Posted on 10/13/2018 9:33:25 AM PDT by Sarcasm Factory
Yeah, all the recent news about leftists rising to the occasion with their witchcraft weirdness has provoked me into making up some totally stupid jokes that will lower your intelligence by a few points. You've been warned!
Question: "What dark witchcraft do leftists use to torture basic arithmetic so that jacking up taxes by $32 trillion over the next ten years to pay for 'Medicare for All' will somehow 'save money'?"
Answer: "A 'cackle-later'."
Get it, huh? Huh? It works on two painful levels if you think about it! Hee-hee-hee!
Question: "What's the difference between a leftist and a starved hyena?"
Answer: "Almost none -- both of them will crunch your bones if you let them, and they both have weird barking laughs, but hyenas balk at slurping up excrement and coughing it back out in an explosive spray of pure nastiness."
Okay, that was more mean than funny, but you know it's true!
"A leftist and a horse walked into a bar. After two quick drinks, the horse started kicking and snorting wildly. The bartender asked the horse why it was so upset. The horse neighed back, 'Those drinks had a real kick!' The bartender did a facepalm but let that slide, and the horse trotted off unsteadily into a corner to nurse another horse-sized Haymaker cocktail."
"Soon afterwards, the leftist started kicking and frothing at the mouth after sipping from its first glass. The bartender cautiously asked the leftist why it was acting like that. The leftist wiped away some of the foaming spittle from its mouth and said, 'That drink raped my tongue! You must be a Republican. I'm gonna sue and take it all the way to the Supreme Court!' The bartender replied, 'Good luck with that, buddy.'"
Badda-badda-boom. You're welcome, and please put down those rotten vegetables. I'm outta here! ^___^
time flies like an arrow, fruit flies like a banana
Don’t ask me
All I know are Little Johnny jokes
And they are inappropriate for this forum
Very
From Bad Jokes:
Are you looking for bad jokes and one liners? Then you come to the right place. I have compiled a great list that really shows how bad jokes can be. They are so bad that they actually funny. Can you find the funniest and the worst of them all?
I bought some shoes off of a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with but I’ve been trippin’ all day.
What do you call an Argentinian with a rubber toe?
Roberto
Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken joke wasn’t invented yet.
Cashier in the grocery: “Would you like the milk in a bag”?
Man: “No, just leave it in the carton”.
Why did the golfer wear two pairs of pants?
In case he gets a hole in one!
The squirrel says "hey elephant, what are you doing?"
The elephant replies "I'm climbing this tree to eat some pears!"
"You dummy," sayeth the squirrel, "this is a pine tree... there's no pears up here."
The elephant says "I know, I brought my own!"
That bit sounds like a great joke to tell the kids, complete with silly sound effects like triumphant elephant trumpeting and squirrelly squeaking and the crashing and booming as the whole tree falls down. ^_^
Why did the chicken cross the road? To show the possum how.
You are walking downtown. All of a sudden 15 Antifa leftists dressed in clown suits jump out of a van and start attacking you. How do you defend yourself?
You go for the jugular.
Horse walks into a bar....bartender says “Why the long face”???
I know...but it’s always funny!!!
How do you piss off democrat card players???.....You Trump ‘em!!!
John Kerry walks into a bar
The bartender says “not this horse’s ass again”.
How do you piss off [D]emocrat card players???.....You Trump ‘em!!!
(Sorry about that — I've written semi-professionally and can't help but be a nit-picky editor on occasion.)
A Grouchoism, I believe.
A grasshopper goes into a bar. The bartender says “I have a drink named after you.”
The grasshopper does a double-take. “You have a drink called an Irving?”
A guy walks into a bar.
Another guy walks into the same bar.
The next guy ducks.
What do you get when you cross an elephant with peanut butter?
Either peanut butter that never forgets, or an elephant that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
How do you get four elephants in a Volkswagen?
Two in the front and two in the back!
OK, now how do you get four giraffes in a Volkswagen?
You take the elephants out and you put the giraffes in.
Why isn’t it a good idea to play Uno with a Mexican? Because they steal the GREEN CARDS! Nyuk! Nyuk! Nyuk!
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