Posted on 07/31/2015 5:41:28 AM PDT by Lucky9teen
A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. "Human beings are the only animals that stutter," she says.
A little girl raises her hand. "I had a little cat who stuttered."
The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.
"Well," she began, "I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door named Lacey, got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!''
"That must've been scary," said the teacher.
"It sure was," said the little girl. "My kitty raised her back, went 'Ffffff!, Ffffff!, FfffffF,' but before she could say 'F***-off'!, the Rottweiler ate her!"
A firefighter was working on the engine outside the Station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle.
The girl was wearing a firefighters helmet.
The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The firefighter walked over to take a closer look.
'That sure is a nice fire truck,' the firefighter said with admiration.
'Thanks,' the girl replied. The firefighter looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dog's collar and to the cat's testicles.
'Little partner,' the firefighter said, 'I don't want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you were to tie that rope around the cat's collar, I think you could go faster.
The little girl replied thoughtfully, "You're probably right, but then I wouldn't have a siren."
A man is stuck in traffic on I-25 near Denver. He asks a Police officer about the delay as he walks from car to car speaking with each of the drivers.
The policeman says, "There are three Muslims blocking traffic and threatening to douse themselves with gas and set themselves on fire if we don't get them airline tickets to the Middle East. So we're taking up a collection for them."
The Man replies, "How much have you got so far?"
The Policeman responds, "About 30 gallons, but a lot of people are still siphoning."
Zebra
Iron Maiden
Rush
Cream
Opeth
Nuclear Assault
Exodus
Nightwish
Corrosion of Conformity
Rolling Stones
Ugly Kid Joe
Santana
Testament
Entombed
Dead Kennedys
Tool
Whitesnake
Eagles of Death Metal
Echo & the Bunnymen
Zodiac Mindwarp
Earth, Wind & Fire
Ramones
Slayer
OK. blueunicorn6.
“B”.
A band that starts with a “B”?
Let’s see.
Lawrence Welk?
No.
The Honeydrippers?
No.
The Archies?
Hey! It works! Sugar sugar awwww honey honey
Motorhead
Avenged 7 Fold
Ted Nugent
Halloween
Exodus
White Snake (little hair band never hurt anyone)
Slayer
Emerson Lake and Palmer
Quarterflash
Anthrax
Nine inch nails
Delaware Destroyers (ok, George Thorogood and said band)
Yardbirds
Boston
Uncle Cracker
Zebra
ZZ-Top
Show off.
Frank Zappa
Red Hot Chili Peppers
Eric Clapton
Debbie Harry
Homer and Jethro
Everlast
Aerosmith
Doobie Brothers
(I used my screen name)
Blue Oyster Cult
Electric Light Orchestra
Nirvana
Leo Sayer
UFO
Red Hot Chili Peppers
King Crimson
Iron Butterfly
Nine Inch Nails
Release the Kraken!
X-files // fancy https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RgYPWayUjmo
Foo Fighters
R.E.M.
Anthrax
Nine Inch Nails
Kinks
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