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Falsely Accused, My Own Story
Facebook ^ | September 30th, 2018 | Charles McFarling

Posted on 10/03/2018 10:28:49 AM PDT by PresidentFelon

Concerning the maelstrom that is the Judge Kavanaugh confirmation battle, and to those of you that believe any uncorroborated accusation made by a woman should be believed simply by virtue of her gender, I have a story for you.

I have posted below a message I received from the Hendricks County Courts warning me that the protective order I filed on a woman two years ago was about to expire, in fact it expired yesterday. This woman is someone I met more than four years ago, about six months before going through a divorce after my wife of 20 years ran away with another man.

In mid to late 2015, while sitting in Legends Pub and Grill in Avon, a close friend introduced me to a woman who was half my age. I sat and talked with her for nearly an hour and a half, most of that time spent trying to help her deal with some issues from her childhood that she told me about and were obviously troubling her. Anyone that knows me knows I spend a lot of time trying to help other people because that is my nature. Unfortunately, my own psychology is that of a rescuer ... which also makes me a potential victim of a person like I'm about to describe to you.

This younger woman's father had run away from her mother and her four children and they eventually found themselves homeless, living in cars, sleeping beside buildings and eventually homeless shelters, at least that's what she told me. The experiences she described were awful and I had great empathy for her and what she had to endure. I left after a nice discussion with her and didn't see her for sometime.

Eventually I ran into her at Legends and she started pursuing me... and would hit on me when she came into the bar. On several occasions I made it clear to her that I was married and asked her to stop flirting with me as it was easy to tell she was trying to pull me into a relationship with her. She was a very attractive and desirable woman, but my own personal integrity and love for my wife would not allow me to destroy my marriage, my own dignity, nor hurt my wife in any way.

Nearly 8 months after I met her, and about two months after the separation from my wife, I ended up in the same bar as her on a Friday night and allowed her to seduce me. This was the beginning of a 16 month relationship from hell that ended up like a story straight out of the movie Fatal Attraction.

During the course of the next 6 months she love-bombed me into submission and I fell for her. She was young, very attractive, seemed to like everything I liked and appeared to be my soulmate, something we are all looking for. She was perfect and... that is exactly what she wanted me to think.

You see, I had met a "psychopath", a very disordered woman who suffered from a whole range of behavioral manifestations associated with Cluster B, Axis 2 personality disorders. Her symptomatologies were of a person suffering from narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) with comorbid behavioral characteristics assigned to to antisocial personality (APD), borderline personality disorder (BPD) and two or more other personality disorders as defined by the 5th edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual on Mental Health (DSM-5).

After a few months of bliss I realized there was something not quite right with her as she started behaving erratically and accusing me of things I would never think of doing. As the relationship proceeded her behavior became more extreme and she became violent. During the course of the relationship she committed violent acts against me at least 15 to 18 times.

She would start conflicts for no reason, often late at night while we were laying in bed. She would often hit me and claw my body or my face leaving deep scratches on my torso and cheeks. She also would occasionally throw things at me, once hurling a cell phone at me from about 3 feet away which fractured my cheek and gave me a black eye which lasted for nearly a month. She was extremely violent and demonstrated almost no guilt or remorse related to her actions. To her disordered mind, I deserved it.

But much more painful was the emotional abuse. She would call me names, frequently accuse me of cheating, become angry and deride me for any little thing, start arguments and become terribly violent and virtually drive me crazy with her behavior. The most disheartening and frustrating part was, she truly believed things for which there was no evidence or basis-in-fact. It was mind-boggling.

Then it REALLY got bad in what is called the Discard Phase.

There are three phases of a relationship with an extreme narcissist; Idealize, Devalue and Discard. it is surprising how formulaic their behavior is and all of them follow these same three steps, some going through all three phases within a period of 3 to 6 months and some doing it over a period of 20 years or more.

