Posted on 01/13/2017 4:09:04 PM PST by BBell
In the coming zombie apocalypse, safe spaces may be in short supply, so millennials will have to take shelter under their Spoonk mats and crack open their cell phones in hopes there's creamy nougat inside. According to a recent survey -- this is shocking, I know -- millennials lack even the most basic survival skills.
Apparently SnapChat offers no tutorials on how to build a snare trap.
The survey, conducted ahead of the London Boat Show, found even the most basic of life skills are quantum physics to most millennials. More than half were unable to tie a single knot and 40 percent had never swum in open water.
That removes as an option wading out into a lake while the zombie hordes foam and snarl along the shoreline.
Even more troubling, millennials have no idea how to read maps, relying instead on GPS and the Google Maps app to tell them when to go straight or turn. That means millennials will be the ones wandering through the forest, hoping to find a cell signal. And as fans of The Walking Dead know, zombies love to hide behind trees.
In those forests, even though they're surrounded by wood, any millennials who survive the zombies will likely freeze to death at night because the survey found two-thirds of them have no idea how to spark a fire by natural means. Fire, they had assumed, lives inside of stoves, and only comes out when you turn the dial.
Millennials will also be stunned to learn that seafood markets won't automatically produce more fish after the zombies have eaten their owners. Hungry millennials may see fish jumping in those lakes they can't swim in, but they'll have no clue how to catch them for dinner, even though they'd have to eat them raw anyway since
(Excerpt) Read more at nola.com ...
Seneca has no discerning palate. His current obsession is Oscar Mayer Wieners, cut up into bite-sized chunks, of course!
Only because my Step-Dad gave me THREE PACKS of wieners he got for FREE somewhere. *I* certainly won’t eat them; unless it truly WAS The Zombie Apocalypse and that was all there was left to eat!
I remember an old dog training manual that said cut up hot dogs were THE treat to use when training a dog to do...anything!
Clean the barn! Change the oil in the truck! Feed the cattle! Shake a Paw! Wash the dishes! Scrub the floor! Mow the lawn!
Those wieners can train your dog to do just about anything I guess, LOL!
I was raised by parents and their buddies and friends that were born at the time of the “Great War”, did their youth in the depression, came to maturity and went off to World War Two, built the bomb, and established the greatest industrial giant in the world. They taught themselves, and we their children, how to do almost anything.
These skills wane. My grandfather worked the railroad, but built his own house as well. My father managed construction and built the house I grew up in himself until two in the morning six days a week after work. I built a lot of things, but not a home. I think my boys know and tackle many things, but not, perhaps as many as I did.
That going off into the world to make war is the mother of many skills.
I learned on a ‘65 Beetle and drove a ‘51 Chevy pickup, three fwd on the column, starter button on the floor and vacuum wipers.
And had a 5-speed Plymouth Voyager: the anti-Chrysler.
Scouts Out! Cavalry Ho!
Ford Fiesta here.
“That going off into the world to make war is the mother of many skills.”
I never saw combat (between wars) but my Army years are still applicable to my everyday life, that’s for sure! Mainly by being organized, thinking a few steps ahead, still getting up at 4am - but these days, that’s just to pee, LOL!
My (now adult) boys can grow food and hunt and fish, but they’re lacking in many other skills, IMHO.
But, that’s just MY opinion. If the next war is strictly a cyber-war? They’re all over that, LOL!
Maybe find one of those iFag Smartphone app things? They seem to relate to that stuff more than reality.
To acknowledge those who did not get to serve, I should have added how surviving the want and scarcity of the Great Depression was a great teacher to many as well. My mother, when still in her 80s, would still collect good string and add it to her ball of string to use again. I threw away a number of them a decade ago not wanting to haul them many miles to my garage.
Weird as it may sound, when in Jr HS in L.A. we had to take an agricultue course in 7th grade. Grew radishes of huge size (gag) and carrots.
I still remember old Caperton teaching us about double row seed beds at Orville Wright Jr HS..
I noticed this article came out of The Times Picayune from New Orleans. I assure any boy that grew up South of Thibodaux, Louisiana knows how to hunt, fish, shoot, build a fire, shoot bad guys and survive.
The swamps are a forbidding place to those that do not understand the swamp. It is a grocery store to those that do. One must be careful when shopping there due to snakes and alligators. Do not eat the mushrooms in the swamp unless you are damn sure which are the good ones and the ones that will kill you. I was never that good and only ate the ones my long time swamp buddy picked.
There is a lot of food in the swamp and bayous if you know how to catch and kill it.
HAHAHA!
.
I taught all of my kids how to drive a manual car without ever leaving our driveway.
I just had them keep going forward then reverse without the brakes for about an hour.
Once they realize that they don’t need the brake pedal, they drive confidently.
.
And who likes to complain about how sucky “millennials” are?
I haven't seen one since my Dad's 1952 Nash Rambler.
There was a theft or carjacking stymied by a manual transmission here in e ATL area in the last couple of months.
“.... and I learned on the way home from the dealership.”
You did it wrong. You were supposed to learn on the test drive with another vehicle! Like I did.
“Okay - with the truck clutch you just got to make sure you push it all the way down - it’s just like any other clutch.”
“Clank, grind, SHIFT....”
“Okay - up is for first gear...”
About a mile from the dealership the salesman asks me “Have you never driven a stick?”
“Um - no sir.”
(I didn’t buy from there! But did get a stick.).
My first car was also a 1966 Bug. But it was a super V 1300cc. (I think was standard in 66)
That’s right, 1966 was the year of the 1300 motor. Mine sucked #3 exhaust valve on the freeway one rainy day, so my brother and I rebuilt it with 1600 pistons, cylinders, and heads. Still not a tire-smoker, but the car had noticeably more power.
Good strategy.
I grew up on a farm and most things were manual so I got to learn early in the fields.
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