Posted on 03/02/2019 11:31:22 AM PST by xzins
STAMFORD, CT—The pro wrestling world was rocked last week when a new challenger arrived on the WWE circuit weighing in at 890 pounds, possessing 10-inch claws, and the strength to crush bones into gelatin. “He calls himself ‘the Grizzly’ and he is unlike any other wrestler anyone in the WWE has ever come up against,” said wrestler Seth Rollins from his hospital bed after a brief run-in with the massive opponent. What makes the Grizzly so unique? He is a trans-grizzly bear; the man recently decided to identify as human after being born an Alaskan grizzly bear. Along with his new identity, he has embraced his dream of becoming a champion human pro wrestler.
“The Grizzly has stated that his preferred pronouns are he/him/human and so we are going to respect that,” said A.J. Styles, wincing in pain as doctors attempted to realign his spine — another victim of the Grizzly’s punishment.
The Grizzly has torn apart his competition, sometimes literally. There are few remaining wrestlers left who are even willing to attempt a match against him. “He’ll be our star wrestler by, oh I’d say around seven thirty tonight when he gets the championship belt,” said WWE owner Vince McMahon.
“It’s really inspiring to see someone embrace their true self and find victory, not only in the sport they love, but over their own issues with identity,” said wrestler Randy Orton just before going in to have both of his shattered legs amputated. “Good on him.
Bear-Phobic commentary deriding trans-humanism not welcome!
Any arguments suggesting the natural strength of a bear had any impact on the outcome are also not welcomed.
LOL!
Yeah, just wait until they allow him into Olympic women’s wrestling.
What if a trans-female olympic wrestler met a trans-human grizzly?
Bookmark
Haystacks says: “Bring the big furry on, I’m not scared!” Oh wait.....
I don’t know about about grizzlies
But I do know a fellow near Cave Junction Oregon who had a male black bear tear his door off the hinges before the man shot him in the den with a 45-70
The man’s wife and three teen daughters were all having their periods same time as is customary when women cohabitate or even work together
Wildlife Resources Rangers surmised that was a factor
The scent was like a mating call in the air I guess.
Dogs sure as hell pick it up and male dogs will behave boorishly in response
Haven’t laughed like this in a long time. Sad to say we are in a sad state of affairs. It absolutely follows that a 70 year old can legally declare that he/she is 21 years old!!!!!
Gotta love Babylon Bee.
CREDIBLY appropriate..!
Very, very apropos.
Laughed so hard I nearly cried.
Why not have 12 year olds identify as 21 so they can drive, vote, see dirty movies and drink liquor?
Every so often I get the urge to identify as a member of Congress occupying the seat of Maxine Waters, or maybe that of Richard Blumenthal.
Sometimes I think I’d prefer to identify as a non-identified individual working behind a desk at Langley.
Recently I came close to thinking I was the CEO of Planned Parenthood with the urge to shut down the entire company, donating all assets to pro-life groups.
Or a trans-human grizzly that at one time self-identified as a King Kong's stunt double. Ya know, to get the girls.
Can it take on a man-bear-pig????
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