Posted on 03/03/2016 11:23:09 AM PST by poconopundit
| Miracle drug Trumpazine is sweeping the country and drug companies are rushing to cash in by developing competitive products to Trumpazine.
Hailed as today's most effective treatment for TDS (Trump Derangement Syndrome), Trumpazine is soaring in sales, especially as the Make America Great Again movement picks up steam.
The infectiousness of the disease is astonishing: in every State where Trump is polling high or has won a primary, a large share of voters have caught TDS. In fact, Trump's Super Tuesday victories caused a TDS epidemic in the Northern Virginia/Washington Beltway area. Pharmacies there ran completely out of Trumpazine the day after Super Tuesday. Fortunately a few truckloads of the drug arrived in time to avert a public health disaster. |
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Curiously, the greatest sufferers of TDS seem to be those in the political pundit class. Indeed, the US postal service reports that it has mailed cases of Trumpazine to media organizations such as Fox News, Washington Post, National Review, the Blaze, Huffington Post and the Weekly Standard.
Of course, Trumpazine's manufacturer, Trump Pharmaceuticals, has kept a tight lid on Trumpazine's formula. It has patented the drug and is closely guarding its details like Coca Cola protects its Coke formula.
Nevertheless, Trump Pharma's competitors are on a strong push to Trumpazine clones and rush them to market. And one of them is on a fast track to succeed. The scientists at Mercky Labs have now isolated the key ingredient in Trumpazine and are now in the early production phase of delivering a clone.
Kevin Fitzpatrick Ph.D., Vice President of Research at Merky Labs, explained that his team of researchers was wracking its brains trying to isolate the ingredients. It was then that Steve Garrison, a Competitive Research Analyst at Merky, came up with a key breakthrough.
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"I was scanning YouTube videos of Trump's YUGE rally in Mobile Alabama", said Garrison. "I was looking for people in the crowd with frowns on the their faces -- a symptom that signals the onset of TDS. My plan was to contact those people to conduct some clinical trials.
"But then I noticed something unexpected happened. As Trump walked down the raised platform towards the stage, several kittens climbed onto the platform and surrounded Trump at his feet.
"God knows how those kittens evaded security, but there they were! And all of them were looking up at Trump and seemed powerfully drawn to him.
"Then Trump bent down and picked up two of the cute critters. He perched one on his left shoulder and the second one he raised high into the air -- at which point the crowd of 35,000 went wild with delight.
"Well, seeing those kittens put me on the trail that led to breaking the Trumpazine formula."
Sure enough, with Garrison's clue about Trump's effect on kittens, Merky scientists correctly deduced that Nepetalactone, the cat attractant in the catnip plant, is the chemical cornerstone of Trumpazine.
So now the race is on for Merky Labs and other firms to duplicate Trumpazine and Make America Healthy Again.
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More waste of bandwidth.
“Of course, Trumpazine’s manufacturer, Trump Pharmaceuticals”
Which will go under soon like most of his other businesses have.
You mistakenly posted this in Breaking News. I’m sure you really meant to post it in the Smokey Back Room and cover it with Kitty Litter.
![](http://i.imgur.com/7bXM0em.jpg"; "”source:")
So, you’re saying Trump mania is a symptom of cat scratch fever? Does the Nuge know about this?
Good one, Albion! Thanks.
I like the ring of that theme! Maybe that's why there are five cats at my house.
I’m beginning to think the real symptoms of TDS are:
1. Blind loyalty to a guy who’s only loyal to himself
2. Believing he’s conservative despite obvious warning signs (PP does great work)
3. Shouting “LIAR” anytime anyone disagrees with the Dear Leader
4. Thinking that being disliked by a bunch of uniparty politicians with a 15% approval rating is a dangerous warning sign, while having a great relationship with Pelosi, Reid, Clinton et al is a good thing.
5. Being offended by vile, hateful insults like “Orange Gumby” while thinking “Sore Cruzerman” and “Cuban JV” are extremely clever. (Cuban JV was pretty good).
The Trump Jester!
I’m not a Trump man, and perhaps he is a total con but he speaks to uncomfortable truths that politicians would rather not have exposed! I have to wonder if God has not found a court Jester in Trump, who dances and jokes,who charms and insinuates sarcastically and shakes his rattle at those hidden entrenched elites(of both parties) who have forgotten, that in the end, their carefully laid plans to collapse our nation still count on the naivete’ of the common American to go along with his or her own enslavement!
So Trump like kittens...seems like a positive in his favor to me.
Good job!
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