Posted on 02/25/2017 5:44:43 AM PST by sodpoodle
Misinterpreting the Words
When my twin daughters were young, I taught them to say this prayer before going to bed. As I listened outside their door, I could hear them say, "Give us this steak and daily bread, and forgive us our mattresses." My husband and I always had a good laugh over this. That was over 50 years ago, and the memory still remains in my heart.
Groton, Mass. My mother spent her early childhood saying, "Hail Mary, full of grapes"
Missoula, Mont. My son, who is in nursery school, said, "Our Father, who art in Heaven, how didja know my name?"
Uniontown, Ohio I remember thinking this prayer was "Give us this day our jelly bread."
Covina, Calif. I recall reading something years ago about the Pledge of Allegiance. Some child thought it began, "I led the pigeons to the flag."
Cleveland, Ohio When I was little, I often wondered who Richard Stands was. You know: "I pledge allegiance to the flag . . . And to the republic for Richard Stands."
Tampa, Fla. When my husband was 6 years old, he thought a certain Prayer was "He suffered under a bunch of violets." The real words were "under Pontius Pilate," but at that age, he didn't know better. To this day, we still snicker in church whenever that prayer is read.
Grand Junction, Colo. When I was younger, I believed the line was "Lead a snot into temptation." I thought I was praying for my little sister to get into trouble.
enjoy
One of my sons memorized the beginning of Psalm 1 and proudly told his father,
“Blessed is the man who walks not on the counters of the wicked,
Nor stands in the way of dinner,
Nor sits in the seat of golfers.”
Mine was the 23rd Psalm, “Shirley, goodness and mercy shall follow you all the days....
I wondered who Shirley was but I never asked.
h i j k elephant-o p
I hate to say for how many years I misunderstood “the peace that passeth understanding.”
I looked forward to the day I would understand things.
Imagine my surprise when I realized that “pass” there did not mean,”pass around or hand out,” but “surpass”!
Kinda like the Hispanic at a baseball game said everyone was so friendly...He said they all stood and sang to him...”Jose, can you see.....”
I also had one who wanted to be forgiven her transistors.
In school we sang ‘Oh Come all Yea Faithful’ in Latin. The part ‘Adeste Fidelis Laetae Triumphante’ we believed, referred to ‘lighting the Christmas tree.
(forgive my spelling, it’s been a lot of years since then;)
“Mine was the 23rd Psalm, “Shirley, goodness and mercy shall follow you all the days....”
Shirley? You must be joking...
Being Jewish, growing up in the 1950’s, when we sang Christian songs, including Christmas Carols in school, I remember Hark the harold angels sing. (I had a cousin named harold. We three kings of orien tar., Round yon version, my knives have seen the glory.
Sodpoodle,
I saved these with several others contributed by you, taking it on Faith that you shared these as well. They still bring a smile when read :-)
If not you, I apologize to the one who actually shared them.
ALL MEN / ALL GIRLS
When my daughter, Kelli, said her bedtime prayers, she would bless every family member, every friend, and every animal (current and past). For several weeks, after we had finished the nightly prayer, Kelli would say, “And all girls.”
This soon became part of her nightly routine, to include this closing. My curiosity got the best of me and I asked her, “Kelli, why do you always add the part about all girls?”
Her response, “Because everybody always finish their prayers by saying ‘All Men’!”
SAY A PRAYER
Little Johnny and his family were having Sunday dinner at his Grandmother’s house. Everyone was seated around the table as the food was being served. When Little Johnny received his plate, he started eating right away. “Johnny! Please wait until we say our prayer,” said his mother.
“I don’t need to,” the boy replied.
“Of course, you do” his mother insisted. “We always say a prayer before eating at our house.”
“That’s at our house.” Johnny explained. “But this is Grandma’s house and she knows how to cook.”
Once again, thanks for the smiles.
From my childhood: The Battle Hymn of the Republic - He is trampling out the village where the grapes are wrapped and stored.
Saying the Pledge, I mangled one of the words...
“... with liverty and justice for all”
And part of the lyrics to “My Country Tis of Thee” got turned into this:
“...of the icing.”
Not to be difficult but some of us got it drilled in secular Latin classes:
Adeste fideles, laiti, triumphantes
Venite, venite ad Bethehem,
Natum videte, regem angelorum.
Venite adoremus, venite adoremus,
Venite adoremus, dominus.
Good old case endings.
(Autocorrect is trying to play havoc with this! Pardon any leftover typos)
When my brother was old enough to take to Mass without him misbehaving, he looked at the items on and around the altar with glee; he loved all the gold trim and huge candles.
Then he pointed at the crucifix and said “Mom look!” And she replied “Yes, I know, that is Jesus on the cross”. Then my brother stood up, all excited, still pointing and outloud said “I know Mom, but look! His license plate says he’s from Rhode Island!”
He was referring to the ‘INRI’- King of the Jews- placard on the cross. We lived in Rhode Island and had just taught him some license plate games to entertain him in the car.
The entire church laughed and at the time, you just did not LOL in church. Being a mortified teen, I just rolled my eyes and hung my head, completely embarrassed as I pictured the entire high school hearing about this horrible indignity thrust upon me by my stupid little brother!
But now, it always makes me laugh and I still remind him of it every chance I get!
When my mom was teaching me to say the Hail Mary, I felt things needed to be more equitably distributed and so I began it, "Hail Mary, full of Grace and Gatti."
I once heard a parish priest tell a story about a Catholic elementary school class who was making Christmas drawings. One boy drew a nativity scene that had all the usual identifiable characters, the baby Jesus, Mary, Joseph, shepherds, three kings, angels and one apparently out of place extremely obese man. When asked who the unexpected character was, the boy answered, "Round John Virgin." :-)
My wife went quite some time thinking the words to another Christmas song were “see the blazing mule before us”. When she told me this I envisioned an old stone fireplace with four mule legs jutting straight out of it. Still makes me chuckle.
WE were flying back to Dallas from the UK with our restive boys years ago. They finally settled down and put on their earphones, and giggled the rest of the trip. The British comedian was talking about his childhood, going to church, and wondering about Gladly, the cross eyed bear!
They still laugh about that 20 years later!
“Harold be thy name”
A good friend sent this recollection:
And, when our son, Greg, was 5 he sang Silent Night as: “Silent Night. Holy night. Round up your virgins. . . . .” ~ Don
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