Posted on 01/25/2017 6:52:37 AM PST by pabianice
“I broke no laws. I merely took a chance with my heart,” is a quote from a 37-year-old man who asked a 16-year-old Starbucks barista on a date while she was at work. That’s just one example of the countless times that men have harassed women at their jobs. The most common forms of harassment are sexual or otherwise disturbing comments. Unfortunately, this is a common occurrence for any young woman who works in a retail or service job, just as many of us do. Sometimes it’s an inappropriate comment; sometimes it’s physical. This behavior from customers seems inescapable, especially in a job where “the work environment privileges the customer and emphasizes customer satisfaction,” as Karen D. Hughes and Vela Tadic found in their study of sexual harassment of women by customers. There’s an expectation of deference and friendliness toward customers, many of whom interpret a smile and greeting as a sign of interest, when these behaviors are actually requirements of the job.
Let’s examine the restaurant industry. Restaurant Opportunities Centers United conducted surveys and focus groups of restaurant workers and found that 65 percent of women, compared to 39 percent of men, had experienced “sexual teasing, jokes, remarks, or questions” from customers. Women also experienced “pressure for dates” and “sexually suggestive looks or gestures” from customers at about twice the rate that men experienced them.
I’ve often wondered why some men act this way. Sometimes I’ve tried to explain it away by thinking that “he was just trying to be nice,” and I’ve even fallen into the trap of blaming myself for it.
One particular memory from a summer job stands out to me. After getting his ice cream, a man told me, “The counter is sticky.” I replied that I was sorry about that and would clean it up right away. He repeated himself, and I again said that I would clean it up. He reached over, grabbed both of my wrists and put my hands on the counter. I pulled my hands away immediately, shocked. I didn’t know what to say, so I didn’t say anything. He walked away, enjoying his ice cream.
With that customer, I wondered to myself afterward if I hadn’t been taking his complaint seriously enough and if he was just trying to get his point across clearly. But that wouldn’t justify his actions. It’s never okay to invade someone’s personal space like that. It doesn’t matter if that person is an employee and you’re a customer, you’re two people who should treat each other with respect.
Actions like this seem to result from a combination of sexism and taking the idea that “the customer is always right” to an extreme level. The men who act this way have a lack of respect for women and a lack of respect for anyone in a service job. Often, harassment can be a way to assert their power.
So how do we fix this problem? Some have said that women who are dealing with this problem should leave that job for a different one. When Donald Trump was asked what he would suggest his daughter, Ivanka, do if she were harassed at work, he replied “I would like to think she would find another career or another company if that were the case.” However, his proposed solution for this – like his proposed would not actually work. Harassment can be found anywhere.
What might actually work is teaching men to respect women. People who witness customers harassing employees should speak up and let the customer know that it’s unacceptable. The 37-year-old man mentioned previously was banned from that Starbucks, showing one possible solution for the most extreme cases.
While at work, people may have to apologize for things that aren’t actually their fault. “I’m sorry, we’re all out of that flavor,” or “I’m sorry, we’re closing soon.” But they should never have to apologize for the expectation that they will be treated with respect.
Jessica Primavera is a Collegian contributor and can be reached at jprimavera@umass.edu.
>>So, that’s what those knitted pink caps represented, Pig heads?
Apropos!<<
That is what they looked like to me!
Abuse, intimidation, and degradation are all part of men's repertoire of tactics employed in competitive situations. In other words, men are not treating women differently from men—the definition of discrimination, under which sexual harassment legally falls—but the opposite: Men harass women precisely because they are not discriminating between men and women.
http://bit.ly/2ktExy8
I think when you are on the same level it’s ok. But yeah, the breakup...
Some girls are unfair. Don’t flirt with those girls. Lol.
There’s an old colloquial “rule” that I’ve lived by, that has served me well: “Never get your honey from the place you make your money.” Don’t know if it’s common across the country or not.
A sixteen year old is not a “woman”.
True.
I met my husband at work. We’ve been married for 33 years.
Do you still work together?
No. I left that job for a better one. He stayed for 4-5 years and then also moved on. No one cared about that sort of thing back then. It’s quite different today.
I think it is VERY smart for established people who are in a position of success or authority to NOT mess with company employees. Equally smart is to avoid sleeping with your boss.
However, in underlevel positions, among equal single people (often young, often in situations where they could easily find another low level job elsewhere), interdating is how things work. As well as indirect clients and vendors and associates. I had a boyfriend I met at work in a university hospital laboratory, for three years, and most of the time we worked in neighboring labs. It was actually a lot of fun. And when it ended, we didn’t work there any more anyway.
As I have pointed out before, one of the huge problems in today's culture is that the 14-year-olds look 25 and the 25-year-olds act 14. :)
So now Jessica the snowflake wants to ban men flirting with women or asking them for a date.
These feminist wacko’s have poisoned sexual relationships to where you can’t glance at a woman, smile at a woman, or compliment a woman. Then they bitch that men should “man up.”
I have rarely encountered women who could not make their feelings known in a way that cuts a man to shreds if he steps out of line. This treating women like they are powerless little puppies has to stop.
Not to mention the mothers of these poor girls.
When a middle-aged male customer made vulgar comments to my daughter while she worked at a store, malls security didn’t do much. But her brother and his friends deployed. They sat outside her store until the mall closed and walked her to her car. They are all big boys and were a little disappointed that they didn’t have to do more than that. I was proud of them.
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