Letter To The Editor NAILS The “Top 12 Reasons To Vote Democrat”

It goes without saying that liberals aren’t the most ideologically consistent bunch out there.

As a resident of New Jersey, it’s impossible to find a newspaper that isn’t in the tank for Democrats. Even the letters to the editor can be painful to read.

Apparently that isn’t the case in the rest of the country! This man wrote a tongue in cheek letter to the editor explaining his top twelve reasons to vote Democrat, and he NAILS it.

I transcribed the letter for those who wish to email to friends. I removed the signature since I don't really know the source of the letter.

A Letter to the Editor from an unknown reader:

Dear Editor:
Here are the 12 reasons I voted 
Democratic:
   1. I voted Democratic because I 
love the fact that I can now marry 
whatever I want. I now may marry 
my Labrador.
   2. I voted Democratic because I 
believe oil companies' profits of 4% 
on a gallon of gas are obscene but the 
Government taxing the same gallon 
of gas at 15% isn't.
   3. I voted Democratic because I 
believe the Government will do a 
better job of spending the money I 
earn than I would.
   4. I voted Democratic because 
Freedom of Speech is fine as long as 
I agree with what is said & nobody 
else is offended by it.
   5. I voted Democratic because
I'm way too irresponsible to own a 
gun and I know that my local police 
are all I need to protect me from 
murderers and thieves.
   6. I voted Democratic because I 
believe that people who can't tell us 
if it will rain on Friday can tell us 
that the polar ice caps will melt away 
in 10 years if I don't start driving a 
Prius.
   7. I voted Democratic because 
I'm not concerned about millions of 
babies being aborted so long as we 
keep all death row inmates alive.
   8. I voted Democratic because I 
think illegal aliens have a right to 
free health care, education, and 
Social Security benefits, and we 
should take away Social Security 
from those who paid into it.
   9. I voted Democratic because I 
believe that businesses should not be 
allowed to make profits for them-
selves.  They need to break even and 
give the rest away to the government 
for redistribution as the Democrats 
see fit.
   10. I voted Democratic because I 
believe liberal Judges need to rewrite 
the Constitution every few days to 
suit some fringe kooks who would 
never get their agendas past the voters.
   11. I voted Democratic because I 
think that it's better to pay billions 
for their oil to people who hate us 
but not drill our own because it 
might upset some endangerd beetle, 
spotted owl, gopher or fish.
   12. I voted Democratic because 
my head is so firmly misplaced 
toward the south end of my body; 
it's unlikely that I'll ever have another 
point of view.
   No trees, Spotted Owls, or Red 
Cock-headed Woodpeckers were 
harmed in the sending of this message.

Corrected a little:

A Letter to the Editor from an unknown reader:

Dear Editor: Here are the 12 reasons I voted Democrat:

1. I voted Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I now may marry my Labrador.

2. I voted Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene but the Government taxing the same gallon of gas at 15% isn't.

3. I voted Democrat because I believe the Government will do a better job of spending the money I earn than I would.

4. I voted Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as I agree with what is said & no democrats are offended by it.

5. I voted Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves.

6. I voted Democrat because I believe that people who can't tell us if it will rain on Friday can tell us that the polar ice caps will melt away in 10 years if I don't start driving a Prius.

7. I voted Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive.

8. I voted Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.

9. I voted Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for them- selves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrats see fit.

10. I voted Democrat because I believe liberal Judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit some fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.

11. I voted Democrat because I think that it's better to pay billions for their oil to people who hate us but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, spotted owl, gopher or fish.

12. I voted Democrat because my head is so firmly misplaced toward the south end of my body; it's unlikely that I'll ever have another point of view.

No trees, Spotted Owls, or Red Cock-headed Woodpeckers were harmed in the sending of this message.

Mogger said: "Democrat" is the noun that should be used to define them, using proper English.

What you say is true.

However, there are publishing style practices which govern changes that editors may make to the words of others.

Assuming that this letter was indeed submitted by a reader to a newspaper, then it would not necessarily be justified to correct a usage error. The rules for transcribing from verbal speech are different, I think, in that the listener may attribute some errors to mispronunciation rather than misuse.

If the source of the letter could be authenticated then the decision would be easier.

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