Infant bed-sharing deaths in N.J. are at a record high. Now lawmakers may take action.

NJ Advance Media for NJ.com ^ | December 26. 2017

[SMGFan]

"Black infants and Latino infants are three times and 2.5 times more likely to die while sharing a bed, respectively." "more likely" compared to who? /s

What is the "white secret" the "Asian secret"?

[bboop]

What?? Now the government wants to be IN our beds?? Can we examine some of the variables, please? Meth + addiction; drunkenness; how many adults in the bed; rats - will make a different bed-sharing mortality.

[panzerkamphwageneinz]

We did the family bed with 6 kids in succession and they are the most well adjusted humans you’d ever meet and no, they were never in danger of being hurt. Only a fool would suffocate or hurt their child in this situation. 95% of the world raises their kids this way but idiots in this country think everyone has multiple bedrooms or beds for all of the people. Nothing wrong with this, only the idiots that are 600 pounds and roll over on their kids and kill them. Like everything, when you get to the bottom of it- you’ll find knuckle draggers bringing the rest of us down.

[TigersEye]

Obesity.

[Bigg Red]

Exactly what I was thinking — alcohol and/or drugs.

[Yaelle]

If done correctly, it is safer for infants to be near enough to the mom to hear her breathing, which regulates the infant’s breathing. Touch is essential too. An infant is calmed with one touch from the parent. An infant can feed without anyone getting up.

Safety for newborns in the family bed: the adult may have a firm foam pillow and one cover of some kind (duvet, blanket). The cover is to be kept far away from the baby. The baby should be placed in bed in the evening perpendicular to how the parent will lie, his head against the firm pillow (too firm to possibly jam his nose into and smother). The mattress is covered with mattress pad and sheet and nothing else.the bed is pressed into the corner of the room tight enough to have no space for baby to jam into the crack between mattress and wall. The baby is wearing his own warm pajama, swaddler, whatever he needs for the temperature. When the mom comes to bed she should attempt to face him most of the night, NO SUBSTANCES EVER (alcohol etc). The mom and baby instincts take over and they learn to communicate even while asleep or semi asleep, for feeding or comfort or even to correct ragged breathing.

The best way to do the family bed if there are two or more bedrooms is to have a master bedroom for adults only, and the other bedroom set up with a very low king size bed with room for whoever wishes to sleep with the baby (ies). No adult partner NEEDS someone beside him all night long. Babies and toddlers do. But there always needs to be a private room for the couple to “make more babies.”

Babies who sleep near their parent don’t wake up in the night unless sick or potty training. Ever. I’ve done this 4 times and it is true. No fears, no trying to stay up later, waking earlier. They sleep like logs because their security is wholly in the parent. They have no innner security. Only by knowing Mommy (or Daddy) is right there can they sleep securely. It is as if you were forced to spend a night on a city bench in the absolute worst part of town. That horrible feeling you would have, if that was you, tonight, on that bench, is the feeling babies and tots have when put to sleep far from you.

[TianaHighrider]

I vote the alcohol/drugs answer.
Someone would have to be ‘out of it’ very hard to not be super-aware when sleeping with an infant.

[Truthoverpower]

This s is crap
We used a cosleeper when the babies reached 6 months so baby could be right by mama
The dr sears bullcrap about letting my your infant cry itself to sleep alone in another room is pure evil
The infant wants and needs mommy 24/7 or as close to as possible

[Stingray51]

Typical NJ

[Hardastarboard]

GREAT post. Thanks for sharing your experiences.

[pepsi_junkie]

My family is in NJ. My daughter had bad reflux and, hence, sleep issues. My wife wanted her in with us. So in she came. One thing I learned: that little grub zealously sought out heat and I was the best source. So she'd scramble across the bed and jam herseld into the my back, shoulder high (I seep on my side). I'd instinctively slide away a bit and she'd quickly scramble back into her little spot. This would repeat until I was precariously perched on the knife edge of the bed. To my rear, a sleeping baby that I dare not roll onto. To my front, a drop to the floor.

My daughter slept well in with us. Me, well, sleep became an interesting hypothetical scenario for me in those days...

[heartwood]

I slept with all four of my babies - I would wake up before I shifted a limb, so it wasn’t the most restful of sleeps - and I never trusted my husband (sorry, love) so I always made myself int a fence. It was better when I put the crib as an annex to the big bed, no rail between.

OTOH, the Star-Ledger (NJ.com) ran an article about a couple who lost three of six or eight babies sharing a bed, or a mattress on the floor at least. They lived in deplorable filthy conditions even though the mother had a decent job as a medical assistant. Something else very wrong there, not bed-sharing as such.

[TianaHighrider]

It is certainly true that most other cultures keep children in close quarters with them. Even our own ancestors kept much smaller accommodations. Including sleeping in the same room. I am sure the wagon train sleeping arrangements were tight too. And teepees. Safety is in packs and close together.

Our country has grown so perverted and idiotic they push every form of closeness is a sexual or dangerous (physical of psychological) episode.

[Malsua]

So she'd scramble across the bed and jam herseld into the my back, shoulder high (I seep on my side). I'd instinctively slide away a bit and she'd quickly scramble back into her little spot. This would repeat until I was precariously perched on the knife edge of the bed. To my rear, a sleeping baby that I dare not roll onto. To my front, a drop to the floor.

My dog does the same thing. It's why I get up at 4:30am. If I get up to go to the bathroom, he just moves to my spot and stares at me when I return "What? You left, my spot now".

[Dr. Sivana]

What is the "Asian secret"?

[TheWriterTX]

All 3 of my kids slept in a bassinet right by the bed. I slept with my head at the foot of the bed so I could always have one hand on them while they slept. When my 2nd came along, I was so exhausted I fell asleep feeding her and pulled the covers over both of us. My firstborn came in to wake me up because he heard the baby crying under the covers. Never did that again. Unbridled fear kept me awake from the point on.

[Drew68]

Obesity.

My first though, combined with single moms raising multiple children are exhausted.

There's a multitude of stories coming out right now about the rising infant mortality rates in the United States, particularly among blacks and Latinos and all of which tip-toe around the fact that most of these women are single moms. The media loathes any criticism of single motherhood.

[donna]

This is why the net is bad:

41 dead infants
41 posters in irrational disagreement

[BobL]

It would be interesting to do a study to see when these kids die during each year, as in one month, as it wouldn’t surprise me to see a spike in the summer.
(people can draw their own conclusions from that)

[lastchance]

Having enough beds and sober parents. Though the sobriety part is not exclusive to non-White parents I just figure it is very likely a factor.