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1 posted on 08/26/2016 6:09:28 PM PDT by Lazamataz
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To: HiTech RedNeck; usconservative; ctdonath2

I have gotten to the point that if you have an Indian accent on the phone, I simply tell them I am off the market. It seems to be the magic phrase that gets them off the phone the quickest.

Also, if an Indian emails me about Benoit, Wisconsin — or any other location other than Atlanta, GA — I add them them to my Yahoo.mail banned domain filter. I never will be able to see any more emails from their entire domain.

They are the HIV of the recruiting world.


2 posted on 08/26/2016 6:13:40 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Every word the "News Media" prints these days are a lie, including "and" and "the".)
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To: Lazamataz

Those of us who saw it start back in the ‘90s in Silicon Valley tried to tell USA CEO’s they were being conned.
We were told we were free to find jobs elsewhere.

Now Indian managers hire ONLY indians and American workers are told by HR that they are no longer needed.

It is going to get worse.


3 posted on 08/26/2016 6:14:51 PM PDT by Zathras
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To: Lazamataz

At my old company, before I retired, we used to do tech interviews over the phone with candidates in India. The candidates were wizards, they could answer any question. However, when they actually showed up for work, they seemed to have forgotten everything they knew.

So a decree went out that all interviews must be conducted over Skype. The candidate had to hold up his passport with his picture at the beginning of the interview. The problem stopped, but the prices went up.


5 posted on 08/26/2016 6:17:11 PM PDT by proxy_user
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To: Lazamataz

Indian programmers tend to do every project as if it is a class exercise, for a grade.

Whether it actually works in the real-world application for which it is intended is someone else’s problem.


7 posted on 08/26/2016 6:17:15 PM PDT by Steely Tom (Vote GOP: A Slower Handbasket)
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To: Lazamataz

hahahahahahaha! that is exactly how it goes down! ive listened in on many such phone calls between my husband and indian recruiters.


17 posted on 08/26/2016 6:24:52 PM PDT by uncitizen (Americanism NOT Globalism! - Trump)
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To: TheOldLady; Cyber Liberty; CatherineofAragon; melissa_in_ga; Slings and Arrows; ...
Not all of you will appreciate this, because it's kinda tech-oriented, but all of you will understand the pushy telemarketer angle. :)

I have discovered, when you get an Indian recruiter on the phone, they CANNOT hear the word 'no'. Saying 'no' but remaining on the phone, to them, means you are still negotiating. The only 'no' they understand is a hangup.

Personally, I believe this is the reason for arranged marriages in India.

The Official Lazamataz Sometimes-Funny, Sometimes-Disturbing Ping List
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Original graphic by TheOatmeal

23 posted on 08/26/2016 6:44:01 PM PDT by Lazamataz (Every word the "News Media" prints these days are a lie, including "and" and "the".)
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To: Lazamataz

34 posted on 08/26/2016 6:55:33 PM PDT by luvie (I love the troops. That is all...)
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To: Lazamataz

ROFLMAO! Thanks for sharing your experiences, Laz. HUMOR BUMP! I’ve had similar experiences with automotive engineers from India when I worked in the field. Great workers, book smart and lots of snickers, snorts and laughs.


35 posted on 08/26/2016 6:56:11 PM PDT by PGalt
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To: Lazamataz

LOL!
After 8 paragraphs, “But this essay is not about that. This essay is about Indian recruiters.”


36 posted on 08/26/2016 6:56:22 PM PDT by griffin
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To: Lazamataz

It seems as though nearly every recruiting firm is staffed solely by Indians now. My conversations haven’t been quite as bad as you describe, but I grant that it’s sometimes difficult to get them to spit out where the position is, how much it pays, and whether it’s full-time or contract.

I’m trying to find a full-time position with any good company preferably in New England, but I will take a position full-time with Wipro/TCS/Infosys/TechMahindra in almost any location. It’s been a little difficult to explain to these recruiters what I’m trying to do.

What makes it worse is that many of them use VoIP systems that introduce all kinds of noise, judder and other artifacts, and make it even more difficult to understand what they’re saying.


40 posted on 08/26/2016 6:56:50 PM PDT by Little Pig
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To: Lazamataz

They just press the reset button on their foreheads when they hear no.


46 posted on 08/26/2016 7:02:15 PM PDT by King Moonracer (Bad lighting and cheap fabric, that's how you sell clothing.....)
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To: Lazamataz

>>The issue is the cultural differences. In the case of most Indians, some 90%, they will do EXACTLY as you ask. And that is their downfall.<<

It is crap b/c they work a lot but they are LAZY. One simple RL example (and I have worked in IT for over 35 years, the last 20 or so in consulting): Program A works produces a nifty report. Client wants a new subtotal but also wants original report.

