Posted on 11/09/2015 2:04:56 PM PST by Cowman
You get one guess which state brings us this story, after which I will hit you with a giant stick on which are whittled the words “IT’S ALWAYS FLORIDA.â€
It’s not clear whether this guy was a deliberate Guy Fieri impersonator or just an accidental one, but either way, look at that picture and try to tell me that doesn’t look eerily like the Donkey Saucing Mayor of Flavortown. Via WFLA, the Fieri-esque thief apparently stole food and several bottles of alcohol from Ferg’s Sports Bar in St. Petersburg, Florida after breaking into a rear entrance past closing time.
Police are now asking for help identifying the burglar, so if you live in St. Petersburg, a) I’m so sorry, and b) think back on if you thought you spotted Guy Fieri at any local hot spots recently. We won’t know for sure why the guy appears to have modeled his entire look after the host of Diners, Drive-ins, and Dives until if and when the police manage to catch him. Part of me wants answers, but another part very badly doesn’t want the reality to let down the fantasy I’ve constructed in my head.
Regardless, man, it feels good to get to type “Guy Fieri†again—and to get to use that tag.
I love Diners, Drive ins, and Dives...but Guy Fieri, not so much.
A $10 heist is news? Come on, FL, you can do better!
I liked his show. Too bad he’s started a life of crime.
Oh, wait, this is an IMPERSONATOR???
Never mind.
DANG!
That show’s on so often on the Food Network, I’ve started calling it The Guy Fieri Network.
Yeah, but you gotta love a guy that can unhinge his jaw and shove in an entire side of beef, five pounds of boiled potatoes, and a thin mint wafer in one bite.
He’ll fry for this.
He tried to lam(b), but they cheesed him.
Serve him eggs. If he refuses to eat them, it’s Guy Fieri.
I know some people get rich doing it, but that's because Food Network is advertising for them (oh, hello there, Morimoto’s restaurant in Disney World), not from direct income, IIRC.
When asked why he robbed the sports bar, the Guy Fieri impersonator answered with one word: MONEY!
:: Serve him eggs. If he refuses to eat them, it’s Guy Fieri ::
NOMINATED:
THE Guido post of the thread!
Ummmm...it where the MONEY is.
Who gives f**k about the food!
What? You didn’t read the book on The Food Network? (Sort of ended, iirc, with the beginning of the Paul Dean pile-on. The book, that is. The network, imho, began its decline when they put that woman in as CEO...)
Guy needed a snack, OK? Jeeze.
Looking for a guy with bad hair.......................
FN gets a cut of any merchandising from their later “created” stars, too.
There used to be an unaffiliated "Food Network Humor" site that picked up on a story about a Ferry-lookalike in the audience at some televised sports event.
Ferry immediately notified his Twitter following that "it wasn't him".
Perhaps he's setting the stage to be in more places than one as an alibi and reasonable doubt?
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