Posted on 12/27/2015 2:27:50 PM PST by huckfillary
Juniata College, a small liberal arts college nestled in the hills of south-central Pennsylvania, has become the first college in the United States to order the removal of every urinal from campus. The vote by the college Board of Trustees was unanimous. The change was in response to an intense years-long campaign by a little-known, militant feminist group called Chicks Against Dicks (CAD). The group employed numerous tactics including petitions, lawsuits, and the occasional smashing of functioning campus urinals. Juniata President James A. Troha, androgynous but not transgender, was giddy over the vote. In remarks delivered breathelessly, Troha said, “Urinals are an insult to women everywhere. We will not rest until every urinal on the planet is destroyed or removed. I would especially like to thank CAD President Soren Cavendish whose ceaseless efforts carried the day. Because of her efforts, urinals will soon be relegated to museums and socially backward institutions.†Aside from the obvious political infractions associated with urinals and standing to pee, Roy Nagle, Juniata Director of Environmental Hygiene, cited numerous threats to public health by standing to pee. “When men stand to pee,†Nagle said, “they are oblivious to the fact that they are depositing drops of urine, biological microagressions, which may infect anyone within a determined range. Not all, but many women also find the smell of male urine offensive. Urinal cakes, evenm jasmine, are only so effective.†Signicantly, the vote requires, after the removal of the urinals, another vote which would require all males on campus to sit down to urinate. CAD President Cavendish reserved her harshest remarks for the centuries-old practice of men standing to pee. According to Cavendish, “There is nothing more painful to a woman, even more than sexual assault, than the thought of a man standing to pee. It is repulsive and repugnant. No one should be allowed to stand to pee. It is an anatomically-endowed privilege. We will not stop until this odious practice is relegated to the trash cans of history.†To enforce the new restroom codes, men’s room volunteers would issue citations to men caught in the act of standing to pee. First offenders would be required to attend urination reform classes, in which men would taught how to sit to pee. Secondly offenders would suffer the loss of meal swipes.
At the frat house, we often peed out the windows. Usually not the ones facing the street. Mass beer consumption plus limited bathrooms is the father of improvisation.
At the frat house, we often peed out the windows. Usually not the ones facing the street. Mass beer consumption plus limited bathrooms is the father of improvisation.
remove the seats from the professor’s lounge bathrooms.
I am not drunk at this moment.
I was afraid something like this would happen when that woman in South Carolina renounced reason.
It is satire. President Troha is neither androgenous nor transgender. He is a scholar and a fine person. The whole thing is fictional to poke fun at campus PC.
Don’t they know that urinals use LESS water than toilets? That’s bad for the environment.
In one of those afore mentioned mill rat dives, we were so disgusted with the pee drenched floors, we`d p!ss in the sink.
Someone needs to start a petition to make women pee standing up. They can if they learn how.
There’s always the wall.
The only places a Guy sits down to Pee is on a Sailboat or Obama’s Bathroom.
I’ve known more than one Woman who has admitted to peeing in the Shower, not that there’s anything wrong with that.
As George Castanza said, the Shower drain goes to the same place as the Toilet drain.
I wouldn’t flush so the problem is solved. I would be doing my thing for the environment :)
I guess they had better get rid of all the Trees on Campus.
There isn’t a Man alive that hasn’t pissed behind a Tree when there was a lack of Facilities.
A small college in the middle of nowhere, I live in Huntingdon PA and that is where it is. Used to be a real prestigious school went down hill and became a liberal cess pool. Kids are getting Blind sided with the liberal crap. I know some that got degrees in pottery and are up to the eyeballs in debt. I laugh at them because they think they are elite in this town. Most of them hang out around town washing dishes and goosestepping to the liberal philosophy!
I have read about this nonsense being pushed in Europe for years. This is the first time I have read about it in this country. What is their problem with men standing to urinate? These people are simply idiots but dangerous. Any male who goes to this college is a wimp.
They got me.
I should have broken the FR Rule and read the entire Article. John Semmens, where are you?
Me bad. LOL
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