People with these types of disorders can become very, very cruel. They are very vengeful and will pay you back for not living up to their unrealistic ideals of perfection that you must demonstrate.... or for rebelling from their attempts to control you. Her way to pay me back was to do such things as text me to tell me she had sex with another man or accuse me of being a closet homosexual having affairs with other men. It was crazy and made no sense, but that was my life from which there seem to be no escape... because they have this uncanny ability to control you. Extreme narcissists are masters of manipulation. Once they get their claws in you it's hard to get away, for many reasons I'm not going to explain right now, it is simply hell on Earth.

I guess it was the stories of her terrible childhood and my own codependency issues that allowed me to rationalize her behavior and forgive her as I tried to save her from herself. I was determined not to abandon her as her father had...and prove to her that I was different...hoping that she would realize that I truly loved her and would not give up on her. I believed she was testing me because she is sure that everybody will eventually abandon her and I was determined to prove her wrong by enduring anything she threw at me.

I couldn't have been more wrong or more stupid!

Most of us believe that everybody thinks the same way we do, has empathy and respect for others and would never harm someone else. I was quite naive in my assumptions and I simply didn't understand what I was dealing with. You see, I was in love with a monster. A person with little empathy, conscience, remorse or guilt. The reality is, I was in a relationship with a malignant narcissist or dark triad personality and a very dangerous person who threatened to kill me more than once.

I kept running away from her, sometimes for as much as a month, but she kept pursuing me and for some reason I would always go back. She believed she he owned me and that is exactly how an extreme narcissist thinks; you're but an object to elevate their status, entertain them or bring them pleasure, not a human being. You are but an extension of them and they own you and they always will.

This is what I've learned after studying Cluster B personality disorders for the last three years and learning everything I could possibly learn about her mental illness. I studied her psychology because I needed to understand why she acted the way she acted and why I let her break down every boundary I had and treat me that way. I could now give a very long and detailed dissertation on their psychopathy and the behaviors you should expect from one of them... and it is some very scary stuff.

After sixteen months of mostly terrible, haunting misery, I finally ran away from her on September 10th of 2016. Eight days later, on a Sunday while sitting at home, my doorbell rang. It was a Hendricks County Sheriff's Department officer holding a restraining order which he handed me and explained was filed by my tormentor at the Hendricks County Courthouse. She had gone to the courthouse on the 14th, 4 days after I ran away from her, and signed an affidavit that claimed I had "unwanted sex" with her, was stalking her and had threatened her.

I virtually laughed when the Hendricks County Sheriff handed me the restraining order because it was so ironic and unbelievable that it was I who was being accused of potential crimes. After all, It was her who had victimized me, stolen from me, committed violent acts against me... and I'm the one being persecuted by the courts and the one whose good name was being besmirched and dragged through the mud.

Luckily for me I had saved all text messages and instant messages she had ever sent me, over 15,000 of them between us in less than a year-and-a-half. The next week I went down to the courthouse and filed a restraining order against her, listing nine different incidents when she had committed violence against me. I also included photographs I had taken of injuries to my face and body that she inflicted on me. The court immediately placed a restraining order on her and notified her by mail. At the same time I filed a petition for a hearing to have the restraining order on me dropped because there were no grounds for such.

After spending nearly two weeks building a case and organizing 22 exhibits including text messages that clearly showed she lied on the affidavit she filed with the court to obtain the restraining order on me, we went to a hearing.

Anyone who's ever been to Family Court in Hendrick County knows what I now know, there is little justice in that court. Despite all the evidence I provided and the lack of any evidence on her part, the judge upheld both our restraining orders and I was now not only a victim of a psychopath but also a victim of the court system.

So, to anyone that wants to tell me or argue that a woman's is always to be believed when she claims a sexual assault or other crimes against her person, you are going to be vigorously and forcefully challenged on that illogical assertion. There is absolutely no right to an assumption of truthfulness or honesty based on your gender. The scars on my body and soul scream otherwise and I will not be silent in the face of such an outrage that are the attacks on Judge Kavanaugh by a woman who has waited 35 years to make such damaging assertions and provided absolutely no forensic or corroborative evidence to substantiate her claims.

