Posted on 04/23/2019 4:09:47 AM PDT by C19fan
Much like fashion, pet grooming is subjected to trends, with some proving more successful than others. This latest one is seeing pet owners from all over the world show off their creative side, as they transform their feline friends into dinosaurs. The 'dinocut' - or 'dragoncut' as it's also known - is a grooming style where the sides of the cat are given a buzz cut, while the fur on its back is shaved to look like the triangular plates of a stegosaurus or dragon. While the owners seem pleased by how fierce their cats look, sharing proud photos on social media, the kitties themselves look less keen on their Jurassic makeovers.
(Excerpt) Read more at dailymail.co.uk ...
How do you hold the cat still and not get clawed while giving it the haircut? Very carefully.
How To Give A Cat A Bath:
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet.
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for anything they can find. The cat will self-agitate and make ample suds. Never mind the noises that come from your toilet, the cat is actually enjoying this.
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a “power wash and rinse” which I found to be quite effective.
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can and quickly lift both lids.
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet and run outside where he will dry himself.
How To Give A Cat A Pill:
1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat’s mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between knees, holding front and rear paws. Ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse to hold cat’s head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat’s throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap. Make note to buy new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set to one side for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with its head just visible from below spouse’s armpit. Put pill in end of drinking straw, force cat’s mouth open with pencil and blow down drinking straw.
9. Check label to make sure pill you just swallowed is not harmful to humans, drink glass of water to take taste away. Apply Band-Aid to spouse’s forearm and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10. Retrieve cat from neighbor’s shed. Get another pill. Place cat in cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force mouth open with dessert spoon. Flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Get a screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Clean and bandage slashed, bloody arms and face. Apply cold compress to cheek and check records for date of last tetanus shot. Throw bloody, shredded T-shirt away and get a new one from bedroom.
12. Call fire dept to retrieve cat from tree across the road. Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cat’s front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly to leg of dining table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from shed. Force cat’s mouth open with small adjustable wrench. Push pill into mouth followed by large piece of filet steak. Hold head vertically and pour pint of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room; sit quietly while doctor stitches fingers and forearm, and removes pill remnants from right eye. Also, be quite still for your tetanus shot before beginning your 10-day regimen of antibiotics. Stop by furniture shop on way home to order new table.
15. Arrange for vet to make a house call.
Cat Rules:
1) The cat is not allowed on the furniture.
2) Alright, the cat can go on the furniture, but NOT on the kitchen counter.
3) OK, the cat can go on the kitchen counter, too, but just not when I’m preparing meals.
4) Fine, The cat can go wherever it wants, whenever it wants, as long as it doesn’t swat me in the face at 4:30 in the morning, demanding to be fed.
5) Yes, the cat will be fed at 4:30 in the morning.
6) Dogs have masters, cats have staff.
Q: What’s the difference between a dog and a cat?
A: The dog accepts you at face value; the cat wants to see your resume.
Hilarious. I just had to chase TJK, Thomas J. Kitty, around the sofa to apply ear medicine. He caught up to me so I turned around and grabbed him.
Ping!
Wonderful! I’m going to be laughing at this one all morning!
All of the Niteowl77 family's cats have also had the middle initial "J"... it was something we got started doing probably because I watched too many cartoons as a kid.
All of our cats have had a built-in sense of dignity that made them resent being made a spectacle; that being said, their standards and definitions of dignity are not necessarily understandable. They would all stop in mid-stride, plop down and lick their butts in front of any audience without being fazed in the least. If, however, you made their fur look goofy during a brushing or tried to put a cap or costume on them, they resented it with poorly-concealed annoyance.
A "dinosaur/dragon" cut would definitely buy us staff some dandy pay-backs from the current king of the couch.
Poor cats.
Not one looks the least bit happy.
What idiot tries to shave a cat?
Poor kittahs!
That may look amusing but it’s straight-up animal cruelty.
This is just WRONG.
Absolutely disgusting. The Cat is quite beautiful without these idiots using it as a Barbie toy. Let’s see how they would enjoy being involuntarily shaved all over.
FINALLY! Someone in NYC speaking truth!
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