes...
1) Life isn't fair.
Yes - your brother is older so he can do that. You can't. Life isn't fair.
2) Nothing is easy.
I know it is hard. Nothing is easy. You have to work at it.
3) It is always something.
I know you worked hard, and it still didn't work. Keep at it.
It was only later in life that I adopted my fourth rule.
4) God is Sovereign, and He loves us.
Life isn't fair. Nothing is easy. It is always something. But SOMEHOW - God is Sovereign. And He loves us.
I love your 4 rules. They make a lot of sense.
I used to tell my boys, “Life is hard. It’s harder when you’re stupid.” (John Wayne, but I got credit for it in my son’s yearbook when he was a Senior) Granted, you have to follow up with something that instructs or aids them in how to deal with a hard life... Most often involving God in that...
When each of them got married, I gave them the three instructions in my tagline.
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