Everyone deserves the presumption of innocence until facts prove otherwise. Those of you that refuse to do so need to take a look in the mirror and ask yourself what you've become. The treatment of Judge Kavanaugh by the Democrats, the media and their followers is despicable, disgusting and an affront to all that is decent about this country and I will not be silent... and you should not be either.


TOPICS: Health/Medicine
KEYWORDS: ford; kavanaugh; women
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To: lilypad
I dated one of these women. I too spent months reading up on NPD. My NPDer I met on a dating website back in 2012, ONLY 2 months out of a divorce. I was real lonely and hadn't had any physical affection of a consistent sort in 7-10 years. I met L and to say she was a bombshell was an understatement. All 5'9" DD gorgeous. She did what the OP said, loved bombed me, modeled me, was careful to listen for my weak points. The honeymoon lasted about 6 months and it began with a fight, she screamed profanities at me and threw dish from the sink. I wrote it off as her being a passionate hothead. Well I went 3 years and over 15 rounds. I was hot mess back then and hot brunette who gave me (percieved)worth and lots of hot sex was worth the hassle. She was uber successful and lavished expensive vacations and gifts on me. When it was good it was good and when it was bad it was hell.

She gave me whatever I wanted in the bedroom(I mean whatever, threesomes, etc.) and when she was acting normal lavished praise on me. When I tried to correct somethings in the relationship by talking about them, she got angry beyond angry and then like the author, she was looking to phase me out. It got awful until I had enough. The breakup was horrible and vicious. Her sending me horrid text messages and insults about my manhood, how I was with my kids, my career. this continued into a year after our breakup. I was not quite right after that relationship. NPDers leave a toll psychologically on you. It stays with you. I can say after lots of therapy and being and loving myself I can say it got much better.

21 posted on 10/03/2018 11:06:41 AM PDT by pburgh01 (Negan all the MSM)
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To: PresidentFelon

At least you now have these types figured out. Good for you.


22 posted on 10/03/2018 11:07:44 AM PDT by WASCWatch
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To: mongrel
Asking for a friend?

Fortunately, I married a very sane one instead. Dodged that bullet.

23 posted on 10/03/2018 11:12:21 AM PDT by PapaBear3625 ("Those who can make you believe absurdities, can make you commit atrocities." -- Voltaire)
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To: PapaBear3625

Yes, sanity is preferred in a marriage partner. You and I are both very fortunate.


24 posted on 10/03/2018 11:16:13 AM PDT by mongrel
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To: PresidentFelon

In today’s environment more than ever before, it’s become clear some women are psychopaths. To see a good movie about a women who is cheated on and takes revenge, see “Gone Girl.”

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QZsF7IRTgMQ


25 posted on 10/03/2018 11:16:29 AM PDT by CedarDave (Chrissy Blasey Ford and Stormy Daniels are planning a tour and calling it the "Nuts & Sluts Tour.")
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To: PresidentFelon

Wow! Describes my ex wife to a tee. He also, bravely shows his weakness that allowed the tragedy to continue. I am guilty of the same and it took 10 years to break away. Feeling lucky I only lost 10 years and a bunch of money.


26 posted on 10/03/2018 11:20:42 AM PDT by ArtDodger
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To: pburgh01

I am so glad I wasn’t born male. We have some coo coo friends. I say to my husband how’d you like to be married to that? My daughter works for a dating site. You can’t believe some of these people she has to try to write about and make them seem “attractive” and normal.


27 posted on 10/03/2018 11:22:41 AM PDT by lilypad
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To: CedarDave

Well of course some men are psychopaths too. That knife absolutely cuts both ways.

It’s convenient to have categories and shortcuts when talking about behavior patterns and “narcissist” is as good as any but really it’s just old fashioned evil. Sinful.

They say “don’t stick your d In crazy” and thats fine but really don’t stick it in EVIL.


28 posted on 10/03/2018 11:29:35 AM PDT by Persevero (Democrats haven't been this nutty since we freed their slaves.)
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To: PresidentFelon

I never believed a bar was a good launching point for a relationship.


