I did, too -- like you, back in the 80's.
33 years married and 4 now-adult out-of-the-house kids later, I like to say I married the kind of girl every guy wished they were married to!
FReegards!
Posted on 10/16/2018 12:27:13 PM PDT by SeekAndFind
Women are confusing creatures. We know.
The list of what women find attractive in men, and what women don’t find attractive, is long and at times, contradictory.
You might think that figuring them out is impossible…
…and while there isn’t a secret recipe for understanding every woman, there are a few things that almost all women are drawn to.
To break the code, and teach you how to attract women, I’m going to tell you 7 things that women find highly attractive in men and why they do.
Here are 7 things that women find attractive and love in no particular order.
I polled a good handful of my closest girl friends to get their input about what they find attractive…
…and leadership and initiative was the first quality that the majority of them named.
Women look for a guy who will go after what he wants (this will come back into play with quality #5) but is also humble and can admit when he makes a mistake.
Guys who lead the way and have a plan make women feel cared for and protected.
Women also love men who are self-starters; who make a name for themselves or are changing something in the world because of a dream they have.
Now:
One of the most attractive things a man can have is the ability to follow-through on what he says he’ll do.
This is especially important when it comes to making plans with a woman.
If a man says he’ll call, and he doesn’t…
…he’s losing points with that woman already… Even if he “forgot.”
Nothing is more unattractive than a man who is all talk, no action. Your words hold value to women so it’s important to not say things if you have no intention of backing them up.
Be a leader and take initiative
Have you ever seen a comedian’s wife?
She’s usually a babe, right? Guys like Will Ferrell.. Jack Black… Jason Sudeikis… they all have absolutely stunning wives.
Now:
I bet these guys have fantastic personalities and are all-around nice guys…
…but I also bet a big reason these ladies were originally drawn to these men was because of their sense of humor.
Knowing how to attract women is as simple as being able to make her laugh.
Now:
We’re all born with different senses of humor and with different things that we find funny. You aren’t always going to make every woman in the room laugh… and that’s okay!
There will be a woman out there whose sense of humor you will connect with yours, so don’t be afraid to show your sense of humor
Oh, and as an bonus tip:
Don’t take yourself so seriously. Don’t be afraid to laugh at yourself.
If you spill ketchup on your shirt, make a little joke about it, laugh at yourself and soon she’ll be giggling too.
A man with a passion for life and a drive to pursue his dreams is extremely attractive to us, women.
You might think women find men in bands attractive because of the “bad boy” persona, but in reality, it’s about their passion for music and their ambition to achieve their goals.
We like men who are athletes or hard-working businessmen for the same reason:
Passion and ambition are instant turn-on’s.
You don’t need to be a famous rock god or a multi-million-dollar lawyer to attract women, either. Choose a hobby, career, or dream that gets you excited and pursue it.
Even if you’re a beginner or are just entering a new career field, the passion you have for that thing will shine through and instantly attract women.
Think about it:
As a man, don’t you like a woman who has interests she’s passionate about and goals she’s working towards?
Of course you do!
It’s the same for us, women.
Seeing a man who’s pursuing his dreams wholeheartedly allows us to see just how wholeheartedly he would pursue other things – like a girl he’s interested in, for example.
Be passionate about what you do
First impressions are everything and one of the things women find attractive is a man who can dress well.
Being well-dressed and well-groomed isn’t just about looking your best:
It’s about feeling your best, too.
To women, a man who is well-groomed and well-dressed takes pride in his appearance and takes himself seriously.
You don’t have to have a particular style (like outdoorsy or urban) to attract women. You don’t even have to change a ton about your own style.
You just need to look clean and comfortable.
For example:
I love a man with good shoes, a plaid or flannel button-down, and a good-fitting pair of dark wash jeans.
My best friend prefers a more hipster look, with her man in tight skinny jeans and his shirt buttoned all the way to the top.
There really is someone for everyone, and a sense of style isn’t about adopting a particular style of dress…
…it’s more about taking the time to look good and feel good about what you are wearing.
