Perhaps you'll adopt this one, then. Clearly, it has no home.
Posted on 08/26/2016 6:09:28 PM PDT by Lazamataz
For about a decade and a half, I have heard horror stories of Indian IT outsourcing. I have not seen the horror stories become realized -- for the most part, the crap you get out of Indian offshore IT is, well, crap.
It is not crap because of their skill, in some cases. I have found that while 65% of Indian IT 'professionals' overstate their skill, the remaining 35% can do the job.
The issue is the cultural differences. In the case of most Indians, some 90%, they will do EXACTLY as you ask. And that is their downfall.
Americans are willing to challenge a boss's premises. Indians are not. They will deliver exactly what is asked for, and Americans will -- generally -- find a better, more efficient way to do things. I will give you a personal example:
I was tasked with replicating a credit-card payment data flow, to duplicate the entire flow, except at the end. At the end, thing A had to happen instead of thing B. My boss was an Indian, and asked me to replicate the entire flow with the minor difference at the end.
I was given a week to accomplish my task. I returned in 30 minutes. "I'm done," I said.
"No, you can't be. Come back to me when you are done."
"I'm done. Here's the output. I put a switch on the final SQL procedure for the different final behavior."
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But this essay is not about that. This essay is about Indian recruiters. These people are a scourge. They are a plague.
I intend to stay in Atlanta, GA, but I have had many Indian recruiters contact me about -- for example -- a two month position in Benoit, Wisconson. What the FREEP.
I even put the directive IN MY LAST NAME in the job boards.
I used to be Laz A. Mataz, but I changed my name to Laz A. Mataz (NO RELOCATION! ATLANTA OPPORTUNITIES ONLY!).
They still cannot see it.
So, here is a homage to the evil, horrible Indian recruiters that now flood the recruiting market.
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Typical conversation with an Indian recruiter:
I.R.: Ello this is Ganesh Gupta calling you from A.I.T.R. (Annoying I.T.Recruiters). How are you doing today?
Me: I’m ok. How are you.
I.R.: Fine, thanks for asking. Yes I have a position for you. Are you interested?
Me: It depends.
I.R.: Ello?
For some reason the say ‘hello’ when they mean any number of other things besides hello including: ‘what?’ or ‘would you please clarify?’ or ‘can you hear me?’ I like pretending they mean ‘hello’ as in the greeting.
Me: Hello
I return the ‘greeting’ and they think I can’t hear them or don’t understand what they’re saying.
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Hello
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Hello
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Hello
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Hello
This has actually gone on much longer than this. The passive aggression can be quite satisfying. Eventually I’ll give in and get the conversation back on track by letting them know I can hear them.
I.R.: Yes I have a position for you. Are you interested?
Me: It depends.
I.R.: It depends?
Me: That’s what I said.
I.R.: Ello?
Me: Where is it located?
I.R.: You live in Atlanta, Georg-YEE-yah?
(Indian recruiters CANNOT pronounce Georgia. It's pronounced Georg-ja. They ALWAYS pronounce it Georg-YEE-yah.)
Me: Where…is…the…position…located?
I.R.: Yes the position is located in b..boom foc, Wyoming.
Me: I think it’s pronounced ‘Bum F**k’.
I.R.: Oh sorry yes. Are you interested?
Me: No. I only want to stay in Atlanta, Georgia.
I.R.: You want to stay in Atlanta, Georg-YEE-yah?
Me: Yes.
I.R.: But this is in Boom-foc Wyoming.
Me: I know. But I want to stay in Atlanta, Georgia.
I.R.: This pays very well.
Me: How much does it pay?
I.R.: What is the lowest rate will you accept?
Me: What is the highest rate you are willing to pay?
I.R.: What is the lowest rate will you accept?
Me: What is the highest rate you are willing to pay?
I.R.: What is the lowest rate will you accept?
Me: One million dollars per hour.
I.R.: Ha, ha, oh no. I am sorry the most we can pay you is dollar forty per hour.
Me: One dollar and forty cents per hour?
I.R.: Yes.
Me: One dollar and forty cents per hour?
I.R.: Yes.
Me: I think you mean forty U.S. dollars per hour.
I.R.: Yes.
This is significantly less than I can make anywhere in the U.S. It’s not uncommon for them to say the word ‘dollar’ when they mean that the amount is in U.S. dollars…not rupees.
Me: Is this on a W-2, 1099 or corp-to-corp basis?
I.R.: Yes.
Me: I’m asking you a question. Is the rate on a W-2, 1099 or corp-to-corp basis?
I.R.: Yes.
Me: What is the duration of this project?
I.R.: Ello?
Me: What is the duration of this project?
I.R.: This position is two months.
Me: What is the job title?
I.R.: JAVA developer.
Me: I’m not interested.
I.R.: You are not interested?
Me: I’m not interested because I’m not a JAVA developer. I design and build C#, MVC, and SQL systems. I’m not interested in relocating to Bum F**k, Wyoming. The rate is too low. The duration is too short.