29 posted on 10/03/2018 11:30:18 AM PDT by ScottinVA (Liberals, piss off. That is all.)
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To: PresidentFelon

I never believed a bar was a good launching point for a relationship.


30 posted on 10/03/2018 11:30:38 AM PDT by ScottinVA (Liberals, piss off. That is all.)
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To: PresidentFelon

I’m having trouble feeling sorry for the writer.


31 posted on 10/03/2018 11:39:30 AM PDT by LydiaLong
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Comment #32 Removed by Moderator

To: PresidentFelon

Advice I got from a coworker, when he met a woman I was seeing:

Don’t draw to an inside straight; don’t tug on Superman’s cape; and never get involved with a woman who has more problems than you do.


33 posted on 10/03/2018 11:43:55 AM PDT by VietVet
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To: Pilgrim's Progress

Kind f blame shifting there, eh?


34 posted on 10/03/2018 11:45:12 AM PDT by metmom ( ...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith......)
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To: All

I’m not trying to be an Internet tough guy, but how do you NOT beat the holy hell out of someone who is INTENTIONALLY trying to destroy not only YOUR life, but the life of your family by spreading lies?


35 posted on 10/03/2018 11:49:00 AM PDT by Maverick68
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To: lilypad
He should have stayed out of that bar , he knew he would see her there after he felt she was coming on to him.

That was my first thought as well. Why the hell did he go back. The subconscious mind is a powerful thing I guess.

36 posted on 10/03/2018 11:56:25 AM PDT by Bloody Sam Roberts (Get in the Spirit! The Spirit of '76!)
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To: PresidentFelon

Since the psycho ex accused me of being a white supremacist an a child molester (based on an internet search that found someone with a similar name, that person now in a Federal prison) 21 years ago, I have avoided relationships. It’s risk avoidance. I am not talking about being commitment phobic, it’s about real legal risk.
I had to move to another state for 12 years.


37 posted on 10/03/2018 12:07:14 PM PDT by Fred Hayek (The Democratic Party is now the operational arm of the CPUSA)
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To: PresidentFelon

I have been accused of “sexual harassment” twice.

Once, a disgruntled ex-employee filed racial discrimination and sexual harassment suits against the officers of our company, of which I was one. She was a former GLOW, looked like a man, had physically threatened us, and had a website full of naked and half-naked pictures of herself. Our lawyer literally laughed.

The second was just stupid. Our receptionist came in late Monday morning. We had this conversation:

She - “I had a rough weekend. My neck is really sore.”

Me - “What were you doing?”

She gets this shocked look on her face and runs to the owner to say that I made an inappropriate comment. An internal investigation ensued. I was questioned. She was questioned. The outcome was that I was asked to sign a letter apologizing to her. I objected to the wording in the first draft (that had me admitting to saying that I had said something in appropriate) and wrote my own, where I apologized if something I said had offended her.

Anyway...I sympathize with Judge Kavanaugh. It is a bitch to be accused of something you didn’t do. It is worse when that accusation carries a stigma all it’s own.


38 posted on 10/03/2018 12:18:02 PM PDT by Crusher138 ("Then conquer we must, for our cause it is just")
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To: metmom

Metmom, I caught that comment, too. LOL He did not want to admit he was simply waiting for ANY old excuse... And when it brought on a nightmare of a dangerous type wouldn’t admit to picking up that box out of his own free will. Well, it’s hard to accept the messes we humans bring upon ourselves, often, isn’t it? Still, while she was a dangerous woman he should have admitted to being so weak in controlling his bodily functions. Sigh.


39 posted on 10/03/2018 12:30:11 PM PDT by Notthereyet (Notthereyet)
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To: Crusher138

I see and agree where you’re coming from. The few times I’ve apologized I’ve been EXTREMELY limited in what cause I have apologized. It’s amazing how small statements can be taken out of context either unwittingly or on purpose. Unwittingly done can result in damages and often a contrite person who started an issue not realizing there was no issue. The one done on purpose...my opinion is to place those folks under jails and deprive them of any financial support system at all.


40 posted on 10/03/2018 12:34:54 PM PDT by Notthereyet (Notthereyet)
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