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Of course, this builds on many satirists, critics, etc., but I've wrapped it all up into one grand theory. I've been relating all the plot holes, etc., into this for months, and I probably forgot more plot holes that it resolves than I remembered, so bring forth your plot holes, and I will tell you how it works into this.
1 posted on 12/17/2015 8:17:17 AM PST by dangus
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To: dangus

Nice, agree or disagree this is good work.


2 posted on 12/17/2015 8:18:58 AM PST by the_individual2014
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To: dangus

Obi-wan and Luke are the Ambiguously Good duo?


3 posted on 12/17/2015 8:19:08 AM PST by ClearCase_guy (I support anything which diminishes the Muslim population.)
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To: dangus

Did Darth Vader have to wear pampers to avoid electrocution?


4 posted on 12/17/2015 8:22:22 AM PST by A CA Guy ( God Bless America, God Bless and keep safe our fighting men and women.)
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To: dangus
" Han Solo doesn't believe they exist, and a high-ranking officer in Darth Vader's own Death Star believes they are a silly superstition. "

This is because the Jedi were never meant to be a galactic MI6 operating out of a mega mosque -- only 20 years earlier.

7 posted on 12/17/2015 8:27:29 AM PST by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either satire or opinion. Or both.)
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To: dangus
That's actually really interesting idea. That would explain why Luke knows there's good in him and can feel the conflict. That's why Luke is so smug when he's finally brought before the Emperor.

I always thought it odd that Vader so quickly recognized Luke as his offspring, but not Leia (who clearly was just as powerful in the force). Maybe he did, but didn't want to reveal this to the Emperor.

8 posted on 12/17/2015 8:28:19 AM PST by Idaho_Cowboy (Ride for the Brand. Joshua 24:15)
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To: dangus

“Is Darth really so evil? He’s supposed to torture Leia to find the location of the rebel base, but we show no signs he ever did.”

There is a radio-play version, six hours long, which spends significant time on Leia’s tortured interrogation. Trust me: there’s a reason it’s not expanded on in the PG-rated movie - the agony & terror involved would have pushed the rating well into R.


10 posted on 12/17/2015 8:35:58 AM PST by ctdonath2 (History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the week or the timid. - Ike)
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To: dangus

I hear he was also a Brony.


11 posted on 12/17/2015 8:39:26 AM PST by Rurudyne (Standup Philosopher)
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To: dangus

To go along, there’s a popular theory circulating that Jar-Jar was actually a high-level Sith Lord, expert in the Jedi version of “drunken fighting” and using the protagonists to advance his own goals. This well explains his incredible ability to look like a bumbling idiot yet slaughtering vast numbers of Empire troops in the process.

Alas, audiences didn’t get the Drunken Master reference, the plot plan backfired, and Lucas abandoned his plans for the big reveal & downfall of JJ in episodes 2 & 3.


12 posted on 12/17/2015 8:40:28 AM PST by ctdonath2 (History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the week or the timid. - Ike)
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To: dangus
If you haven't watched George Lucas in Love, you must. Tonight.
14 posted on 12/17/2015 8:41:29 AM PST by ctdonath2 (History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the week or the timid. - Ike)
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To: All

I thought he meant Darth Trump.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KU_Jdts5rL0


18 posted on 12/17/2015 8:49:29 AM PST by zipper (In their heart of hearts, all Democrats are communists)
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To: dangus

IIRC, the Sith were always only two: the master and the student.

How only two balance the hundreds or thousands of Jedi is yet another unanswerable question.

Fun topic, though.


19 posted on 12/17/2015 8:54:44 AM PST by Don W ( When blacks riot, neighborhoods and cities burn. When whites riot, nations and continents burn.)
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To: dangus

I thought it was Anakin Skywalker who was the hero.

Darth Vader was a skulking sidekick to the Emperor who was a failure as a leader. Vader? Lost TWO Death Stars.

Anakin killed off the Emperor.

The whole thing is the Decline and Rise of Anakin Skywalker.


20 posted on 12/17/2015 8:55:20 AM PST by Conan the Librarian (The Best in Life is to crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and the Dewey Decimal System)
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To: dangus

Yoda and the Jedi are the biggest incompetents. Yoda’s old padawan was Dooku, Sith traitor. Then Yoda uses the convenient mysterious slave clone army created by his old padawan to fight the machinations of the other slave army, the droids. Which is just what the big Sith lord wanted, who is famous and hiding in plain sight right in front of the the great Yoda. Then the Jedi get killed by their brainwashed slave army. Meanwhile Obi-wan’s padawan becomes the Sith who kills all the young Jedi. Yoda and Kenobi flee.

Worst Jedi Master EVER.

Freegards


22 posted on 12/17/2015 9:13:56 AM PST by Ransomed
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To: dangus

23 posted on 12/17/2015 9:37:45 AM PST by Carpe Cerevisi
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To: dangus

A couple of quick points:

If Vader knew of Leia, why did he so vigorously react when Luke accidentally disclosed her during their battle? His renewed vigor in that fight shows he was learning something new. With two children, he had two chances at turning a partner to help in defeating the Emperor and becoming the Sith master himself. Anakin’s pride again on display. He was always fighting to better his teachers.

Luke was smug when brought before the Emperor because he was convinced he could turn Vader by then. It was a look of “I have already defeated you”.

Anakin only made 3CPO, not R2D2. And when he last saw the droid, he had not been given outer skins yet. There were many protocol droids that looked like 3CPO. No reason for him to know him.

Obi-wan had been a hermit and focusing on the connecting to force at a greater level for years. He knew that Vader striking him would be the impulse event that would transform him directly into The Force - hence no body. Even Vader had a corpse at death. Obi-wan and Yoda did not.


26 posted on 12/17/2015 10:37:45 AM PST by 5thGenTexan
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To: dangus

Trying to think deeply about Star Wars is trying to find your way through the hedge maze of George Lucas’ mind.


29 posted on 12/17/2015 11:12:54 AM PST by Vince Ferrer
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