I.R.: We can pay dollar forty-two per hour.
Me: I’m still not interested.
I.R.: Is the location of Boom-foc, Wyoming ok?
Me: No.
I.R.: It is not ok?
Me: That’s what I said.
I.R.: But the position is two months.
Me: Two months is too short.
I.R.: Two months is too short?
Me: That’s what I said. Also I’m not a JAVA developer.
I.R.: You are not a JAVA developer?
Me: That’s what I said.
I.R.: We can go as high as dollar forty-three an hour.
Me: I'm making sixty an hour.
I.R.: Dollar forty three is a great rate.
Me: I'm making sixty an hour.
I.R.: Dollar forty four, I can do. I will contact my manager first.
Me: I'm making sixty an hour.
I.R.: The highest I can do is dollar forty four. Can you do this corp-to-corp? When can you report to work?
Me: (click)
I let that state of affairs frustrate me for a while until I realized that it creates business opportunities for me which are better than being someone’s wage slave.
No this connection is how Beloit got its name. According to folklore and a very good friend who lives in Beloit, Beloit was named by an American Indian chief. It seems he was taking a bath in the Rock River which runs through Beloit and cut a fart. The sound that resulted was "BELOIT". He decided at once, that spot would be named Beloit.
And there you have today's history lesson on the founding and naming of Beloit, Wisconsin.
“Lol. Had a red-dot Indian once tell me over the phone that his name was Eric.”
I’ve had that happen so many times - someone with a heavy Indian accent on the other end says, “Hello, my name is Shawn, and I have a wery special offer for you...”
One of these days I’ll come back with, “Well, hello there, Shawn, I’m Maninderpal.”
I don’t work in IT, but living here in the Silicon Valley I’ve gotten quite a few calls from Indian recruiters. And it seems nearly ALL of them just search CareerBuilder for candidates.
The one time I accepted a job from a recruiter who called me (and btw, he wasn’t Indian) I landed in an absolutely miserable position and for only the second time in my forty-nine years left a job without notice.
But to get back on track, if I get a call and I don’t recognize the phone number (or at least if it isn’t from an area code local-ish to me) I just don’t answer. And on the off chance they leave me voicemail, I don’t respond.
And that reminds me... maybe I need to update my CareerBuilder profile. Last time I did that was about six months ago, when I left that job I was talking about earlier.
On each.
When it becomes apparent they don’t understand English, I start speaking Spanish
LOL!!
Thanks for the giggles anyway (and I hope you score a great job!!) ;-)
RI doesn’t work with effective dating.
There are other ways to enforce RI.
>>Our polygraph and pee test scares off a good percentage of the “locals.”<<
Are they worse than others? More painful? Asparagus required?
>>PeopleSoft is Oracle, though, and Oracle — from what HitechRedneck tells me — is somewhat more forgiving of Dynamic SQL.<<
PS was and is multi-platform so it can’t pre-bind/compile. But yes, Oracle has had great support for dynamic SQL for decades.
All Indian recruiters may not be the same. I think some recruiting firms intentionally hire as recruiters those who do not understand American English. They want mis-comunication. They have families in India paying them to get a job for a family member.
Some of us report that immigrants are willing to take lower wages than Citizens. That is no more true than in the job of recruiter. On my first few IT consulting gigs, 20% to 30% of co-workers were immigrants. But 100% of recruiters were natural born Citizens, African and European ancestry. Now it seems like 90% of recruiters are Indian. They work accept much lower pay than the previous American recruiters. With the low pay, they are often the bottom of the immigrant barrel in terms of English skills, and especially technical skills.
Indeed, some I’ve met seem to take their recruiting job as OJT to learn American English so they then get a better job.
But they are not all like this. My current firm is 95% Indian. I’m their token white male. I’m billable. That is all they seem to care about.
I’ve had both American and Indian recruiters offer to pay me well to go on interviews out-of-town. I told them I’m not interested in out-of-town. Their response is:
That’s OK. You interview well. Once you get the position for us, we will send them someone else who doesn’t interview well. Most of the time they won’t even remember or notice. If they do notice, we’ll make some excuse and they will accept our excuse.
Satyam used to be famous for doing this Indian only. They had a small number of people who had legal papers and interviewed well. They would get the job. Then they would assign the name of the person with legal papers to the unqualified worker. They would have a dozen consultants using the same set of legal papers. They all look alike, you know.
(Indian accent) I accept your offer of dollar one-forty-three per hour. When do I report to work?
When Satyam became headlines, everyone held back for about 6 months. But as best I can tell, the cons are still going on.
Well, I know I personally have been ‘proofed’ before taking tests, and many of the tests seem to be at the interview site now. That’s a good preventative.
I'm not seeing that. 90% of the spam-job calls and emails I get are Indian, but once you use various techniques to deny them access, you get the "old American recruiters" back.
AND AM I THE *ONLY* ONE WHO LIKES CASCADING DELETES?????
Perhaps you'll adopt this one, then. Clearly, it has no home.
Yes, you are. Cascading deletes are a trap.
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