Holiday Tradition in the Laz Household

12/25/2017 | By Laz A. Mataz

[Lazamataz]

It is Christmas Tradition in this house to post a picture of my decorated Human Christmas Tree.

While you may think I have outdone myself this year, you should see him when I plug him into the electric socket!

[bagster]

Hey, me too.

Get Lantis pens. You can pretend to be a hayron addict.

It's great fun.

[BykrBayb]

Are you still allowed to wear the handcuffs?

[PGalt]

Very funny.

Merry Christmas, Laz.

[Lazamataz]

I got the pens, too. My doctor refused on the needles. Something about me being a recovered drug addict (”... and yer gonna STAY recovered, dammit!” — the Doctor)

[Dr. Ursus]

Great! Merry Christmas to you and your family.

[bagster]

Yea, but you didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition.

Or did you?

[Lazamataz]

Kinda blindsided me.

Back to Christmas Diabetes, tho: It’s really weird, now that I am actually taking insulin. Once my blood sugar goes much below 200, I get all the symptoms of hypoglycemia. Vision a little blurried, slight amounts of confusion. Doctor said that’s to be expected tho, my body being used to high 300’s, a normal blood sugar acts like a super-low one. He said not to be concerned.

[Big Red Badger]

“I got the pens” ???

Is That what a Diver gets or
Adult Protection?

[bagster]

The needles are these little screw on thingies and the pens already have the drug inside the pen.

I don't know how you could swap it out for the devils juice but maybe there's a way.

Addicts are crafty creatures.

I'm tellin ya. Lantis gets them numbers right as the mail. And you only got to F with it once a day.

[Lazamataz]

I’ll do Lantis at some point, right now I am on sliding-scale.

[Lazamataz]

I was very surprised, I could not even FEEL the pen needle.

I kept on going, “Is it in yet?”

Which is the most often phrase I hear when I hit it with a chick.

BTW: You want to screw with a chick’s mind? Get busy, stop, and then go: “Is it in yet?” LOL

[Lazamataz]

My original phrase is one letter ‘i’ away from being naughty.

[Eddie01]

Welcome to FreeRepublic

[bagster]

Huh. I got that too. I can’t see for S. I need to go to the eye doctor fo sho. I think I jacked up my rods and cones.

[trebb]

Thank God! I was afraid that was you.....

Merry Christmas - He is born!!!!

[Lazamataz]

Damn dawg, go check that.

My job depends on my eyes. I’m a computer developer. I cannot write code just in my brain.

I told the doctor, “I’m perfectly okay with being a legless, armless torso. Just SAVE THE EYES!”

[Hatteras]

220, 221... whatever it takes...

[Lazamataz]

But, here’s the drill: Unless you got black areas you can’t see out of, your eyes haven’t suffered a diabetes effect. Blurry vision is more current-sugar-levels, low ones usually.

[bagster]

That works if her C is bigger than your P.

p.s. I'm sad nobody LOL'd at my "Lighten up Pope Francis" line.

I mean, really. It was a double joke. The old "Lighten up Francis" gag with a Christian twist referencing the actual Pope Francis.

Maybe I'm losing my touch.

[Guardian Sebastian]

Merry Christmas! Your FRiends know your true heart. (I thought it was funny. These people are freaks.)