Posted on 05/12/2018 1:35:10 PM PDT by SamAdams76
People like to eat crackers and crackers have little pinholes in them. There is a reason for that. For without these little holes, the crackers will not bake correctly.
The holes allow steam to escape without bubbling up and exploding during the baking process.
Consider the Cheez-it cracker. It has a solitary hole in the middle of each little cracker. See how it bulges all around? But remember, the edges of the Cheez-it cracker are full of holes because Cheez-it crackers are baked in large sheets that are then cut along the perforated edges.
So it's not really the one hole in the center but holes all around each cracker on those perforated edges.
The process of putting holes in crackers is known as "docking" and with a larger surface area, crackers need more docking to successfully bake in a commercial environment.
The first cracker was made in 1792 by somebody named John Pearson. Pearson was from Newburyport, Massachusetts, a sea-faring town that was full of sailors who liked to go to taverns and drink lots of ales and cider. Pearson was looking to make a type of biscuit that would last longer than traditional sailor’s biscuits without spoiling. He eventually mixed just flour and water, baked it, and called it “Pearson’s Pilot Bread”. This later became known as “hardtack” or “sea biscuit”. This type of biscuit became incredibly popular among sea-fairing folk due to its long shelf life without spoiling. If you have a box of saltines that have been sitting in your pantry for a few years, go ahead and open a sleeve. You will still find them crisp and fresh!
Then you have the Graham cracker. The Graham cracker was invented by a stern man named Sylvester Graham, who was very much against masturbation because he felt that the quality sperm in a man's body was finite and that excessive ejaculation of that sperm would result in inferior children. For married men, he only wanted them having sex with their wives once a month so as to maintain the quality of the sperm. So he invented a cracker made from unrefined flour so as to curb sexual desires in a man. This ended up being the graham cracker that we still find in supermarkets today. But I think that Sylvester would greatly disapprove of making sandwiches of them with melted chocolate and marshmallows.
Still, even Graham crackers had to have those little holes in them.
Then you have the Ritz Cracker, a buttery round cracker made by Nabisco during the Depression to give people a "taste of the good life". But even the Ritz crackers had to have holes in them. See the holes in the Ritz cracker? There are many recipes even to this day that call for Ritz crackers.
There are many other popular crackers out there that have holes. Like Goldfish crackers. See, they have holes too. But their holes are disguised as an eye and a smile. A goldfish smile. But not all the way through holes like in the other crackers. As a result, Goldfish crackers are much bulgier and not as flat as many of the others.
***If you have a box of saltines that have been sitting in your pantry for a few years, go ahead and open a sleeve. You will still find them crisp and fresh! ***
Ah, no. They will definitely smell “old” and rancid, yet still edible if you can gag them down. I’ve thrown out many a rancid package of crackers.
I once worked at the Stop & Shop Bakery by North Station in Boston. Did so for about a year. The facility was I was told, the original first big home of the National Biscuit Company, makers of crackers, mostly, near the beginning.
I was never certain if I believed the legend, but I do know that the building was made around some seriously big ovens. They were inherent to the then 6 story structure. Those ovens were inert when I worked there, but they definitely held that building up.
I have no way of really knowing the details of the history of Nabisco, but I was told things.
These days that building is a 12 Story luxury Condo place, just next to the old (and new) Boston Garden.
Home made hard tack is a great SHTF food. It’s easy to make, cheap, and keeps almost forever. If you vac seal it it will most likely outlive you.
L
Best damn cracker!
(they be wirm holz in him now)
I think I get it...”Putin’ On The Ritz”!
Cheez-it taste like neither real cheese or real crackers.
Interesting. I bought a case of “Pilot Biscuits” for ‘the stash’ some years ago. Had to order them from a company that mainly ships foods to remote grocery stores in Alaska; couldn’t find them reasonably priced anywhere else.
Vacuum sealed them all, so they should be good for another five - ten years.
As little as I like to cook, I wouldn’t mind trying to make my own hardtack.
It’s true. White Castle started in the ‘20s and that’s what he did for that very reason.
Have zero idea what Krystal is.
I made crackers once many years ago. The holes were made with a dinner fork. In a factory, I am sure, an aparratus descends to poke holes while also cutting the dough into individual crackers.
Cheez-its are fantastic. I didn’t know they were so good.
I thought it was so you could throw them like stars.
I once took down 12 ninjas with a single package of Saltines.
You’ll never read about it, of course. If any of my IMF team were captured or injured, the secretary would disavow any knowledge of our actions.
Now, all members of my IMF team carry Saltines. With sharpened edges.
LOLOL
I will be eyeing my Graham crackers suspiciously going forward...
Yes, I’m afraid they are. You can air drop them into Tomato Soup.
Cheez-Nips - not as good but cheaper. Had several in the prepper supplies since they were so cheap. Probably won’t buy many more, if any, in the future.
[ OK, Smarty, you have explained the holes in crackers. What about donuts? ]
Well, ya have to have SOME place to jam the donut hole donut into. Before consumption, that is.
Duh.
;)
You MADE me do it. Gotta bring the grade up to an A (maybe an A+):
Homemade Crackers:
Ingredients:
2 cups all-purpose flour
3 teaspoons baking powder
1 tablespoon sugar
1/2 teaspoon salt
6 tablespoons cold unsalted butter, cut into cubes
2 tablespoons vegetable oil
2/3 cup cold water
4 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
coarsely ground sea salt, for topping
Directions:
• Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.
• Place flour, baking powder, sugar, 1/2 teaspoon salt in the bowl of a food processor and pulse to combine.
• Add butter and pulse to combine.
• Add vegetable oil and pulse to combine.
• With food processor on low speed,slowly drizzle in the water until the dough begins to form a ball. Remove dough from food processor and wrap in plastic wrap. Let rest for 10 minutes.
• On a lightly floured surface, roll out dough as thin as possible. (Thinner than pie crust if possible, thin like crepes works best.)
• Cut the dough into your desired shapes with a cookie cutter, or cut rectangles or squares with a knife or pizza cutter and arrange on a baking sheet lined with a Silpat baking mat or parchment paper.
• Gather scraps of dough and re-roll until all dough is used. (If you struggle to get the dough to roll thin enough, let it rest for another 10 minutes, then come back to it. The gluten may need to relax a bit.)
• Using a toothpick, prick several holes in each cracker. (Don’t skip this step- you will not have nice, flat crackers if you don’t.)
• Bake 10 minutes, or until golden brown.
• Remove from oven, brush the tops with melted butter, and immediately sprinkle with coarsely ground sea salt. (If you don’t sprinkle the salt on the melted butter right away, it won’t stick.)
• Remove from baking sheets and allow to cool completely on a wire rack.
“made from unrefined flour so as to curb sexual desires in a man”
So even though the inventor of the graham cracker was clearly insane, he knew enough to put holes in his biscuits.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.