"I bet you're the kind of guy that would .... . ....... .. ... ... and not even have the g........ common courtesy to give them a reach-around!".
Posted on 01/21/2019 8:50:08 AM PST by rey
CHANGCHUN, China — The Chinese Army relieved a decorated army officer and son of legendary Gen. Li of his command position after details were leaked that the promising young officer had “fostered a command climate of toxic masculinity,” sources confirmed today.
While training recruits for war against the invading Hun Army, Capt. Shang reportedly abused his primarily male recruits, asking if their families had sent daughters when he’d asked for sons. Several of Li’s troops have come forward with allegations against him, and many more anonymous complaints have been received by Imperial Headquarters.
Li screamed at his troops to “be a man” no less than nine times, according to eyewitnesses. Several other reports claim he told the trainees he would “make a man out of them.”
Imperial advisor Chi Fu was appointed to investigate the claims, a decision met with criticism. One recruit, Fa Ping, has reported that Chi is equally misogynistic in his regular professional conduct. Despite the criticism and expectations that the investigation would quickly exonerate the captain, Chi claims to have already found staggering evidence of an anti-woman command culture.
“The captain and troops have accused me of squealing like a girl, revealing what is clearly a culture of systemic misogyny,” said Chi Fu. “And that’s only what I experienced directly. I have heard whispers that Shang would be willing to execute a woman simply for joining the army, which I would have no part of. I am completely loyal to the emperor’s intersectional guidance plan and believe that our strength is not in what’s considered ‘manly,’ but rather diversity.”
The toxic masculinity scandal has rocked the Chinese Army particularly hard as it comes on the heels of a sensational report that claims nearly 100 percent of the troops were the same race, dipping readiness far below necessary levels. The one silver lining according to that report was that the army had exactly zero white people, a welcome statistic.
In response to the investigation’s initial findings, Imperial Headquarters has decided to put Li Shang on unpaid administrative leave and send his recruits home with service waivers.
At press time, all parties involved were seen being assimilated into Hun culture.
Very good. For a minute I thought it was real.
Reminds me of how the Germans were incredulous at hearing that Patton was punished for slapping a soldier.
From the site that brought you:
“Air Force can’t figure out why sailor would spend $1,280 on ta”
It looks like satire to me.
Obviously satire. The Chinese would never fire any military leader for toxic masculinity. They would never use that term. And they would promote leaders who embrace masculinity — not fire them.
Free Republic. Enduring home of the satirically challenged.
“I find it consoling that our rivals, the Chinese, are suffering from some of the same PC illness that we are.”
Are you really that gullible??
Do they have to put a big red flashing light yelling “THIS IS SATIRE!! to get a clue?
The sad thing is, it appears you have some company here at FR.
That’s not any different than a US boot camp DI yelling “Listen up, Ladies” to his troops. Never heard of a firing or demotion for that.
There's nothing from Schezuan but steers and queers...
And I had suspected this was satire from the "toxic masculinity" line unless it was just cover for maltreating a Party official's child in training.
Yet.
As an American, I am happy that China has relieved this man from his post and hope they root out any and all masculinity.
Unrecognized SARC.
I don’t see how you got the stuff you posted to pop up.
I find it a little bit scary that you have to tell people this is satire
One of my old taglines: I am so immune to satire that I ate three Irish children after reading Swift's "A Modest Proposal"
You probably have to reload the image.
Sometimes it loads very slowly, as that image at that URL gets hit a very lot, all over the web.
LOL! You eat your enemy’s heart like a girl!
It is a bit sad you have to post satire on a piece about imaginary cartoon characters.
I got burned for posting this once without a satire warning:
https://www.duffelblog.com/2015/02/military-exhonerates-acme-rocket-skate-tragedy/
I think that you could call it satire.
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