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Survey finds millennials lack basic survival skills
NOLA.com | The Times-Picayune ^ | 1/13/17 | Todd Masson, NOLA.com | The Times-Picayune

Posted on 01/13/2017 4:09:04 PM PST by BBell

In the coming zombie apocalypse, safe spaces may be in short supply, so millennials will have to take shelter under their Spoonk mats and crack open their cell phones in hopes there's creamy nougat inside. According to a recent survey -- this is shocking, I know -- millennials lack even the most basic survival skills.

Apparently SnapChat offers no tutorials on how to build a snare trap.

The survey, conducted ahead of the London Boat Show, found even the most basic of life skills are quantum physics to most millennials. More than half were unable to tie a single knot and 40 percent had never swum in open water.

That removes as an option wading out into a lake while the zombie hordes foam and snarl along the shoreline.

Even more troubling, millennials have no idea how to read maps, relying instead on GPS and the Google Maps app to tell them when to go straight or turn. That means millennials will be the ones wandering through the forest, hoping to find a cell signal. And as fans of The Walking Dead know, zombies love to hide behind trees.

In those forests, even though they're surrounded by wood, any millennials who survive the zombies will likely freeze to death at night because the survey found two-thirds of them have no idea how to spark a fire by natural means. Fire, they had assumed, lives inside of stoves, and only comes out when you turn the dial.

Millennials will also be stunned to learn that seafood markets won't automatically produce more fish after the zombies have eaten their owners. Hungry millennials may see fish jumping in those lakes they can't swim in, but they'll have no clue how to catch them for dinner, even though they'd have to eat them raw anyway since

(Excerpt) Read more at nola.com ...


TOPICS: Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: adulthood; apocalypse; beprepared; millennials; nancyboys; preppers; shtf; snowflakes; survey; survivalskills; thewalkingdead; zombieapocalypse; zombies
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To: Seruzawa

That probably wouldn’t happen, though. What percentage of cars have stick shifts these days?


21 posted on 01/13/2017 4:54:33 PM PST by HartleyMBaldwin
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To: Seruzawa

Luckily, MY millennial is still a little angel baby princess who still requires the presence of daddy and her ducky when braving the dentist ;o)


22 posted on 01/13/2017 4:55:20 PM PST by papertyger (The semantics define how we think.)
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To: BBell

What, the snowflakes will melt if and when the heat comes?

I’m shocked, just SHOCKED, I tell you! /sarc

Of course, I’m getting old and infirm, but believe I’d outlive the snowflakes in such a situation. I at least have been in a (knife) fight before and know I don’t freeze like a snowflake...


23 posted on 01/13/2017 5:00:23 PM PST by piytar (http://www.truthrevolt.org/videos/bill-whittle-number-one-bullet)
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To: Sasparilla

OMG! You could have gone all day without telling me that! That is scary indeed.


24 posted on 01/13/2017 5:10:58 PM PST by TEXOKIE (We must surrender only to our Holy God and never to the evil that has befallen us.)
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To: Seruzawa

25 posted on 01/13/2017 5:15:14 PM PST by BBell (calm down and eat your sandwiches)
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To: TomGuy

They run?


26 posted on 01/13/2017 5:16:22 PM PST by MSF BU (Support the troops: Join Them.)
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To: BBell

It’s not just millennials. We raise our own chickens for meat...and the common refrain from our baby boomer relatives is “why don’t you just get them at Costco”?


27 posted on 01/13/2017 5:20:49 PM PST by Claud
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To: HartleyMBaldwin

Not many.

Mine was a special order.

I grew up on manuals.


28 posted on 01/13/2017 5:22:19 PM PST by wally_bert (I didn't get where I am today by selling ice cream tasting of bookends, pumice stone & West Germany)
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To: BBell

One of the reasons (besides the price) I got a 6 speed Tacoma.

My old CJs are manual too.


29 posted on 01/13/2017 5:23:11 PM PST by wally_bert (I didn't get where I am today by selling ice cream tasting of bookends, pumice stone & West Germany)
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To: BBell

only good news for someone in my shoes.


30 posted on 01/13/2017 5:29:56 PM PST by Secret Agent Man ( Gone Galt; Not averse to Going Bronson.)
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To: wally_bert

I taught my 18 year old millennial boy how to drive my F-150. He caught on but he still needs practice. It’s a five on the floor. I’d like to try and teach my 21 year old millennial girl but she does not seem interested.


31 posted on 01/13/2017 5:30:20 PM PST by BBell (calm down and eat your sandwiches)
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To: BBell

Someday when I have at least my old 65 Willys roadworthy which I hope to by spring, I’d like to teach my wife how to drive a manual.

I’d take it to a large lot, put it in low range to start and see what happens.


32 posted on 01/13/2017 5:35:21 PM PST by wally_bert (I didn't get where I am today by selling ice cream tasting of bookends, pumice stone & West Germany)
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To: Secret Agent Man
only good news for someone in my shoes.

Why, are you a zombie or a zombie hunter??

33 posted on 01/13/2017 5:36:30 PM PST by BBell (calm down and eat your sandwiches)
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To: BBell

I taught both my son and daughter how to drive in vehicles with stick shift. My son is now 30 and my daughter 25 and both can drive almost anything. I have never owned a vehicle without a stick shift.


34 posted on 01/13/2017 5:37:25 PM PST by Inyo-Mono
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To: Responsibility2nd

I believe it is for a millennial.


35 posted on 01/13/2017 5:38:49 PM PST by BBell (calm down and eat your sandwiches)
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To: Inyo-Mono; wally_bert

When I lived on Japan it was different learning to shift with your left hand. Wasn’t hard though. And two of the vehicles I owned while living there had the shifters on the column. That is common there but do they even put shifters on the column anymore on anything in this country?


36 posted on 01/13/2017 5:43:32 PM PST by BBell (calm down and eat your sandwiches)
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To: wally_bert

The last time we bought a car was about 7 years ago. We bought used, and we had to search a number of lots before we found one with a manual. Some new compacts come with a 5-speed or 6-speed, but I don’t think you can even special-order a new 3/4-ton pickup with a manual any more.

I personally started driving automatics, but the first car I owned was a 1966 VW sedan, and once I learned to drive stick, I never wanted any automatic again. Today we own two cars with manuals and a pickup with an automatic (long story why).


37 posted on 01/13/2017 5:43:42 PM PST by HartleyMBaldwin
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To: BBell

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3cQNkIrg-Tk


38 posted on 01/13/2017 5:48:41 PM PST by PGalt (CONGRATULATIONS Donald J. Trump)
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To: BBell

“Zombie apoc” is getting REAL old as a joke line.


39 posted on 01/13/2017 5:50:51 PM PST by Lord Castlereagh
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To: ctdonath2

It was awesome! Do it, if you can!!! :)


40 posted on 01/13/2017 5:59:16 PM PST by proud American in Canada (May God Bless the U.S.A. (Trump: I will bear the slings and arrows for you, the American people))
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