Posted on 02/28/2019 7:53:22 AM PST by gattaca
U.S.—Liberals across the country are pinning all their hopes and wildest dreams on the testimony of a lone, sleazy attorney, sources confirmed Wednesday.
As Michael Cohen arrived to give his testimony before the House, Democrats all over the nation said a prayer to no one in particular that the completely unreliable testimony of a sleazeball lawyer would singlehandedly bring down the Trump presidency, causing the nation to instantly transform into a progressive utopia with free healthcare, college, and cell phones for all.
"I just really need this," said one woman in Portland, Oregon. "It's been a really tough couple years for me under the Trump Reich. I mean, I am making more money than I was before, and I have more full-time employment opportunities, but that's literally oppression because Trump."
Various Twitter accounts with blue checkmarks excitedly tweeted that the suspect testimony of a lone lawyer who until recently associated with the "orange man" they hate so much would bring his whole presidency crashing to the ground.
At publishing time, the nation's conservatives had announced they would be pinning all their hopes and dreams on the moral character of their president, who until recently associated with the sleazy lawyer.
That’s not satire, that’s for real.........................
I, a professional worrier (3 Golds and 1 Silver in Worrying) am not the LEAST BIT worried about this moron’s testimony, or to be honest, the whole hot mess that mueller is throwing out, hoping that something will stick.
They become more pathetic and laughable by the day.
He'll have to do, until the next seedy, sketchy liar floats to the surface.
“I just really need this,” said one woman in Portland, Oregon. “It’s been a really tough couple years for me under the Trump Reich. I mean, I am making more money than I was before, and I have more full-time employment opportunities, but that’s literally oppression because Trump.”
These people are truly insane.
Babylon Bee is 100% satire. Funny thing is, their humor often has more truth than most “news” sources.
It’s satire, but it’s so close to the truth it might as well be real!........................
fooled me completly. Sounds just like something one of ‘em would say!
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