Obvious (and only correct) Solution: Add a parameter to run old way or new way.

Indian solution: Copy program A and change to add new subtotal.

In this case, repeat Indian solution 6 TIMES!!

Obvious problem occurs: Bug in program A. Indian solution requires fixing program A and B and C all the way through F. And the fix IS NOT THE SAME CODE even though the fix is identical!!

Multiply be every Indian developer on Earth and scale to really complex modules (where you will see code repeated over and over rather than capsulized and called) and you begin to see the ocean of crap that enterprises have gotten (since QC never actually does anything other than deal with appearances).

BTW: I worked with Chinese developers and never saw the level of crap I always saw with Indians. Always. Every time.


55 posted on 08/26/2016 7:07:41 PM PDT by freedumb2003 (Never Trump=Always hiLIARy)
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To: Lazamataz

I am just LMAO. Laz, you should just write humor for a living. Seriously. Go write and publish ebooks on the side until you can earn enough money to do it full time. You have the gift.


93 posted on 08/26/2016 8:25:57 PM PDT by TADSLOS (Vote Trump. Defeat the Clinton Crime Syndicate. Reset America.)
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To: Lazamataz

Come to Texas, the pay’s better.

:P


95 posted on 08/26/2016 8:36:18 PM PDT by Kommodor (Terrorist, Journalist or Democrat? I can't tell the difference.)
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To: Lazamataz

Hello...this is Peggy.


124 posted on 08/26/2016 11:32:14 PM PDT by berdie (#No Hill/bern)
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To: Lazamataz

I’m right there with you brother. If the recruiter has an indian name, I won’t even talk to them. Not worth the bump to my blood pressure. It could be the best job on the planet, but if they have stooped so low they are outsourcing the recruiting to those dumbfucks, I do NOT want to talk to them.


126 posted on 08/26/2016 11:48:55 PM PDT by zeugma (Welcome to the "interesting times" you were warned about.)
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To: Lazamataz

Time again for the Mujibar joke:

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India ..

The Personnel Manager said, ‘Mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. Unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job.’

Mujibar said, ‘I am ready.’

The manager said, ‘Make a sentence using the words Yellow, Pink and Green.’

Mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, ‘Mister manager, I am ready’

The manager said, ‘Go ahead.’

Mujibar said, ‘The telephone goes green, green, and I pink it up, and say,’Yellow’, this is Mujibar.’

Mujibar now works at a call center.


129 posted on 08/27/2016 2:12:31 AM PDT by BuckeyeTexan (There are those that break and bend. I'm the other kind. ~Steve Earle)
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To: Lazamataz

You’ll like this Laz: “Never split the Difference”...

https://www.amazon.com/Never-Split-Difference-Negotiating-Depended-ebook/dp/B014DUR7L2

from link:

A former international hostage negotiator for the FBI offers a new, field-tested approach to high-stakes negotiations—whether in the boardroom or at home.

After a stint policing the rough streets of Kansas City, Missouri, Chris Voss joined the FBI, where his career as a hostage negotiator brought him face-to-face with a range of criminals, including bank robbers and terrorists. Reaching the pinnacle of his profession, he became the FBI’s lead international kidnapping negotiator. Never Split the Difference takes you inside the world of high-stakes negotiations and into Voss’s head, revealing the skills that helped him and his colleagues succeed where it mattered most: saving lives. In this practical guide, he shares the nine effective principles—counterintuitive tactics and strategies—you too can use to become more persuasive in both your professional and personal life.

Life is a series of negotiations you should be prepared for: buying a car, negotiating a salary, buying a home, renegotiating rent, deliberating with your partner. Taking emotional intelligence and intuition to the next level, Never Split the Difference gives you the competitive edge in any discussion.


137 posted on 08/27/2016 5:18:31 AM PDT by GOPJ (Leftist agitators employ fascist tactics Kyle Olson. FRAUD IS DONE BY VOTING THOSE WHO DON'T SHOW UP)
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To: Lazamataz

This is painfully true. Thanks for the laugh. I’m praying for your job situation.


139 posted on 08/27/2016 5:27:03 AM PDT by antidisestablishment (If those who defend our freedom do not know liberty, none of us will have either.)
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To: Lazamataz

LOL!!


146 posted on 08/27/2016 10:37:11 AM PDT by trisham (Zen is not easy. It takes effort to attain nothingness. And then what do you have? Bupkis.)
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