And please:
Don’t wear anything that has a ridiculous catchphrase on it.
Five years ago your frat brother thought your “Female Body Inspector” t-shirt was hilarious.
But believe me, women aren’t amused by it. In fact, we generally roll our eyes at “that guy”.
Oh, and bad body odor is a huge turn off!
Have your own sense of style
This is a tricky one.
There’s a very fine line between confidence and arrogance.
Confidence is one of the top things women find attractive in men, but arrogance is one of the biggest turnoffs.
To come across confident, don’t be afraid to share your accomplishments, but stop just short of bragging.
Men who’re confident are more than happy to tell a woman about their recent promotion, but will quickly change the topic to ask their lady a question.
This shows us that you aren’t just interested in talking about yourself all night but you are confident in knowing who you are.
A man who’s confident is sexy to women. A man who can’t shut up about his high school track record, on the other hand, is not.
Be confident, not arrogant
Being a good listener is a big deal to women because they want to feel heard, valued and respected.
A man who doesn’t have good listening skills can come off as cold, disrespectful and uncaring.
Ask questions about what she’s saying. Not only does asking questions show that you’re actively listening, but it allows your brain to better store the information she’s sharing.
Storing that information, and bringing it back up later, is also an instant way to up your attractiveness to a woman you’re interested in.
I knew my boyfriend was a keeper when he would ask me questions about specific students I was teaching that I had told him stories about.
Not only did he remember the names of the students, but he began remembering their personalities as well.
It was a signal that he valued what I was saying and what I did for a living just as much as he valued me.
You have two ears and one mouth for a reason
You know what serves as a great bait for women?
Pets.
A man with a dog is instantly more attractive to women. Women are attracted to a man with a pet because it shows that he’s kind and empathetic to the needs of another living creature.
If you can take care of a dog, the odds significantly increase that you can take care of her. That might sound crazy, but it is something women subconsciously take note of.
Having a pet also shows a serious level of commitment and responsibility to a potential girlfriend.
So, what happens if you aren’t a pet guy?
Don’t sweat it – this isn’t a deal-breaker! What women are really looking for is a guy who’s kind and compassionate, which can be shown in a numerous ways.
For example:
I love a man who holds doors for people (both women and men). To me, it’s a sign that he’s thinking about the needs of others, and that’s an attractive trait.
Bonus tip:
Women pay attention to how men treat two sets of people:
If a man is disrespectful to either one of these sets of people, it’s an immediate turn-off.
Man and his best friend
Yes, women might be confusing to men…
But when you begin to understand what women find attractive in men – you’ll know exactly how to attract them
I’ve shed some light on what ladies find most attractive in the men they meet, so next time you’re out on the town trying to find a suitable girl, remember:
-Be confident
-Show your sense of humor
-Take initiative
-Listen intently
-Dress well
-Share your passions
-Be compassionate
If you’re conscious of these 7 things, you’ll have no trouble finding a great girl to spend time with.
Keenly observed!
The old jokes are often the best.
Mine didn’t leave. She made me leave. She got the house. And the kids. I’m still footing the bill.
You are obviously a lying troll.
(I keed, I keed!)
Lucky bastard.
I did, too -- like you, back in the 80's.
33 years married and 4 now-adult out-of-the-house kids later, I like to say I married the kind of girl every guy wished they were married to!
FReegards!
Same here, only I got the kids and am not footing the bill. I really did luck out.
You are the most attractive and intelligent woman in the world.
Money, looks, and charm. Nothing else matters to women
You must have a better lawyer. Or else you don’t live in California.
Did it without lawyers. Don’t underestimate the narcissism of women.
She was more worried about what her three teenage kids would think of further ruining their dad. Used that against her and it worked.
Kids still hate her, but it cost me less.
What a bunch of romanticized moonsong. Women like those men because they know those men will treat them like crap. And any woman who throws herself at some fake rock-n-roll "idol" secretly wants to be treated like crap.
I find that list highly offensive.
