Glenn Beck? Really? C'mon.
Posted on 03/17/2017 12:30:57 AM PDT by American72
Our older son is finally moving out next week. He is 23 and has worked for our small business throughout his young adult life, but hadn't been able to find full time work that would pay enough to live on his own. He did pay rent while living here after college.
The problem is that he has completely rejected our family values. I guess he was indoctrinated in college unfortunately. This was a kid that went with us to the original Bush rallies during the recount and was proud to be American, and even wrote a paper on my great great grandfather who was a Civil War veteran (Confederate).
He and I got into it last year after I caught him trying to indoctrinate my 13 year old about Bernie Sanders. I told him he could believe whatever he wanted but he would not push his views on his sister.
Later on he became a Hillary supporter and wrote blogs about how "horrified" he was about Trump. He wrote a blog recently called "Why Liberals Lose" and it basically said that liberals know they are smarter than conservatives, and they just have to learn how to convey their message better so that conservatives will understand it. WTH.
We rarely talk anymore outside of general pleasantries. It is upsetting to know he finds his Dad and I stupid and "intolerant." He said we haven't had anything good to say about Democrats in his lifetime. It's hard to have good things to say about them when their values and behaviors are completely 180 form what we believe.
The sad thing is, he is a big Christian. He was raised Lutheran, but has decided to convert to Eastern Orthodoxy. I honestly don't understand any of that, but I am staying out of it.
He rejects anything we say to him anymore. He is moving 800 miles away, and I'm sad to think this is it, and this is how this phase of our parenting is ending. I can pray he sees the light as he gets out in the real world.
Have any of you dealt with this? And if so, any advice or words of wisdom?
I feel like a failure here, and I'm sure I'll hear from some how I royally screwed up. I'm just praying there is hope for the future.
Glenn Beck? Really? C'mon.
First, he’s not a “Christian”, big or otherwise, if involved in Eastern Orthodoxy. Looking at his actions from that perspective might help you make more sense of the situation. Liberals are anti-Christian and they aren’t controlled by Christ.
I guess I’d start praying for him to have a true come-to-Jesus moment as a good place to start.
Then try tough love and change your mindset to be thankful for the 800-mile distance as a protection from him poisoning the mind of YOUR young teenager. It’s your job to direct her; not his.
He may change his thinking some day. He knows what’s true and right down deep inside. Until then, he’s toxic to the family unit.
My opinion and I may be completely wrong.
If he is going to a Orthodox Church that’s a very good sign. Orthodox Christians are rather conservative.
He’ll come around in a few years
Proverbs 22:6 is absolutely true.
I was fortunate to have had a Great Uncle who was a major influence in my life. Mostly as my father was a career man in the Army, when he was off on duty, I would spend every Saturday at his saddlery shop in Okeana, Ohio.
Whenever he would see me straying or tipping my toe off the path, he would use a tact where he would cite proverbs but in a way that would get me to focus on what was coming up rather than just blurting it out. He started each one with “A wise man once said;”
I distinctly remember this one, as well as others, and they have become driving edits of how I strive to live my life. I have three sons from two failed marriages. Ironically, those failures were my fault in that I did it all wrong by believing the prevailing wisdom of the times. But, I did not lose those defining principles and I raised my sons as best I could with them. Although they were raised by liberal mothers, my values won out in the end. They are all very conservative young men now.
Just stay the coarse and always be there to talk, not preach. The may very well come the day that he needs help and by all means, use your principles to start the help with teachable moments and not “told ya so’s”. Just as others have said here, he needs to hit that wall a few times and when he does, he will begin a process of introspection and the answers he seeks are already there. It will take a little time for him to fully realize it.
But let's not hijack this thread.
He’s grown now. Your job of raising him is over. But you will always be mom and dad.
Put the politics and differences aside. Let someone else be the voice of reason in these areas. If he wants your opinion, let him ask for it respectfully. Be open, but don’t compromise your beliefs.
If there are any things you have done wrong, be honest and candid in admitting this.
