The MOST irritating office jargon revealed, from 'pinging' emails to 'idea showers'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk ^ | 06/02/2017 | Siofra Brennan

[Responsibility2nd]

Someone should forward this link to Scott Adams.

They way he uses these over done clichés in ‘Dilbert’ is perfect. Just perfect.

Coming from a cubibally based environment, I know I and my colleagues use some of these phrases. Some too many times.

But when used in ‘Dilbert’; they are perfect.

[TADSLOS]

Critical Path

System of Systems

Task Focused

Event Driver

[heterosupremacist]

#36 txhurl wrote: "Wouldn’t it be funny if your office only allowed Mafia terms to conduct communications and meetings?" I speak fluent Mafioso but the 'Human Resources Department' would have me 'terminated'.

[Mr. Douglas]

Now, in today’s business/corporate environment that is populated largely by mis-educated illiterates, their usage is not at all proper.

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I agree. There are legitimate phrases on that list, and there are those that have lost their meaning to a lot of the ‘mis-educated” that continues to load up the cubicles around here. I suppose it’s how some of the old guys looked at me when I came in in the early 80’s.

But it does seem worse now. It’s as though the schools want everyone to see all definitions as “squishy”, ever since Bill Clinton said, “It depends on the definition of the word, ‘is’.”

[ConservativeWarrior]

Fair enough. haha

Sometimes, from the customer side, “scope creep” can annoy me. Usually when an assumed element of a project is not included and attempts are made to increase costs due to “scope creep”.

“What? You wanted tires on your car? Scope creep.”

I’m sure there’s a balance somewhere in the middle. :)

[central_va]

recalibrate

[central_va]

sub optimal

[Responsibility2nd]

My guilty phrase is ‘unring the bell’.

I’m in banking. Lending. They paid late and have a 30 day delinquency on their credit reports. They ask me how to delete that.

I tell them to build a “way back” machine. I tell them they can’t unring the bell.

I know. I need to come up with better more nicer replies.

[Mr.Unique]

You should reach out to the author and see if it can be added to the list.

[sodpoodle]

I hate the two most overused words by journalists and politicians;

Our ‘partners’ and ‘the narrative’.

When did literacy, orginality and intellect disappear?

[jjotto]

I’ve been in places (not medical facilities!) where ‘STAT!’ was all the rage.

[central_va]

event horizon

[Mr.Unique]

"So,..."

I agree. Strongly.

[1Old Pro]

Transparent
Hard Stop

[Mr. Douglas]

Sometimes, from the customer side, “scope creep” can annoy me. Usually when an assumed element of a project is not included and attempts are made to increase costs due to “scope creep”.

“What? You wanted tires on your car? Scope creep.”

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Yep. I try to avoid the words when dealing with the client, or make light of it. But your tires example points out the real problem. If I, as the Business Analyst, didn’t include tires in the initial documents, that is on me. On the other hand, if they business says, “we will be moving our offices from Palm Springs to Fargo and we’ve decided we’ll need an integrated block heater in all the engines”, that is scope creep, but also justified and will result in a change board approved change request.

Deciding late in the game that they want TV’s built into the backs of the front seat headrests will be delegated to “phase II”. In fact, to use the car analogy, that will be in next year’s model. :)

[txhurl]

'Somebody go reach out to crack that engineer's skull, and I want the feedback broken eggs in a bowl on my desk before lunchtime, and one-a you team players punks better have me a viable solution f**ing omelette by 5p.'

[txhurl]

'Somebody go reach out to crack that engineer's skull, and I want the feedback broken eggs in a bowl on my desk before lunchtime, and one-a you team players punks better have me a viable solution f**ing omelette by 5p.'

[Chewbarkah]

My most hated: “Synergy”. It’s shorthand for, “One stupid bad, two stupids good. Magic makes it so.”

[sevlex]

Plan your work and work your plan.

[Grams A]

My most hated phrase is when someone says or writes that they wanted to “reach out”. What happened to the simple word “contact”? I don’t want anyone I don’t know reaching out to me in any form. Phrases used by today’s office employees just irks me to no end.