You forgot ass and legs.
It’s all about validation. If you know how to validate a woman, both of you will be happy for life. Been married for 29 years to the same woman. Getting, “I am so pissed off at (insert name here) for doing (insert what that person did here)” has me responding with, “I can hear the frustration in your voice. Is there anything I can do?”
She appreciates that I am listening and actually gets what she is saying. (I have no clue what she is saying) A kiss on the cheek, a hand touching the small of her back and a smile and I am set for a night of nookie.
It has worked for 29 years and I am not about to try something else.
That list seems like a generalization-more like instructions for being a person that people will like rather than making a guy into a babe-magnet-but every little bit helps, I suppose...
As long as the guy is an alpha and a real man-muy macho, honest, fit, hardworking-a fine cowboy-then the plata doesn’t matter to me-I make my own living, and like my independence. My guy is a Marlboro man type-just right for me. Also, too many guys my age are secretly selfish wusses-they want a woman to be a purse or a nurse-since I’m not either one, I chose a blue collar cowboy who owns a home based business and also has a job that has him working on the road 4-5 days per week-no chance he will want to be dependent, any more than I will-we are equals and partners-good match.
I do cook for my man-sometimes we cook together-paleo/organic diet is what we both like and grew up with. We both work out 3 X per week, do physical jobs-I weigh the same as I did at 17-I’m 5’8 1/2” tall; 106 lbs-I’m not going to outgrow my size 4-5 wardrobe at this late date-even if I could afford a new one-I respect myself and expect my man to respect himself, too-mate selection priorities are very different when people are past the age to reproduce...
RE: My guy is a Marlboro man type-just right for me.
Marlboro? Does he smoke? :)
Wow, and you’re a guy?? You actually DO understand women. Kudos
Allow me to translate this from a P.R. / P.C. speech code to what they really mean in a woman’s mind:
7. Leadership and Initiative
Really means: Alpha male. Not a whimp.
Not just a man who comfortable with aggression (A very bad word in psycho babble, but we all know women like it) in the right times, but this is also code lingo for men who are ambitious and takers; IE, borderline sociopaths (which is also a problem, specially when they cross that line in their relationship). But we will get to ambition later, because that crosses over to another one listed.
6. A Sense of Humor
What this really means: He can put up with her BS, and he can put up with life’s BS and make light of it. Women don’t want to have to deal with a sourpuss or a crab-ass. If you can make her laugh or smile when she otherwise wouldn’t be having fun, you’re a perfect little performer. Ops, sorry for the cynicism. This is actually one of my better personal attributes, but I don’t mind calling a clown a clown, even if he is in the mirror.
5. Passion and Ambition
What this really means: You’re not a deadbeat. You produce in life, and you produce in the bedroom (and where ever else it’s suitable at the time). Not much more to say here.
4. A Sense of Style
What this really means: Learn how to show without being a flamboyant. Women want to be proud of how a man looks. Of course grooming has fads, but you’re supposed to look like you care, but not look like a peacock. heh.
3. Confidence
What this really means: You get things done. It’s really just the same thing as #7 and #5 but this has a social spin. You don’t wilt in the face of chaos, confrontation, or burden. These are all hybrids and offshoots of a woman’s desire for a man who takes care of stuff. If I were a feminist I’d be cringing right now.
2. Good Listening Skills
What this really means: Empathy. See #1
If you don’t have empathy, you’re not going to listen and you wont know what you are listening to when you try. Sorry. Let’s cut the BS out of these.
1. Kindness and Empathy
What this really means: You’re not just giving, but you know what to give. You figure it out. Most guys know this is a hugely attractive attribute and they fake it when they first meet and first start dating women. It seems to me from my experience observing people (all people, but were’t talking about men here specifically I believe) that people fake empathy and kindness quite rather well when they have to. It’s really sad. Most women should trust their gut when they are getting lots of compliments and lots of gifts but something doesn’t seem quite on. Your spider senses wont go off when someone has real empathy. Listen to them.
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