Posted on 01/19/2017 5:11:01 AM PST by Gamecock
Dear Ms. Paltrow,
I’ve been reading all about the jade eggs you are selling on GOOP for $55-66 a pop and the corresponding interview with a jade egg enthusiast. I have tried not to respond to this hot mess, after all a man who leers at naked 15 year-olds and brags about sexual assault is about to assume the highest office in the land. Quite frankly women have more compelling health interests right now, however, I have been asked by so many people about your vaginal rocks that I felt it necessary to drop you a line.
I read the post on GOOP and all I can tell you is it is the biggest load of garbage I have read on your site since vaginal steaming. It’s even worse than claiming bras cause cancer. But hey, you aren’t one to let facts get in the way of profiting from snake oil.
My issue begins with the very start of your post on jade eggs specifically that “queens and concubines used them to stay in shape for emperors.” Nothing says female empowerment more than the only reason to do this is for your man! And then the claim that they can balance hormones is, quite simply, biologically impossible. Pelvic floor exercises can help with incontinence and even give stronger orgasms for some women, but they cannot change hormones. As for female energy? I’m a gynecologist and I don’t know what that is!? How does one test for it? Organically sourced, fair trade urine pH sticks coming soon to GOOP for $77 I presume?
If the word for womb is yoni I hate to break it to you, but the uterus and vagina are different structures. If you are using the Sanskrit, while I admit I am no language scholar, it seems that yoni means the entire female reproductive tract and you should say that. Terminology aside, the vulva, vagina, cervix, and uterus are not intuition repositories and neither are they sources of “power” or “wisdom.” If fact, I find that assertion insulting. Do you really mean a woman who does not have a uterus is less effective? Is a woman without a vagina less intelligent? Is a woman who had a vulvectomy due to cancer less creative?
As for the recommendation that women sleep with a jade egg in their vaginas I would like to point out that jade is porous which could allow bacteria to get inside and so the egg could act like a fomite. This is not good, in case you were wondering. It could be a risk factor for bacterial vaginosis or even the potentially deadly toxic shock syndrome.
Regarding the suggestion to wear the jade egg while walking around, well, I would like to point out that your pelvic floor muscles are not meant to contract continuously. In fact, it is quite difficult to isolate your pelvic floor while walking so many women could actually clench other muscles to keep the egg inside. It is possible the pained expression of clenching your butt all day could be what is leading people to stare, not some energy glow.
Overenthusiastic Kegel exercises or incorrectly done Kegel exercises are a cause of pelvic pain and pain with sex in my practice. Imagine how your biceps muscle (and then your shoulders and then your back) might feel if you walked around all day flexed holding a barbell? Right, now imagine your pelvic floor muscles doing this.
For women who want to use a device to help with Kegel exercises I suggest using weights made with medical grade silicone or plastic and to not wear them for long periods of time. Kegel exercises are not just about the contraction, the relaxation phase is just as important.
The only thing your post got right is to check with your doctor before using one. So let me give you some free advice, don’t use vaginal jade eggs.
Until next time,
Jen
And these are the same people lecturing us about the evils of faith, morality and the American Way.
God help us.
And I don’t mean that lightly.
Paltrow has her head up her ass so why not jade elsewhere...???
On the plus side let her shove lots of stuff anywhere she wishes... and leave it there... the world will be a better place
Trump leers at naked 15 year olds?
That’s the first I’ve heard of that, so Fake News.
Now Trump is “ leering at 15 yr olds and sexually assaulting women”?
This is from a supposed GYN?
She just had to get her unnecessary and irrelevant dig in at Trump, didn’t she?
It had NOTHING to do with the whole topic.
While she is quite correct about the medical aspects, I lost all respect for her with that second sentence.
That happened in 1992, you stupid b!tch ...
Nice takedown of the stupid hollyweirdo, though. You used facts and logic! Congratulations! Why not try forming your political positions using facts and logic?
Nah!
She thinks Roman Polanski won the election.
I don’t know about other FR gals but I had to read the entire article to figure out WTH a vaginal jade egg is suppose to be and do. You learn the strangest stuff on FR sometimes. :)
She must have been confused by that picture of Bill Clinton on Epsteins plane, with his arm around Epstein’s teenage sex companion
Stopped reading halfway through the second sentence.
I understand that in some Asian and Indian cultures, women — usually concubines — used to insert polished stones called ben-wa balls into ... well, you figure it out. The idea was that they would strengthen the kegel muscles and allow the consort to more pleasurably serve her master. In addition, the stones would tap against each other when the woman moved, and this “clank in the tank” was supposed to be sensual.
Sounds like Gwyn has re-invented a myth that’s a a few thousand years old, and today’s highly educated, independent women are such complete idiots they’re shelling out bucks to buy it.
I was not really inclined to read this article anyway, but whatever inclination I might have had stopped right there.
Gwen, dear, no need for stuffing things that don’t belong inside you inside you. Probably can cause yourself infections and such due to bacteria etc.
Simple enough to do exercises for pelvic floor if one suffers incontinence or other issues - like I think it’s called prolapsed uterus, some co-worker lady had it happen decades ago where her muscles did not hold things in place any longer.
It is like reading something from an alien species — both sides of the discussion!
This is the absolutely perfect thing for Gwyneth Paltrow to be selling. Some new age snake oil product that only a clueless celebrity who owes her fame to being a famous couple’s daughter would think is a good idea. What I’d really love to see is an interview with the idiots who actually follow this dope’s blog and would actually consider putting these “eggs” you know where.
Hi Jen,
I have no problem with liberal womyn using these.
From what I gather, it would reduce their fertility, meaning fewer of them would reproduce. This is not a bad thing!
Hugs,
nully
Good way to end up with a nice infection.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.