i have an old police whistle(120db) that must go through the ear with the headset on it straight out the other ear...
Posted on 08/16/2015 3:43:26 PM PDT by Impala64ssa
While no one likes to receive an unwanted sales call, it’s a pretty inevitable experience shared by many. For some unlucky folks, telemarketing calls are frequent and unrelenting, and it’s not uncommon to fall for financial scams.
Sometimes, all we want is to give those callers a taste of their own medicine — and the harmless yet revengeful conversation below just may be a route you’d like to take. It’s a story that’s been circulating ’round the internet and delighting readers to no end. Here, we meet an old lady who’s so fed up with telemarketers that she decides to have a little fun, and show telemarketers just how frustrating these phone calls can be.
According to the Federal Trade Commission, thousands of people lose money to telephone scams every year. Some seem friendly and are skilled in the art of small talk. They may claim to work for a company you trust, or send mail to convince you to call them. I must admit, this is a rather brilliant way to handle those pesky telemarketers. It’s for the greater good of mankind, people! Do you agree?
Ring, ring, ring...
Her: Hello?
Them: Hello Ma’am, I am calling from A Market Research Company*. Would you be willing to take a short study with us?
Her: Absolutely! We here at Evermoon Consulting are always ready to provide opinion based data to our clients!
Them: Um… Ok? Anyway, the survey just takes about 5 minutes and when finished you are entered into a drawing to win a 3 day vacation to Cancun.
Her: That will not be needed. Our usual remuneration per our standard service agreement is all that is required. However please be aware that our lowest billable period is one hour and this call will be billed for an hour of service even if only five minutes is used.
Them: No Ma’am, this will only take five minutes not an hour.
Her: I understand, however your firm will still be billed the minimum hour as per our services agreements. That comes to $225. How would you like to take care of this today? Do you have billing set up with us already? If so I just need the corporate code for your company.
Them: I don’t have that… This only enters you for a trip.
Her: Ok, that’s alright sir. We can set this up on a company credit card for a small fee. Your new total will be $257.98, sir. Go ahead and give me the credit card number.
Them: What credit card?! We aren’t paying $257 for this!
Her: Oh, you are absolutely right sir! I am so sorry! We are talking after 6pm CDT so you are correct that we are in “premium time”. That is correspondingly higher. You total will be $517.54. Thank you for reminding me!
Them: What?! No… No… We can call you after 6pm. The law says we can call until 9pm.
Her: Evermoon Consulting prides itself on meeting our customers needs 24 hours a day sir, but between 6pm and 6am is premium time. I am ready for that credit card number now, Ma’am.
Them: Look, I just have the calls routed to me. I didn’t call you, a computer did.
Her: Oh, I see.
Them: Yeah, so can we just get to the survey?
Her: Yes, but I will have to add our auto-dialer fee to the charges. It’s due to our consultants time being so valuable that we do this to keep them from having their time wasted. With that fee your new total is $759.99. What are the first four digits of the card you would like us to use, please?
Them: Hold on for my supervisor please.
Her: Ok.
Five minutes later... Five minutes later... Flickr Supervisor: Hello Ma’am, I understand there is a problem?
Her: None at all. Your total charges for one hour of premium time consulting with auto-dialer charge and supervisor level respondent fee with credit card processing is $1163.67. Will this be on a MasterCard, Visa, or American Express today?
Supervisor: For what?!
Her: Consulting on your survey of course. What method of payment will you be using today?
*CLICK*
Would you ever be daring enough to try something like this on a telemarketer?
That’s pretty funny, but it’s still just a waste of my time.
I just skip right to *CLICK*.
It works every time and is equally satisfying.
I have laid the phone down and let them or their recording talk to the phone table. Twice I have locked their system up for over half an hour till I finally hung up.
I have had a number of comebacks for these telemarketers
A high pressure sales pitch for BRAWNDO! THE THIRST MUTILATOR (c).
Dakota County Sheriffs Department
Prairie Island Power Plant
And now for the telemarketers pitching small business financing, I tell them that I am in the imported olive oil business, with other services as well. I try to sound like I’m from Bay Ridge or Bensonhurst. Capiche?
A typical scam caller might claim to be from Microsoft, and say they have reports that your computer is infected. For perhaps $200 the scammer will say he'll remotely clean your computer for you. Or the scammer might claim to be from the IRS, and say you owe the IRS money, but you'll get a discount if you pay now, over the phone.
I read a report out of the UK that said something like 1 in 5 people who get these calls fall for it.
That old lady was so good on the phone, that company should hire her. You notice how the price kept going up, up, up, with each minor change? She kept going back to requesting that credit card number. “I’ve got my pen all ready to write it down. I’m just waiting for you!”
i have an old police whistle(120db) that must go through the ear with the headset on it straight out the other ear...
Laying the phone down works for me.
Although I do enjoy playing with those guys from “Microsoft.” My typing skills just go to hell when I talk to them. “:)
I have a yellow stickie with a phone number attached to my ‘puter. When I get a robo call to press 1, then all operators are busy please leave a message, I give them the name/number of the local FBI special agent in charge.
I usually hang up immediately but one day, after a dozen calls, I tore them a new one. A few weeks later, they sent me a dollar bill in the mail with an apology. Hmm, now where did they get my mailing address, uh huh.
I use a similar type tactic and act like I’m a telemarketer that was making a call outbound right as I received their call. I’ll usually launch into a sales pitch and attempt to sell them an item like an automated backscratcher by Whamo with 3 type sandpaper attachments for different skin types. Or something like this is “Rob from credit card services” in a monotone voice...
It drives them nuts and they hang up...: )
I get these calls all the time, too.
I ask them if the product/service they’re selling will clean up copious amounts of blood spatter (or vomit, if it is dinnertime in Mumbai), and not leave any traces for CSI.
They usually hang up pretty fast!!
I used to give the phone number for the White house when a clerk asked me for a phone number.
Now, I've read that our cell phones numbers will soon be released to telemarketers. There is another government number to call in order to opt out.
Telemarketer seems to call 911.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBWywhv_Fxw
Tom Mabe Crashes Telemarketing Convention
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qDek_Bzem8k
He checked into the same hotel a telemarketing convention was staying, started calling them at 3 a.m. trying to sell them stuff.
Crystal Ball Telemarketer Prank by Tom Mabe
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TUOBNGdTN1Y
LOLOL :D
That is pretty good!
There’s this guy from India that I hire sometimes. He works for just one dollar an hour! I remember I once had some appointment setter from India calling me to set up an appointment with me and his American boss. Finally I excepted, but I had it set up that he would have to talk to my Indian on the phone instead of me!
I am on two no call lists but that is a state of Colorado scam or something as Rachel form credit card services called me for over 10 years. I have heard of people hitting #69 and saying “Operator trace this call” and hanging up.
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