Posted on 08/16/2015 3:43:26 PM PDT by Impala64ssa
While no one likes to receive an unwanted sales call, it’s a pretty inevitable experience shared by many. For some unlucky folks, telemarketing calls are frequent and unrelenting, and it’s not uncommon to fall for financial scams.
Sometimes, all we want is to give those callers a taste of their own medicine — and the harmless yet revengeful conversation below just may be a route you’d like to take. It’s a story that’s been circulating ’round the internet and delighting readers to no end. Here, we meet an old lady who’s so fed up with telemarketers that she decides to have a little fun, and show telemarketers just how frustrating these phone calls can be.
According to the Federal Trade Commission, thousands of people lose money to telephone scams every year. Some seem friendly and are skilled in the art of small talk. They may claim to work for a company you trust, or send mail to convince you to call them. I must admit, this is a rather brilliant way to handle those pesky telemarketers. It’s for the greater good of mankind, people! Do you agree?
Ring, ring, ring...
Her: Hello?
Them: Hello Ma’am, I am calling from A Market Research Company*. Would you be willing to take a short study with us?
Her: Absolutely! We here at Evermoon Consulting are always ready to provide opinion based data to our clients!
Them: Um… Ok? Anyway, the survey just takes about 5 minutes and when finished you are entered into a drawing to win a 3 day vacation to Cancun.
Her: That will not be needed. Our usual remuneration per our standard service agreement is all that is required. However please be aware that our lowest billable period is one hour and this call will be billed for an hour of service even if only five minutes is used.
Them: No Ma’am, this will only take five minutes not an hour.
Her: I understand, however your firm will still be billed the minimum hour as per our services agreements. That comes to $225. How would you like to take care of this today? Do you have billing set up with us already? If so I just need the corporate code for your company.
Them: I don’t have that… This only enters you for a trip.
Her: Ok, that’s alright sir. We can set this up on a company credit card for a small fee. Your new total will be $257.98, sir. Go ahead and give me the credit card number.
Them: What credit card?! We aren’t paying $257 for this!
Her: Oh, you are absolutely right sir! I am so sorry! We are talking after 6pm CDT so you are correct that we are in “premium time”. That is correspondingly higher. You total will be $517.54. Thank you for reminding me!
Them: What?! No… No… We can call you after 6pm. The law says we can call until 9pm.
Her: Evermoon Consulting prides itself on meeting our customers needs 24 hours a day sir, but between 6pm and 6am is premium time. I am ready for that credit card number now, Ma’am.
Them: Look, I just have the calls routed to me. I didn’t call you, a computer did.
Her: Oh, I see.
Them: Yeah, so can we just get to the survey?
Her: Yes, but I will have to add our auto-dialer fee to the charges. It’s due to our consultants time being so valuable that we do this to keep them from having their time wasted. With that fee your new total is $759.99. What are the first four digits of the card you would like us to use, please?
Them: Hold on for my supervisor please.
Her: Ok.
Five minutes later... Five minutes later... Flickr Supervisor: Hello Ma’am, I understand there is a problem?
Her: None at all. Your total charges for one hour of premium time consulting with auto-dialer charge and supervisor level respondent fee with credit card processing is $1163.67. Will this be on a MasterCard, Visa, or American Express today?
Supervisor: For what?!
Her: Consulting on your survey of course. What method of payment will you be using today?
*CLICK*
Would you ever be daring enough to try something like this on a telemarketer?
I tell them to call me back on another number, which just happens to be a consumer fraud hotline.
You know this how? Your reference is where?
A few years ago when a salesman tried to sell us some steaks because he was in our area. My husband told them we didn't eat beef, we ate dog. In fact, he said we raise dogs for meat and he tried to sell the salesman some dog meat. It went on for a while and it was hilarious.
Don't mess with old people when we are bored!
mess with these criminal Indian scam callers
I get these all the time and found a pretty quick way to get them to hang up on their own. I tell them I don’t have a computer and usually there is silence and then a hang up the follows.
That is hilarious!
I usually either go into my Mid Eastern excited voice and go into frantic gibberish or I use Cousin It LOL.
A few years back, had some Indian guy call looking for Mr Kitty. When I said he wasn’t home, the guy says “Oh, is this his wife?”
And I replied “No, I just f**k him.”
I heard the guy just gasp, and go “WHAT???!!” THen he hung up.
Other time, when I was asked if I was his wife I’e said “No, I’m his girlfriend, but please don’t tell his wife if she answers next time.”
I did this work in college
Would this work for US Pharmacy? Ever since Sweet Hubby ordered pills from them we have been flooded with 3-6 calls a day. Nothing seems block the calls because they constantly change their phone numbers.
Is that right?
accepted..
If you have a toddler, let them talk to the telemarketer. If they’re going through potty training — bonus!!!
When my son was home he would lead them on and take up huge amounts of their time asking endless questions about the product, whatever it was. It was a game for him. Then they would get to thinking they were going to close a big sale and he would tell them he was under house arrest, declared incompetent and did not have access to money except through a trustee or under the control of a guardian or a minor or something like that. Their reactions were hilarious. Usually really poe’d.
It’s windows support and they tell you your computed is throwing bad ip addresses. This is my favorite call. First I ask them whether it’s my windows, Linux or Mac setups. Before he answers, I tell him well since you are from windows support it must be my windows computers. I then apologize for how stupid I am and will gladly help.
Before I sign onto any computer I ask him for the computer name he found the error on. I then tell him how to go to the computer name and ask him if I could log onto his system to show him. If I don’t get a click, I’ll continue to try to get him to give me remote access to his system. Usually by now they hang up on me. However I have had some of them question why I need to get on their system.
When I finally get bored with them, I .thank them for all their help. They haven’t gotten any closer to getting me to open my system to them andI tell them I had a good time looking at their system. Click.
Cousin It rocks!
Wait, what?
It beats yours
Answer AS a business, and they usually take you off the list - assuming you get to a person to do so.
I guess in terms of being a slimeball jackwagon who pesters people at home because they're not qualified to do anything else, yes. Your experience beats mine.
the funniest ever
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