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Take Back Our College Rankings! Sign our petition! (vanity-satire)
Self | November 14, 2016 | Self

Posted on 11/14/2016 6:13:27 AM PST by Drawsing

I am literally shaking. I woke up this morning hoping it had been just a bad dream - a horrible nightmare. But my worst fears were confirmed. Auburn lost to Georgia yesterday. It was not supposed to happen. We were ranked number 8 and Georgia was not even in the top 25. My tears flow freely and I have nothing but fear and despair over our future. My teddy bear helps only a little.

But there is a slight glimmer of hope. I have started a petition which now has over 40,000 signatures from Auburn fans and like-minded supporters from Clemson, Michigan, and Washington who experienced similar tragedies this past weekend. We are going to take back our rankings! They were stolen from us by mean-spirited coaches and players who took unfair advantage of our injuries. They hatefully sacked our quarterback and literally stole the football from us with an “interception”. What about love? What about being nice? What about our feelings?

Stop the mean people! Bring back fairness! Sign our petition and then we will march somewhere and smash some windows or something!


TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous; Society; Sports
KEYWORDS: election; satire; sports

1 posted on 11/14/2016 6:13:27 AM PST by Drawsing
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To: Drawsing

Alabama beat my Mississippi State Bulldogs 51-3. If Bammer hadn’t had cheated by Nick Satan using better players than us, we might’ve had a chance.


2 posted on 11/14/2016 6:14:46 AM PST by MuttTheHoople (Yes, Liberals, I question your patriotism)
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To: Drawsing

Bad week to lose while everyone else lost. #opportunitylost


3 posted on 11/14/2016 6:22:00 AM PST by major-pelham
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To: MuttTheHoople

I agree completely. My South Carolina Gamecocks were asked to play in the “Swamp” against the Florida Gators. I thought Trump was going to drain the Swamp. If so, why did we have to play there before this Swamp-draining took place? Besides the “Gators” were not really gators at all, but big, athletic football players who were better than we were. Not Fair. We were misled. I haven’t stopped crying. We worked hard to win that game. We were entitled to win because we had worked all these years to get to that game. I’ll sign your petition.


4 posted on 11/14/2016 6:22:14 AM PST by burghguy
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To: Drawsing

I agree totally. Take defenses off the field entirely. We’d be #1. It’s just not fair.


5 posted on 11/14/2016 6:22:48 AM PST by ImJustAnotherOkie (NoHellary)
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To: Drawsing

From deep here in Gawga....

Didn’t ya’ll get a participation trophy?

Hold on to it till next year when ya’ll come back and we whup ya’ again.....


6 posted on 11/14/2016 6:32:28 AM PST by nevergore
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To: Drawsing

At the end of every sport’s season all but the small minority of fans who follow the champion end up disappointed, angry, or even depressed to the point of suicide. Doesn’t matter if they “won their division”, “made the playoffs”, or came “that close” to winning it all. And all for something over which, unless they’re a player or coach themselves, they have no control whatsoever. You gotta let it go.


7 posted on 11/14/2016 6:35:50 AM PST by katana
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To: Drawsing

There will be casualties on both sides. Blood has to be spilt for there to be change...


8 posted on 11/14/2016 6:38:28 AM PST by jimmygrace
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To: Drawsing

Hawkeyes!

Kinnick Stadium was rockin!!!!


9 posted on 11/14/2016 6:41:47 AM PST by MountainDad (A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others. Support your local militia.)
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To: burghguy

I understand. Get a bunch of Gamecock friends and go block a major interstate highway somewhere. You’ll feel much better and probably get on TV.


10 posted on 11/14/2016 6:49:12 AM PST by Will88
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To: Drawsing

Very clever!


11 posted on 11/14/2016 6:53:44 AM PST by Nevadan
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To: Drawsing

AP has 3 teams from Alabama in the top 25:

Bama
Auburn
Troy


12 posted on 11/14/2016 6:54:43 AM PST by lacrew
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To: Drawsing

RTR!


13 posted on 11/14/2016 7:27:05 AM PST by numberonepal (First they came for Sarah, then they came for Herman, and now they've come for Trump.)
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To: MountainDad

I was there for the 1985 game (had cousins who went to Iowa ). Only game where I rushed a field.


14 posted on 11/14/2016 7:50:56 AM PST by MuttTheHoople (Yes, Liberals, I question your patriotism)
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To: MuttTheHoople

Wow. That was an awesome game too! Glad you got to be part of it!

I recorded it on a betamax tape. Lol. Still have it.


15 posted on 11/14/2016 7:56:47 AM PST by MountainDad (A strong man stands up for himself. A stronger man stands up for others. Support your local militia.)
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To: Drawsing

What time and where does the protest start?


16 posted on 11/14/2016 2:08:49 PM PST by jch10 (Stand strong! We have a country to save!)
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To: jch10

I hope your question was tongue-in-cheek, but if not...this is satire...there is no protest, there is no real petition. I don’t have a teddy bear...although I do still have my original Mighty Manfred stuffed dog from when I was 5 years old.


17 posted on 11/15/2016 4:09:57 AM PST by Drawsing (Fools show their annoyance at once, the prudent man overlooks an insult. Proverbs 12:16)
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