Posted on 12/14/2018 5:54:22 PM PST by NRx
SAN FRANCISCO, CA—Amid heated debate in Washington over President Trump's border wall, the Ninth Circuit Court of Appeals has weighed in, ruling that construction on the U.S.-Mexico border wall can proceed, so long as it is "short enough that a pregnant woman carrying a child in each arm could be expected to scale it without difficulty."
While that definition may seem vague to some, the Ninth Circuit's judges further clarified in their decision that "two or three feet high ought to suffice." Contractors working on the wall have been ordered to have a pregnant woman and several children on hand. Each family will be asked to stress-test climbing over the wall every ten feet to ensure all portions of the barrier are equally easy to scale. Should the sample woman have to exert herself too much, construction workers will have to lower that part of the wall.
"We are in full support of President Trump's right to secure our nation's borders, so long as his actions do not cause undue burden on those trying to get into our country illegally," the court wrote in its decision.
The Court further assured Americans that is decision is in keeping with the Constitution, claiming that they googled "What is the Constitution?" and "Constitutional Law for Dummies" several times during deliberations.
Haven’t even read it yet. Please put it in the title next time.
Why do you even need a law degree to become a judge anyways? Just make it all up whenever or with whatever feelings you have moment to moment. Logic and consistency is so yesterday, I mean really now! Like you know! /s
Babylon.....Stopped reading there.
This time I caught myself.
"And Consuela is able to propel herself over the border in a PERFECT TEN performance...followed by her twin sister! And her very youthful-looking mother! And her brother that just underwent recent sex change surgery and is now her new sister! The crowd is on its feet cheering for its newest citizens!"
It’s the Babylon Bee, if someone doesn’t know that is a satire site, well, they’ve been really missing out!
This is always the argument given. It is not a valid argument.
From what I know of the 9th Circus, it sounds like current events!
Lol!
Thanks for posting!
Good satire. Lesson number one; always make fun of your opponents. It sheds light on how ridiculous they are.
I wonder what will happen when people try to storm the gates of heaven. Can you just see CNN or MSNBC try to cover that one?
For the record, I actually looked at the title to check the source.
Because that's what you do when there is reasonable doubt...
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Leave it to the Bee. They do it again.
Kind of like a link to Mad Magazine, I think; anyone needing more than that as a clue that this is more about entertainment and satire than literal news should not click through; different styles of humor for different people.
They have a wonderful ‘bite’ if one really understands the Bible and Christian theology -and a bit of silly stuff (as a bass player, their story about the church bass player who found out that he’d been unplugged from his amp for the past four years crosses all denominational lines) at least several people find them funny. OTOH, there are styles of humor I just don’t care for, to each their own.
I will be sure to include a ‘Satire’ tag next time I post something from them.
BB has taken the satire mantle from The Onjon.
Sadly much of their material is close to the truth, like this one.
FR requires [satire] in the title whrre applicable. I requested for this one.
That's the Ninth Circus, without a doubt.
Let the wall be as tall as you want. But only start building it 3 feet off the ground. LOL.
Also make sure that border patrol agents carry beverage trays for any thirsty border crossers.
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