Posted on 01/15/2018 11:15:26 AM PST by arrow107
Just Having some fun with my son's school assignment in which he is to take a current event/issue and turn it into a book/story. I thought a small book with each page starting with "You Might Be A Sh*thole Country If...." (hats off to Jeff Foxworthy) and add pics and some stats/info for each. I know that Freepers have a biting sense of humor coupled with facts to make this so much more than we can do alone. So, if you will, a little help Freepers to get us started; You Might Be A Sh*thole Country If....
When the two-week missionaries use a much more sanitary Waste Disposal system for themselves then anyone else in your city has ever used since the beginning of time.
You know you have a sh*thole leader when he/she/it announces that he/she/it is ecstatic about his/her/it’s country taking all of America’s about to be deported, illegal aliens.
(Oops, I mistook ‘sh*thole’ for sh*thead’. Sorry, my bad!... His too!)
If you divorce your wife and she’s still your sister.
I took my grand-daughter to a river front park I used to go to up in Portland when we were visiting a couple years ago... She needed to use the bathroom and I knew one was there, besides I used to love to just throw rocks in the river when I was a kid and watch the boats and ships and thought I would show her.
Every trail I started to turn down had visible piles of shit along side you would have to literally step around. We walked a 100 yards down the river to avoid going through 20 feet of brush that was evidently now somebodies toilet...
What really pissed me off, there was a very clean, real public toilet that my grand daughter used when we got out of the car, a 100 yards back the other way in the parking lot.
Yes Durbin is a liar, along with our news media and many of our Republican reps. But this is not about the veracity of the comment but about the narrative they started and turning it around to show the unvarnished truth (sort of like we did with Deplorables). feel free to ignore friend.
If your “first black President” had a white mother.
or,
If a child born in your country becomes President of another country.
From the military perspective:
You might be deploying to a “Shit Hole”:
1. If your boss tells you to update your Gamma Globulin, Yellow Fever, Malaria, Dysentery, Tetanus and other fun immunizations- You might be deploying to a Shit Hole.
2. If the Mobilization NCO tells you not to waste your time bringing a radio, or any other electronics, as there is no electricity and there are no signals- You might be deploying to a Shit Hole.
3. If the Travel Pay folks give you a travel advance and the Per Diem rate is only $8.00/day, for everything- You might be deploying to a Shit Hole.
4. If the “Area Cultural” briefing is only 30 minutes long, but the briefing on communicable diseases is 3 hours long- You might be deploying to a Shit Hole.
5. If the “Area Cultural” briefing includes facts that some leaders in the host country keep young boys as sexual slaves- You might be deploying to a Shit Hole.
6. If the “Area Cultural” briefing includes facts that male members of that society have multiple wives, but also engage in sexual activity with barnyard animals- You might be deploying to a Shit Hole.
7. If the “Medical Briefing” includes recommendations not to walk barefoot, drink the local water, or eat ANY food on the local economy- You might be deploying to a Shit Hole.
8. If the “Medical Briefing” includes information that the roadside ditches not only serve as flood control, but also as a common latrine- You might be deploying to a Shit Hole.
9. If the Daily Report for your new assignment includes an area for “Number of Personnel Med-Evaced” from theater for unknown diseases- You might be deploying to a Shit Hole.
10. If the monetary exchange rate is greater than 50 to 1 for local currency to US Dollars- You might be deploying to a Shit Hole.
Hey, don’t be picking on Alabama. Oh wait, Doug Jones, never mind.
If someone hands you a glass of water with the admonition that “it’s not the floaters or sinkers you need worry about, it’s the swimmers”, you might be in a shithole country.
If you lost out bidding on dinner at the bushmeat market to a natural history museum specimen collector, you might be in a shithole country.
If your taxi is held together with more than 20% non threaded fasteners you might be in a shithole country.
If your taxi runs on grass or human power, you might be in a shithole country.
If there are stains on the surfaces of your doctors office, you might be in a shithole country. If they are moist still, you are, ditto if exposure to them places you in a level 3 or 4 containment facility returning home.
If the airline you are flying on allows in flight hibachi use, you might be in a shithole country.
If Bill Gates has funded the eradication of something that counts humans as a host in part or all of its lifecycle in your land, you might be in a shithole country.
If digging graves is involved in labor force turnover in your country, you might be in a shithole country.
If a disease has arisen in your land because someone thought it was a good idea to attempt to copulate outside of the species barrier, you might be in a shithole country. If you believe copulating with children cures it, you are.
I could make these up forever :-)
when your country is a dark color on this map:
http://riceinstitute.org/blog/new-maps-which-country-has-the-most-open-defecation-in-the-world/
Impressive.
...if you share an island with another country and they’re not wading through feces and poor as dirt.
1. When the leader is a round blob of fat with glasses but all the citizens have the body fat percentage of refugees from Uganda.
2. Uganda
You know you’re a shithole country when a big box stores is made out of a big box.
Bkmk
Wow - there’s an actual shithole map! Who knew?!
You know you’re from a shithole country when there are shit holes everywhere.
Dogs are your main source of meat.
I once went into the city park restrooms in Val Verde, Texas and there were piles in the floor.
Every new home sales person in Houston will tell you the Mexican workers will take a dump in the bath tub. They bring their shithole ethics with them.
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