Learn from your mistakes when dealing with your daughter or any other family members.
Let your son know you love him and are always there for him. Your love and acceptance must be unconditional. He should know this. And BOTH of you need to verbalize this.
Study the Bible. Learn to articulate your beliefs based on its authority to those who accept it. You may have an opportunity to do so with your son. Let him know you are glad he is seeking God, even if you disagree about many things. Find some common ground there if possible.
Pray. Ask God to bring positive influences into your son’s life. Ask God to keep evil people away from him.
Seek to please God in your own lives. Perhaps God will bring your son back to you in His time.
Satan loves to divide families. Keep him in your heart and in your prayers and at the same time let him find his way. Stay out of the religion choice for now—sometime he may be more receptive but not now.
It’s a narrow path, not letting him learn to take advantage of you but always being there if he needs you. Narrow paths are hard. It seems that you have to watch your step. If you are firm but not too emotional, that helps.
One of our pastors has said “It may not happen in your lifetime, but keep up the prayers and keep singing your little song and God will hear you.”
I ask for the best of results for you and will keep your family in my prayers.
And preparation for a relationship with a prospective loved one starts with the questions and answers you'll find after following the work recommended by the book Before You Say "I Do": A Marriage Preparation Guide for Couples .
Tell him that it's good for 3 cups of ramen noodles at Walmart.
(subtle evidence that capitalism actually works.)
The old adage, if you love someone let them go is such a truism. Let him experience life without any of your help. Only then can he start to realize the realities. Tell him that you love him, but that he must go experience life for himself to understand who & what you are. Because nobody gave you something other than your parents, and you never disrespected them.
He’s a man. Time for him to start living his own life. And time for you to let him do so.
Trust God. He has a plan for all of us, even your boy.
you did your job now let the bird fly from the nest
Apparently, he doesn’t recognize how much he has caved into the peer pressure, however unwittingly it may have been. He is close to having the mentality of somebody under the influence of a group of cult leaders. I felt it in the late ‘70s and all the way into the mid-’90s, peaking in the early-to-mid ‘80s but never to that extent. Some is a good thing but when it compromises your belief system, you’ll be saying and doing things that will make people who have known you your entire life think that they either don’t know you anymore or never knew you at all. The peer pressure that today’s youngsters may feel (or not) is more insidious than ever.
You did fine. It’s the nature for kids, as all of us, to rebel. Don’t worry about the Eastern Orthodox Church. They’ll make him wear a suit. I know they do down the street.
Let him be. As he grows up, pays taxes, works and experiences the real world he will see reality. And reality is conservative.
Orthodox are among the more conservative of denominations.
Be kind, call a truce, agree to disagree, agree that difficult topics are off-limits to both of you. Be respectful of him. Listen and say that’s interesting, thank you, I see you have put a lot of thought into this, I will need to think about this.
Find topics you can agree on, whether it be coffee, sports, football, music. If there isn’t any, pretend to agree and be interested in a non-controversial subject that he is interested in. My father sat through countless football games with with my brother, in order to forge a relationship that was strong til my father’s death.
Mouth shut and listen. Smile and non-committal.
Don’t argue.
My father disliked football.
Don’t feel guilty. Stand strong.
Look into, read up on *Tough Love* program.
Perhaps there is some help for you at this link:
https://www.empoweringparents.com/articles/
God bless. Prayers.
Be comforted in knowing you are not alone. As I read your writing, I saw numerous similarities with your son and our youngest son and their rejecting family values. It has been several years since our son walked away from our family and having two children, his own. I am convinced alcohol and drugs were indeed a contributing factor and pray that some day before I pass on, he will reverse his rejection of our entire family. It may never happen but we can only hope. Unless someone has had similar experiences, they cannot understand the hurt that has fallen on all within a family. I pray that someday both your son and our own look toward God for guidance.
Nope. Pops hated that I didn’t work for the government. In his world the number 1 goal in life was to get a gov’t job and retire from said gov’t job. Nothing else mattered.
______________
goal of a lot of people in this world : a GGJ
good government job
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