Posted on 06/06/2017 3:04:45 PM PDT by Mechanicos
Dear Tech Support,
’Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slowdown in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as: Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as: NBA 5.0, NFL 3.0 and Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and House cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail. What can I do?
Signed, Desperate
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The response:
Dear Desperate,
“First keep in mind, Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system. Please enter command: I thought you loved me.html and try to download Tears 6.2 and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update. If that application works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Beer 6.1. Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Farting and Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.) In addition, please, do not attempt to re-install the Boyfriend 5.0 program. These are unsupported applications and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend: Cooking 3.0.Good Luck!’
Good Luck!
I think I first saw it on USENET hen accessing via my CP/M S/100 bus system.
I'm pretty sure there was a copy of this taped to one of my CompSci professors' office doors back in the VAX / DEC PDP-10 days (on green and white tractor-feed paper). I know for sure I saw the first "online" version on Quantum Link.
Still funny, though.
Both the husband and wife are male and the girlfriend is a tranny.
Fanboys waited in the rain for hours for a chance to pay $200 for the new version of the joke.
Now that's funny!
Reminds me of the joke on how to please a woman:
http://allnurses.com/nursing-humor-share/how-to-please-18420.html
She needs to add the “How to please a man 101” program:
Show up naked
Bring beer
Lol
More like ransomware.
Good grief! A one-note skin flute!
This is so old, I was young when I first read it.
Laughed so hard you fell off your rocking dinosaur?
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