Posted on 05/19/2017 7:59:58 PM PDT by BJ1
I often encounter “pro-marriage” people while gathering stories for the blog. These pro-marriage people come in two varieties.
On the one end of the spectrum are people like Terrell Clemmons and Jennifer Roback Morse, who understand marriage, but who also understand the social changes that have made marriage unattractive for men. Both Clemmons and Morse have a background in STEM fields, so they are able to understand incentives and tradeoffs. They understand that society has to rollback the changes to education, divorce laws, etc. if they expect men to be interested in marriage again. They understand that men are not just accessories of women, but instead have their own desires, feelings and reasons for marrying.
On the other end of the spectrum are feminist men, who are not able to understand the changing incentives that face men in a world that has evolved under the influence of radical feminism. It is just simpler (less thinking) for these men to accept the radical feminism as a given, and then urge men to “man up”. I think a much better idea would be for the “man up” crowd to realize how marriage has changed, and how the schools and the workplace have changed, then make all of these things more attractive to men. It doesn’t do any good to try to “dare” men into jumping off a cliff. Men aren’t stupid, and they do what is in their own best interests. If the man-up crowd wants younger men to marry, then they need to change the incentives offered to men. And that means changing women first.
(Excerpt) Read more at winteryknight.com ...
Everything is better with Bluetooth. It’s the bacon of electronics.
Everything is better with Bluetooth. It’s the bacon of electronics.
If you were considering buying a car, and the contract said that the car could be taken from you at any time but you would have to keep making payments on it permanently, would you buy the car?
Beauty and fertility fade.
Parenthood, however, lasts.
Unfortunately, men are disenfranchised from parenthood, and are thus left without the key basis for lasting marriage.
Everyone who owns a Windows or Mac PC with an OS license that says just that, yet they seem okay with it.
When you buy the substandard stuff while being ignorant about your own capabilities, you fall into the pit of despair.
For those who are solid character and heart, who also pick a person of solid character and heart to marry, there are no concerns.
I understand what you’re saying but want to respond to: “All I wanted her to do was make dinner, clean up the house and have enough energy and desire for sex.”
When woman also has to work outside the home she is no longer in that frame of mind where she can focus her attention/energy on all things domestic. At least, this is how it’s been for me. Then again, I have ADHD and brain wired a little differently such as unable to switch gears easily...anyways been married over 20 years and lucky to have my best friend to grow old with. But the issue is complex I know, social/cultural but also IMO our economy does not help one bit.
Speaking for myself, I’d rather live humble and not have the need for my wife to work to pay for the good life, as most see it. I did that with my first wife and women burning the candle at both ends is not good. Men are expected to pick up the slack, so you as the man come home from work and help clean up drive the kids around. It’s lousy all the way around in my view.
Of course with the majority of women working, it has helped to fuel the increase in property values. Women now compete for the good jobs, meaning some men have lost ground (blue collar) in the last 50 years. Law of unintended consequences is that women joining the work force, make it harder for other women to remain home makers. Well that’s how I see it.
Yep. It all perpetuates a vicious cycle which cannot now be reversed. I believe the status quo of the American lower/middle class family isn’t conducive to strong family bonds, proper involved child rearing, and prompts underlying feelings of low level desperation/life passing one by. I work in an office where some of the positions are high stress and long hours, thankfully not my own, but I am subjected to the fallout, and you just see it turn people into assholes. I straight up want to tell this one already high strung young man who’s about to be married that his great paycheck is not worth what it is now, and will in long run do, to his mental/physical health. If my husband’s paycheck could provide a decent (not fancy) living I’d quit in a New York minute to stay home and support in other ways. Would love to have a cleaner house lol, cook more leisurely and maybe actually enjoy it, get friendlier with neighbors, be more involved in my kids, well now grandkids, lives etc.
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