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Latest Polls Agree: Clinton ahead of Trump 97% (funny)
The People's Cube ^ | 9/10/2016 | Kommissar Chernobylski

Posted on 09/13/2016 11:38:48 AM PDT by xzins

REUTERS - The 97% number just pops up everywhere because it is a multiple result of everything that is true.

97% of scientists believe in global warming. The other 3% believe in climate change. And 97% of registered Democrats believe anything. 97% of organic gardeners and New Agers believe that Hillary will be the most competent president after Barack Obama who was more competent than George Washington and Ruth Bader Ginsburg. It is rumored that Ginsburg was more competent than president Béla Lugosi. And just as sane. 97% of Democrats believe ISIS has been contained and the 3% left believe that Trump has been contained. 100% of Democrats believe that Obamacare is cheaper today than it was in 1955. 97% of #NeverTrumpers believe that Mitt Romney has a great chance of beating Hillary of we let him run. And 3% of Democrats know that Joe Biden can beat Barry Goldwater.

3% of doctors dealing with brain disorders believe the Democratic contender is brain damaged. The other 97% are serving time in California for distributing an anti-brain-damage video about Hillary.

The polls clearly show that Donald Trump needs to explain the deleted emails from his secret server if he wanted the trust of the American people. 97% of all responders agree that Trump ought to stop lying about encountering sniper fire in Bosnia, and explain the money he received from foreign dictators. He also needs to apologize for raising in excess of six million dollars in a half hour for the veterans, with the sole purpose of embarrassing the Clinton Foundation that donated $5,000 for the whole year out of the Clinton's great love for America. Clearly, Trump is no patriot.

97% of Democrats believe Trump is a cheapskate and Hillary will do everything for the downtrodden. To wit, Trump has in many ways shaped the skylines of such rich cities as New York City, Las Vegas, and Miami, while Hillary's policies have shaped the skylines of such poor cities as Camden and Detroit. As a result, 97% of Hillary's voters agree with Barack Obama regarding Trump or anyon


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: 2016polls; clinton; gullibility; hilliary; lies

1 posted on 09/13/2016 11:38:48 AM PDT by xzins
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To: All
People's Cube Classic Satire:

97% of all responders agree that Trump ought to stop lying about encountering sniper fire in Bosnia, and explain the money he received from foreign dictators.

2 posted on 09/13/2016 11:39:15 AM PDT by xzins ( Free Republic Gives YOU a voice heard around the globe. Support the Freepathon!)
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To: xzins

I’ve heard that six out of every four college coeds have been date raped.


3 posted on 09/13/2016 11:41:42 AM PDT by Mr. Douglas (Today is your life. What are you going to do with it?)
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To: Mr. Douglas

That would be 97%...right?

:>)


4 posted on 09/13/2016 11:42:54 AM PDT by xzins ( Free Republic Gives YOU a voice heard around the globe. Support the Freepathon!)
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To: xzins

I was at a clients office a few weeks ago - an Ivy League grad - who had an email from the NYT...

It showed 1,200+ ways for sHrillary to win the election...

Trump? Two ways...

Looking forward to the election!

Go Trump!


5 posted on 09/13/2016 11:43:46 AM PDT by BBB333 (Q: Which is grammatically correct? Joe Biden IS or Joe Biden ARE an idiot?)
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To: BBB333

was at the doc’s office the other day, and they had Rolling Stone sitting there (it was either that or People...).

I had to pick it up because of the cover; something akin to “How Trump Lost His Mojo”

was about 6 pages of how Trump was listless, old, tired, his enthusiasm was near an end, blah blah blah, and this explained why he was so far down in the polls compared to Hillary!

I thought... hmm, wishful thinking AND someone really jumped the shark here

But then I considered the source.


6 posted on 09/13/2016 11:58:51 AM PDT by Bubba Gump Shrimp (A Liberal is someone who cannot accept that there is a Law of Unintended Consequences)
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To: Bubba Gump Shrimp

7 posted on 09/13/2016 11:59:23 AM PDT by Bubba Gump Shrimp (A Liberal is someone who cannot accept that there is a Law of Unintended Consequences)
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To: Bubba Gump Shrimp

“How Clinton Thumped Her Brain and Aliens Invaded”


8 posted on 09/13/2016 12:01:31 PM PDT by xzins ( Free Republic Gives YOU a voice heard around the globe. Support the Freepathon!)
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To: xzins

I know that when I go into Costco, a deplorable store, that any item priced $XX.97 is a close out. Guess Hillary is a close out special.


9 posted on 09/13/2016 12:07:00 PM PDT by Kozy (new age haruspex)
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To: Bubba Gump Shrimp

Rolling Stone has been propaganda from the very beginning - not just political, but also commercial: It was designed to promote the San Francisco sound (especially Bill Graham projects) and dismiss, especially, the Los Angeles sound.

It is one of several reasons why The Beach Boys have been excised from classic rock playlists since the late 1960’s, even though they were recording “FM-style” music from 1967 through 1973: Most people have thus never heard that music; they think their music ended with 1965 surfing songs. That lack of airplay and therefore of commercial success is largely responsible for them becoming an oldies act from 1974 on.


10 posted on 09/13/2016 12:37:29 PM PDT by YogicCowboy ("I am not entirely on anyone's side, because no one is entirely on mine." - JRRT)
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To: Bubba Gump Shrimp

Matt Taibbi -—the “journalist” who writes these so-called in-depth political exposes for Rolling Stone-— is one of the most unapologetically biased propagandists of the left ever.
He presents his ranting a as news “reporting” while making no attempt whatsoever to disguise his hatred for facts or truth.
He’s a disgrace to a once proud profession.
He claims to be channeling Hunter S. Thompson, who, first of all, was funny, which Taibbi is not; secondly, Thompson was clearly and admittedly writing while under the influence of drugs, an excuse Taibbi cannot claim; and thirdly, Thompson never claimed to be reporting straight news. Thompson knew the diff between reporting news and satirizing the news, a distinction which which Taibbi clearly disregards or doesn’t do well in any event.

I truly hate the guy.


11 posted on 09/13/2016 2:03:09 PM PDT by mumblypeg (Forget Burning Man. Go to Man Hung On A Cross. (h/t to: HighTech Redneck))
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To: xzins

I love the cube


12 posted on 09/13/2016 2:04:29 PM PDT by Nifster (Ignore all polls. Get Out The Vote)
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To: xzins

In the shaping of skylines they left out Port Au Prince, Haiti.


13 posted on 09/13/2016 3:43:46 PM PDT by 5th MEB (Progressives in the open; --- FIRE FOR EFFECT!!)
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To: mumblypeg

Rolling Stone is still published?
Well I’ll be, who’ed uh thunk it.


14 posted on 09/13/2016 3:57:53 PM PDT by 5th MEB (Progressives in the open; --- FIRE FOR EFFECT!!)
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To: xzins

Hey, 97% of democrats believe Ben Ghazi is a doctor on a soap opera.

5.56mm


15 posted on 09/13/2016 4:04:28 PM PDT by M Kehoe
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