Posted on 12/02/2017 1:51:18 PM PST by sodpoodle
If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.
(Hardly seems worth it.)
If you passed gas consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.
(Now that's more like it!)
The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out of the body to squirt blood 30 feet.
(O.M.G.!)
A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes. (O.M.G.!!!)
A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to death. (Creepy)
(I'm still not over the pig.)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
(Don't try this at home; maybe at work.)
The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.
(Honey, I'm home . What the...?)
The flea can jump 350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a football field.
(30 minutes. Lucky pig! Can you imagine?)
The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds
(What could be so tasty on the bottom of a pond?)
Some lions mate over 50 times a day.
(I still can't believe that pig ...quality over quantity.)
Butterflies taste with their feet.
(Something I always wanted to know.)
The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm.......)
Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed people.
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)
Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.
(Okay, so that would be a good thing.)
A cat's urine glows under a black light.
(I wonder how much the government paid to figure that out.)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain
(I know some people like that.)
Starfish have no brains.
(I know some people like that, too.)
Polar bears are left-handed.
(If they switch, they'll live a lot longer.)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.
(What about that pig? Do the dolphins know about the pig?)
Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread these crazy facts and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to, maybe even a chuckle.
In other words, send it to everyone! (and God love that pig.)
Who knows, maybe somewhere deep down in her primitive brain, Kathy Griffin just wants to have sex with Donald Trump.
That brings to mind one of the funniest things I’ve ever read. It seems that an unusually high number of moonbat Trump-haters are plagued by Trump-sex dreams. Not only that, but they tweet about their disgust and chagrin over these intrusive dreams. Someone collected a raft of these tweets and posted them online. Rarely have I laughed so hard.
A little further on at the link I posted, it said the key was to avoid hungry females. If the males couldp just figure out whether shes eaten recently or not, they could increase their odds dramatically.
_____________________
take her to dinner first?
otherwise:
BRAINS!!
Bol!
“I’ll never forget the last words of my dear old uncle Harold. He said: ‘A truck!’”
No wonder pigs always have that stupid smile on their face.
When she sees a male of another species nearby who's "looking for love," she'll answer with the flashing pattern of the female of his species. He lands next to her, thinking he's going to copulate, only to be eaten instead.
Hmm... just how many other species are there out there with this pattern of Life & Death & Sex? Praying mantii ... fireflies ... humans ....
More like 6 or 7 football fields?
I’ve often amused myself analyzing leftists, what’s really funny is most of them gravitate to the left because they’re deathly afraid of appearing unintelligent or unsophisticated, but then you have these very primitive, unpolished things tumbling out of their mouths and they don’t have a clue they’re even doing it, let alone how obvious it is. I sometimes have a running “National Geographic”-style safari documentary going in my head when dealing with them.
You learn something every day. You did, however, omit the obvious. How do you think the black widow spider got its name?
I typed the latter into Bing, and this came up:
‘Spider cannibalism is the act of a spider consuming all or part of another individual of the same species as food. In the majority of cases a female spider kills and eats a male spider before, during, or after copulation.’
I have yet to see a garden slug jump...
That’s hilarious. I bet your commentaries are priceless.
Yes, it’s certainly true that leftists pride themselves on being smarter than knuckle-dragging conservatives. But Twitter has made that illusion more difficult to maintain. The instant a leftist makes a stupid statement, conservatives are waiting to rub it in.
Hey baby. How about a quickie???
The human body has over 85 billion miles of DNA in it.
Only two species of mammals hunt for sport. Man being one of them. Can you guess the other?
The human body contains about 100 trillion cells.
Garden slugs party when no one is watching.
The nervous system: more than 90,000 miles of sensations.
Cats? I know of cats who play with their prey, kill it and then do not eat it.
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