Obama Bans Wealthy From Hoarding Gold

SkinnyReporter ^ | by Justin Thyme

[Lazamataz]

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Barack Obama today banned private ownership of more than a quarter ounce of gold, saying the move was necessary to revive the economy.

"Wealthy Americans are bailing out on the economy by taking their money out of circulation and hoarding gold," Obama said as he signed an executive order reminiscent of Depression-era President Franklin D. Roosevelt's ban on the possession of gold.

"The wealthy are violating their trust and abusing their position by investing in gold," Obama said. "My order will put an immediate end to this practice, which threatens to hijack the good efforts of Congress and my administration, which needs at least 3 trillion dollars of additional stimulus money to maintain an acceptable rate of growth of the federal government. My motto is 'If you're not getting bigger, you're not getting better.'"

Obama made the announcement at a dais set up in the White House Rose Garden and immediately left without taking questions, his customary practice in his ongoing effort to eliminate transparency in government.

[Leaning Right]

I put it in the topics.

On second thought, you put Humor in the title too. I saw it. But then it quickly and mysteriously disappeared. So I'm guessing that some lib operative hacked into your post.

At least that's the story you should stick with.

[spokeshave]

Many a true word spoken in jest...

[moovova]

What? This isn’t real? Oh crap...I just mailed all of my gold off to the government because I didn’t want to be in violation of the law.

“Wait a minute, Mr Postman...”

[immadashell]

It's a very sorry state of affairs when you might possibly think this is real. A sign of the times (sigh).

[ThomasThomas]

Would Obama really do this to his rapper buddies?

Mr. T isn't happy!

[Southack]

People once actually thought like that...that having more gold in circulation improved an economy, while hoarding gold hurt it.

Of course, that hasn’t been accurate since the invention of credit, but people held onto that mindset for a long time after.

[Gunslingr3]

It’s a thing.

But it's:

A) Made up

B) Years old

So I'm wondering, why is it 'a thing' to post misinformation on FR?

[Lazamataz]

It's a Southern thing, you wouldn't understand.

[usconservative]

Recently it has become very difficult to tell the difference between a joke and actual reality.

Especially when Laz starts a thread. Just sayin'.....

[Lazamataz]

Look at all the keywords. LOL

[ReformedBeckite]

I knew right off the bat this was satire when it said a quarter ounce, which isn’t much.

[Delta 21]

Screw ‘em!

Its good for your constitution to be made aware that you are flying off the handle irrationally at something that another human intentionally misled you on.

Besides, I just figured that this was a long lost part of ObammyDontCare that just got implemented and, Yes, FINALLY, I can say that I am an official criminal in the eyes of my government.

[Smokin' Joe]

Well, I knew it was satire. Otherwise the mint wouldn't be selling 1 ounce proof gold coins, uncirculated gold coins, and bullion coins (unless they were just compiling a 'gotcha' list.

Unfortunately, all my gold sank in the back yard, right where I want to build a root cellar. I'm not exactly sure where, but I could narrow it down to about 16X20 ft. so they can dig for it...

[ThomasThomas]

Why do you need to look at a keyword when every third post says it?

[Lazamataz]

I knew right off the bat this was satire when it said a quarter ounce, which isn't much.

It is if you are talking black tar heroin.

[Lazamataz]

Because it is fun!

[elcid1970]

Laz, it looks like some FReepers need stress-free safe space. Even make-believe can create untold anxiety levels.

Remember “War of The Worlds”?

;^)

[usconservative]

I never look at the keywords ... this oughtta be good for a laugh ... (scrolling up...)

[Rusty0604]

Really, it took me a few panicky seconds to figure out it was satire. With Obama it’s hard to tell the difference between satire and reality.

[G Larry]

After Bambi gets past my defenses he can have my gold.

I am protected against tyranny.